incalculable
hideous deformity
it's moxie again

Yummy loaf of meat
Surrounded by potatoes
Sweet sauce tops it all

shocking news update!
despite previous reports,
grandma has TWO cocks!

a man with two dicks
will pee in two directions
don't stand next to him

Don't call me 'hunchback'!
I won't call you pussy face.
How about Dick Nose?

(I have a hunch you won't
like that either. FUCK YOU!)

A man with two dicks
A girl with three nice big tits
Are they not human?

A cold can of Bud,
A girl with really BIG TITS.
I am in heaven!

is a tricycle
that has one, two or four wheels
a bad tricycle?

Some adults wish that
their opinion was the one
true one, so much flush...

Cold ribs in Rockland
salmonella hour' devours
with Mt. Dew!

(it's not exactly a "bad haiku"...I'll try that next)

so many ideas
so many opinions said
boldly, so much weight

Fish feces won't fit?
Use other words to say it
Try using bass turds

They wrote a hit song
Bono, Edge, Mister Rodgers
A Beautiful Day...

Some poles have flavor
Some tadpoles have grown their feet
Some tadpoles are frogs

it's day one hundred
of this cruel experiment
office with no walls

Hot and sweaty beads
Dropping on skin full of lust
Not the One trusts.

Magnetic Beauty -
Ironic, Hypnotic - I
Can't Pull My Eyes Away.

The maypole game scene
izzat kid's priapism
or celebrated
folks with the young hots?

Pallandrome #13431:
A Man A Plan A CAnal,
PAnaMA! - You See?

Pragmatic Bullshit:
Rationale Too Ideal For
Syllabic Torture

it's spongiosum
at the party in my pants
and cavernosum

Inside the tunnel...

A bleek white light - Dot
Framed by complete black - Dot
Coming near slow - Dot

I did happen - Dot
Naturally, flow, flow, flow - Dot
Approaching the

priapisim! wow!
now that's a great affliction.
where can i get some?

migrating osprey
stalk fish from altitude
white wings and high screams

with priapism
there's no need to ask what's up
because it sticks out

temperature's low
the AC now can slumber
autumn threatens us

early whiff of spring
delectable fragrances
precede hay fever

a wanker, and proud -
come on, everyone who wanks
please raise your left hand

solo flights are fine
when you've waiting on standby
flights leaving daily

(okay on the tongue...how about i slide my hand lower oh so slowly)

hmm, a lazy Bible
reader, myself, is obnxious...
thanks ronin, you helped

When I keep my mouth
shut, you do your better work
critique just ain't art

I enjoy you when you
talk about life

if you do haiku
count to five and seven too
or view the crew spew

dum de dum de dum
dum de dum de dum dum dum
dum de dum de dumb

what's wrong with ya tongue?
hey don't hold back now scottie
we've gone this far mate

what's wrong with ya tongue?
hey don't hold back now scottie
we've gone this far mate

giving out too much
way too much information
are you a wanker?

making mel nervous
gives me a peverse thrill, but
let's kiss and make up

(no tongue, i promise...)

(sorry to dismay
in my book, you're a-o-k
my my, hey hey, k)

she: on the tightrope
me: clothed in my dream, she: nude
me: no pajamas

...and my wrists were sore too, what do you make of that?

suffering nightmares
about tom tightening ropes
woke up with sore wrists

then who was walking
on the tightrope, you or her?
this might mean something.

i dreamed of nichole
naked, walking a tightrope...
does she dream of me?

nicole kidman says
she wants a taller lover
we all qualitfy

jerry lewis, yes
campy crippled telethon
aussies don't suffer

I noticed that in
Scott's list of fondness my name
was left off. I'm hurt.

I noticed that in

Hey it's Labor Day
weekend! Why don't you people
get lives and go out.

ancient panelling
scarred by long gone fists and nails
June bugs in July

an overhead fan
to stir the hot sticky air
a stained foam mattress

every now and then
the bugs would meet the fan blades
and become missles

and let's not forget
that "No Haiku Submitted"
quite the soul of wit

i must borrow from
the late bad haiku master:
a roomful of love