Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 62 Days and 77460 Haiku later...


Sleeping is my favourite hobby

Penile refreshments
gently fulfil the thirsty cops
They have guns --my bad.
Haiku # 13497, September 6, 2001 6:12 pm ET
by Palsy

Potery

Clay Jars break swiftly
hurried chaos on my floor
Bonsai look better
Haiku # 13496, September 6, 2001 5:55 pm ET
by Palsy

Problems

I have problems
writing haiku because
I have problems writing
Haiku # 13495, September 6, 2001 5:48 pm ET
by Palsy

Dangerously Kilted

Rocks giggle 'neath skirts
Haggis comes out unchanged
Who's laughing now!
Haiku # 13494, September 6, 2001 5:44 pm ET
by Palsy of Up North where you can't see me do my laundry.
before satori
i'd chop wood and draw water
now, it's vice versa
Haiku # 13493, September 6, 2001 5:36 pm ET
by scott (trying to bring the quality of haiku down a notch or two)
The RINZAI SCHOOL

striking the Buddha
with fists: we must -- we're not even
enlightened yet!
Haiku # 13492, September 6, 2001 4:33 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Everett WA U.S.A.
DREAM #361

heaven: miles of snow.
earth: gallons of milk -- the cows
lounge, the barn burns.
Haiku # 13491, September 6, 2001 4:31 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Everett WA U.S.A.
PENANCE

blue beetles running
on a mudflap while we pick
the oblong green pears.
Haiku # 13490, September 6, 2001 4:29 pm ET
by Jamie Fischer of Everett WA U.S.A.
She has left that prick
he always went in head first
causing her to bleed
Haiku # 13489, September 6, 2001 3:20 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
Oui Esse, Tu Durak
Play with clay, I say today
Clayman - Claywoman
Haiku # 13488, September 6, 2001 2:01 pm ET
by ComiCat of Jerzey
woman in next cube
she noisily passes gas
smells like baby food
Haiku # 13487, September 6, 2001 1:40 pm ET
by NaCl
triple entendres
are really tough to pull off:
nixon, what a dick!
Haiku # 13486, September 6, 2001 1:32 pm ET
by scott (it's mediocre, i know...let's see you do better)
joe frank lifts the rug
where we sweep all our despair
and wades into it
Haiku # 13485, September 6, 2001 12:43 pm ET
by scott
Woman asked barkeep
for a double entendre
he gave it to her
Haiku # 13484, September 6, 2001 11:41 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
I now have a watch
That receives text messages
Neat-o Torpedo!
Haiku # 13483, September 6, 2001 9:57 am ET
by Fuzzy
i have but one name
though some may call me trouble
kiss my cloven butt

haiku 13482
Haiku # 13482, September 6, 2001 8:47 am ET
by ash
I have many names,
Son of the Morning is one.
Kiss my cloven hoof.

Isaiah 14:12
Haiku # 13481, September 6, 2001 7:39 am ET
by SuperDave
At Safeway this week:
fresh cut asparagus spears,
two pounds for a buck
Haiku # 13480, September 6, 2001 7:32 am ET
by SuperDave
Walt Disney once said:
"It's a small world after all..."
-Now HE'S in a fridge!
Haiku # 13479, September 6, 2001 6:25 am ET
by Pterodactylman of Australia
some radiation
experimental whaling
ain't it all science?
Haiku # 13478, September 6, 2001 5:23 am ET
by ash
so cheap and crude...
perhaps a big degrading
blame Society
Haiku # 13477, September 6, 2001 1:18 am ET
by scott
dolphin in tuna -
that's what i was suggesting
though not ground to bits
Haiku # 13476, September 6, 2001 1:04 am ET
by scott (who's afraid of vagina dentata?)
Best dolphin I had
was caught in a net and ground
up in my tuna
Haiku # 13475, September 5, 2001 11:18 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
The spot on your back
that I pressed just right last night
is still on my mind
Haiku # 13474, September 5, 2001 11:14 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
Stumbling through the grass
I find my way back to camp
but too stoned to sleep
Haiku # 13473, September 5, 2001 11:12 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
My sky spins blue
like the waves that surround you
making me spin, too
Haiku # 13472, September 5, 2001 11:08 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
The beast comes at you
his eyes are bright white but they
turn red in retreat
Haiku # 13471, September 5, 2001 11:06 pm ET
by NaCl
bet, be my mermaid -
give to me your salty spray
take a dolphin ride
Haiku # 13470, September 5, 2001 9:31 pm ET
by scott (sinking back into the depths...and do you mind, ap? can't you see i'm busy here?)
she goes in colors
she's a rainbow a rainbow
erotic colors
Haiku # 13469, September 5, 2001 9:31 pm ET
by ap to betty
yes! good idea!
got to keep on movin', move
move on far away
Haiku # 13468, September 5, 2001 9:22 pm ET
by ap
*correction:

the pressure of legs
strong enough to part the sea
i rise from its depths...
Haiku # 13467, September 5, 2001 9:03 pm ET
by scott (i blew the syllable count - can you blame me for being a little excited?)
the pressure of legs
strong enough to part the sea
i'm rising from its depths...
Haiku # 13466, September 5, 2001 8:54 pm ET
by scott (it's coming back to me now...)
Legs drape cross your lap
while sweat beading sun leaves you
a wet silhouette
Haiku # 13465, September 5, 2001 8:37 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
cetaceous rumblings
in this electric ocean
and saline so sweet
Haiku # 13464, September 5, 2001 7:48 pm ET
by i've forgotten
trickling the sea
i swim against your current
nameless, briny, moist
Haiku # 13463, September 5, 2001 5:30 pm ET
by the lifeform formerly known as "scott" of in an erotic primordial haze
a rolling drop of
lubricious perspiration
escaping navel

quickening, rounding
the banked curves of soft belly
lost in a thicket
Haiku # 13462, September 5, 2001 4:56 pm ET
by scott (now look what you've done)
the surface tension
of a rolling bead of sweat
has captured my thoughts
Haiku # 13461, September 5, 2001 3:18 pm ET
by scott (forget working...)
grunting and moaning
yelling, huffing and puffing
and he's just typing
Haiku # 13460, September 5, 2001 3:07 pm ET
by scott (i can't get a thing done with all this racket...) of on the Cube Farm
Sweat beads from your lips
tickling my neck as they run
down past my belly
Haiku # 13459, September 5, 2001 3:07 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
Could be, I'm not sure
could be first drafts, practice and
time for me to move on
Haiku # 13458, September 5, 2001 12:05 pm ET
by Moxie
what does it all mean?
you talk a load of crap moxie
far as I can tell
Haiku # 13457, September 5, 2001 12:01 pm ET
by mellie

.......ahem...:

.matutinal light...
incipient, luculent:
..a coot's minuet
Haiku # 13456, September 5, 2001 11:29 am ET
by ronin@wellhellotherejanis
To those below me
who are in hell, then you
mock those above you
in an attempt
to get them to join you
forever...
Haiku # 13455, September 5, 2001 10:43 am ET
by Moxie
Man from Cali hits
a deer in New England and
is shocked when the cop
says, "do you want it?"
Haiku # 13454, September 5, 2001 10:42 am ET
by Moxie
Happenstance, it's a
webby, and our enemies
make things more joyful
Haiku # 13453, September 5, 2001 10:41 am ET
by Moxie
Beer nuts are sold at
a dollar per pound--Deer nuts
are under a buck!
Haiku # 13452, September 5, 2001 10:40 am ET
by NaCl of your underpants
there's nothing better then
slurping oysters from the shells
hmmmm maybe there is
Haiku # 13451, September 5, 2001 8:55 am ET
by mellie
A constant sweat flows
Devistation all around
Dead A/C unit
Haiku # 13450, September 5, 2001 6:41 am ET
by Choncha of Arizona
incalculable
hideous deformity
it's moxie again
Haiku # 13449, September 5, 2001 6:28 am ET
by ash
Yummy loaf of meat
Surrounded by potatoes
Sweet sauce tops it all
Haiku # 13448, September 5, 2001 6:26 am ET
by SuperDave
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