Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 61 Days and 77459 Haiku later...

inflation limit
al greenspan understands this
economic fart
Haiku # 9758, May 1, 2001 6:50 am ET
by ap
wear goggles and gloves
repotting yukkas my god
you could lose an eye
Haiku # 9757, May 1, 2001 4:05 am ET
by mellie
It's late and I know
that when I slur and mistype
a British accent
Haiku # 9756, May 1, 2001 1:14 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
Tell me that it's true
and me beams will say so too
just because it's you
Haiku # 9755, May 1, 2001 1:12 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
If I dial your smile
Would you waste away your while
and run one last mile
Haiku # 9754, May 1, 2001 1:07 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
Me not know numbers
Me know Cheetah, monkies, Jane
Me can write haiku
Haiku # 9753, May 1, 2001 1:02 am ET
by Tarzan
Haiku # 9752, May 1, 2001 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There once was haiku
At least an attempt or two
Now ruined by you
Haiku # 9751, May 1, 2001 1:00 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
Tactics is knowing
what to do if and when there
is something to do.

Strategy, then, is
knowing what to do when there
is nothing to do.
Haiku # 9750, April 30, 2001 11:15 pm ET
by Quebasa of Krakow
Nine Valentines

9748 - 9740
I can love you now my heart is a SHIELD
Haiku # 9749, April 30, 2001 11:06 pm ET
by to Matt Groening
Nine Valentines

I can love you now, my heart is a ahiels
my phallus a sar to which you will yeild
"oh, my dear sar!" you say it so weird
I thought that myself; it's not what I've heard!
Haiku # 9748, April 30, 2001 11:00 pm ET
by to Matt Groening
I offered you love, then I held it back
it came 'round again, an' I was taken aback
to live without, your heart must really be strong
to give it, doubt not, art your arm long?
Haiku # 9747, April 30, 2001 10:57 pm ET
by to Matt G
let my love's repute precede me
I'll waiter your wants til you need me
my heart on a platter wasn't enough
for your rationalizations: such heady stuff
Haiku # 9746, April 30, 2001 10:55 pm ET
by to Matt G
never did sissy make such a fuss
pushing my love up a mountain's a bust
but my heart's pounding to roll down over me
'cause dragging me up with it's so unloverly
Haiku # 9745, April 30, 2001 10:53 pm ET
by to Matt G
it's not many a dog will give up a bone
with a wag of a hope of not being alone
if you don't want it, what'll I do
you'd be heartless to waste such a hardy chew
Haiku # 9744, April 30, 2001 10:50 pm ET
by to Matt G
"my heart's set on you" would I shut my yap!?
I feel like I'm likely to stumble in my own trap
the bite's too big or the bait's too small
you'll lose a foot freely or not see it at all
Haiku # 9743, April 30, 2001 10:48 pm ET
by to Matt G
if I wore pajamas covered in hearts
would that restore so many bad starts
would you adore such a desperate pash
please do, else I'm sure to break out in a rash!
Haiku # 9742, April 30, 2001 10:46 pm ET
by to Matt G
a heart you should seek is a heart you can earn
however, out of your reach; there's a lesson to learn
there may be a trick, as there may be merit
better my heart on a stick, than an edible carrot.
Haiku # 9741, April 30, 2001 10:44 pm ET
by to Matt G
to waste away, or live love too fast
at least we can say, we'll find peace at last.
if I died for love and you were only plucked;
I hope it's remembered, both lovers are fucked.
Haiku # 9740, April 30, 2001 10:41 pm ET
by to Matt G
chili for dinner
green onions and cheese, hard rolls.
blow sheets off the bed

"open the window,
sleep in the guest room" she says
much methane madness


Haiku # 9739, April 30, 2001 10:41 pm ET
by ap
Snakes! Yes, snakes live here.
God's error these creatures are.
Scare the shit from me.

venomous bastards
seem so extreme as such
just to kill a mouse
Haiku # 9738, April 30, 2001 10:28 pm ET
by ap
cool dark night surrounds
while spring peepers serenade.
loud little fuckers.

Haiku # 9737, April 30, 2001 10:22 pm ET
by ap
no contemplation
and never meditaion
sold my brain for beans
Haiku # 9736, April 30, 2001 10:18 pm ET
by ap
TV is vast wasteland
you ain't just whistlin' Dixie
Tom Green Show is on
Haiku # 9735, April 30, 2001 10:14 pm ET
by Mr. Blue Sky
I watch birds have sex
cable tv is so strange
Marlin Perkins spins
Haiku # 9734, April 30, 2001 10:14 pm ET
by Mr. Blue Sky
K-Mart or Wal-Mart
where will I find the best deal
Blue light shows the way
Haiku # 9733, April 30, 2001 10:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
betty lebomb yeah!
ideas rolling around.
let'em out betty.
Haiku # 9732, April 30, 2001 10:12 pm ET
by ap
cell phone in one hand
hard line in the other hand
laptop blinks email
Haiku # 9731, April 30, 2001 10:08 pm ET
by ap
ranting and raving
whining crying and bitching
but not bad haiku

not bad poetry
no discernable meaning
a cry for pity?
Haiku # 9730, April 30, 2001 10:06 pm ET
by ap
can they get it right ?
enough streams of consciousness
it's 5 - 7 - 5
Haiku # 9729, April 30, 2001 8:48 pm ET
by ash
Confidence artificial
sort of given by practice...
At worst it leads to
My own thing is God
Haiku # 9728, April 30, 2001 4:41 pm ET
by Moxie of self help...
It's that experience
that I'm getting old when I
seem to bounce off some
shell of a girl blunt
answers, but it's the back off
my boyfriend is stoned.
I don't want to give
him away Moxie, you might just
be a narc...I am.
Haiku # 9727, April 30, 2001 4:40 pm ET
by Moxie of who's this stoner kid...?
i am i am i
said i'm not myself i'm not
dead i'm not for sale

so keep your bank roll
lott'ry eat your salad day
death bed motorcade
Haiku # 9726, April 30, 2001 4:31 pm ET
by impro of nod to stp
Been out of office
Trying to get house stuff done
So I can move in.
Haiku # 9725, April 30, 2001 4:21 pm ET
by Saint
how lonely my dark
desolation and shadow
where is our saint, now?

oh that I would die
rather than endure this pain
where is our priest, now?
Haiku # 9724, April 30, 2001 3:53 pm ET
by Drophammer of from a lonely place
gingerly padding
my stinking pouting ass with
toilet sand paper
Haiku # 9723, April 30, 2001 2:55 pm ET
by Buns_of_Steel of Dallas, TX
Electrical light
Melted my feet, burned my sight
You sparkled so bright
Haiku # 9722, April 30, 2001 1:01 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
One day I did play
With oceans and crashing waves
I long for that day
Haiku # 9721, April 30, 2001 12:56 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
I thought it was glue
How it stuck to me and you
This thick haiku stew
Haiku # 9720, April 30, 2001 12:45 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
Remifeminist?
What a fucked up commercial
Ads are so boring
Haiku # 9719, April 30, 2001 11:36 am ET
by Stavesacre of Little Rock
mellie, the juicer!
unafraid but unfilling
fuck farce be with you!
Haiku # 9718, April 30, 2001 11:28 am ET
by boo
what did I come here
for tai chi or chi tea, duuhh!
do you remember?
Haiku # 9717, April 30, 2001 11:22 am ET
by Confused such says
cradled in both hands
thumbs gently pulling back skin
aromatic bliss

it's bursting with juice
parting lips salivating
I slip it straight in
Haiku # 9716, April 30, 2001 11:07 am ET
by mellie, dedicated to the mandarin
the earth spins in the
direction opposite the
motion of my feet
Haiku # 9715, April 30, 2001 10:48 am ET
by impro
irritating itch
drives you nuts till you scratch it
and pick at the scabs

Haiku # 9714, April 30, 2001 9:24 am ET
by mellie
starting again now
starting from scratch is so cool
you undo mistakes
Haiku # 9713, April 30, 2001 9:18 am ET
by mellie
and staring from scratch
only way up is right way
carefully does it
Haiku # 9712, April 30, 2001 4:21 am ET
by mellie
snag for feminists
could be the itchy pussy
I'd give it a scratch
Haiku # 9711, April 30, 2001 4:17 am ET
by mellie
within delusion
to discard disillusion
start that infusion
Haiku # 9710, April 30, 2001 3:55 am ET
by ash
an itchy scrotum
empathy notwithstanding
offends feminists
Haiku # 9709, April 30, 2001 1:54 am ET
by ash
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