Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 61 Days and 77459 Haiku later...

the tree loppers came
phloem flew and xylem also
with more yet to go
Haiku # 9392, April 19, 2001 10:27 pm ET
by ash
it's five forty five
i've eaten and i'm at home
feel so much better
Haiku # 9391, April 19, 2001 8:48 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
one time i jerked off
so fast - no shit, really - that
my cock caught on fire
Haiku # 9390, April 19, 2001 7:39 pm ET
by jellyfish
haiku number ten
four pm - boredom sets in
i want to go home
Haiku # 9389, April 19, 2001 6:53 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
and i'd walk around
tell everyone "mazeltov!'
for no good reason
Haiku # 9388, April 19, 2001 6:52 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
if i were german
i would yell, ich brauche dich
and he wouldn't know.
Haiku # 9386, April 19, 2001 6:50 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
he gets free tickets
to everything in this town
but he never goes.
Haiku # 9385, April 19, 2001 6:49 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
he thinks of weight loss
you're not fat, i want to scream
would he listen? no.
Haiku # 9384, April 19, 2001 6:47 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
the school library,
so dark and so gloomy, is
always much too hot.
Haiku # 9383, April 19, 2001 6:46 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
why so sad, ferret?
i wish you would feel better
have a lovely day.
Haiku # 9382, April 19, 2001 6:45 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
if i end up like
my dad - alcoholic, sad -
i will shoot myself
Haiku # 9381, April 19, 2001 6:44 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
i can't stand it when
i'm eating a lollipop
and the stick falls off.
Haiku # 9380, April 19, 2001 6:42 pm ET
by tracy puddle of portland
sitting on toilet
contemplating my penis
shit splashes below

but its no bother
i like the sound of water
peaceful and calming
Haiku # 9379, April 19, 2001 6:05 pm ET
by jellyfish
Haiku # 9378, April 19, 2001 6:03 pm ET
by jellyfish
Haiku # 9377, April 19, 2001 6:03 pm ET
by jellyfish
and while you're at it,
could you please destroy berlin?
germans bother me.
Haiku # 9376, April 19, 2001 6:02 pm ET
by jellyfish a prayer
dear jesus lord god,
i need a blow job so bad.
please send a cute girl.

small tits are o k
and i don't need to fuck her.
do let her swallow.
Haiku # 9375, April 19, 2001 5:50 pm ET
by a prayer from jellyfish
not sure what to do
want to work but i was
prepared for worst
Haiku # 9374, April 19, 2001 5:36 pm ET
by oa
tom robbin's "peach fish".
i couldn't agree any more.
she is delicious.
Haiku # 9373, April 19, 2001 5:03 pm ET
by ap
any morning you
can walk away from unscathed
must be a good one.
Haiku # 9372, April 19, 2001 4:58 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
how much i tried to
be unlike my father, but
others see the same.
Haiku # 9371, April 19, 2001 4:58 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
when the shitrain falls
hide wherever you can hide.
wait for quiet, peace.
Haiku # 9370, April 19, 2001 4:57 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
slam your fist on door.
don't turn and strike in return.
she's too dumb to know.
Haiku # 9369, April 19, 2001 4:56 pm ET
by ferret70 of chiacgo
cannot give you much.
time has eroded my soul.
all i have is tears.
Haiku # 9368, April 19, 2001 4:55 pm ET
by ferret70 of chicago
Rolling on malcom
jaws clenching seratonin
strichnine takes over
Haiku # 9367, April 19, 2001 4:12 pm ET
by Optional
ecstasy at work
makes it hard to concentrate
but my desk feels cool
Haiku # 9366, April 19, 2001 3:56 pm ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
thanks Mellie for
your sympathetic haiku
less melancholy
Haiku # 9365, April 19, 2001 1:50 pm ET
by original annonymous
work through this with me
you are not alone
all i want is joy for your life
Haiku # 9364, April 19, 2001 1:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
don't Anonymous
that made me feel so sad mate
my heart aches for you
Haiku # 9363, April 19, 2001 12:26 pm ET
by mellie
i really broke down
this trouble i'm having now
is breaking my heart
Haiku # 9362, April 19, 2001 12:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
She said to me once,
"Could you not be negative?"
I pondered, said, "No."
Haiku # 9361, April 19, 2001 11:39 am ET
by ferret70 of chicago
It was a woman
Who drove me to drinking. I
Never did thank her.

WC Fields
Haiku # 9360, April 19, 2001 11:16 am ET
by Optional
Richard Hoagland

was it sacrifice?
or insult / elf or gremlin:
spiked thothmosis down

free spirit sass
to setting comet, raising
doubts, orion out.
Haiku # 9359, April 19, 2001 11:01 am ET
by ekpyrotic apoapsis of living in Joe Hill
science is laughed AT
by lab rats of little brane
and those in the know
Haiku # 9358, April 19, 2001 10:46 am ET
by ekpyrotic goo of singularity (hilarity)
She lingers longer
when his cock is longer. In
science we never laugh
Haiku # 9357, April 19, 2001 9:31 am ET
by Optional
he lingers longer
when his ring finger's longer
could be old wive's tale

to assist science
I should volunteer now
to test the theory
Haiku # 9356, April 19, 2001 7:43 am ET
by mellie
swinish behavour
to say the least Ash, pollster
uncomfortable
Haiku # 9355, April 19, 2001 1:11 am ET
by mellie
buchanon for prez -
least votes - played a real Tiger
Woods game - like a pro!
Haiku # 9354, April 18, 2001 11:23 pm ET
by unconceding
over a barrel
porked by a politician
motive not votive
Haiku # 9353, April 18, 2001 10:18 pm ET
by ash
i spit on your beard!
wipe my ass with your guthra!
Change that shit stained thobe!
Haiku # 9352, April 18, 2001 10:13 pm ET
by slomo
humping a headstone
you call that necromancy ?
it's a grave mistake
Haiku # 9351, April 18, 2001 10:11 pm ET
by ash
You think we are lose!
Ha! We got lottsa rocks here!
High tech bus bombs, too!
Haiku # 9350, April 18, 2001 10:03 pm ET
by Yessir are ye' fat?
terrence, not a bit
homophobic - observant
of gay-trek haiku
Haiku # 9349, April 18, 2001 9:58 pm ET
by boo of accept no substitutes
according to punk
baddy's analysis, (he
who eats shit, shits eats)

greedy organic
family farmers are what wrecked
his america.
Haiku # 9348, April 18, 2001 9:53 pm ET
by candy ass of kansas
Fucking shit. Lost my
laudnum. Buy a poor begger
a whiskey, eh mate?
Haiku # 9347, April 18, 2001 9:45 pm ET
by edgar allen poe
Corn? Corn? Don't recall
eating corn. But the contrast
is quite artistic.
Haiku # 9346, April 18, 2001 9:42 pm ET
by ap
Here's boo's finest moment!

"mini skirts glued to breasts:
ah, Sex Trek - prepubescent
queers dream Spock bugs Kirk/* "

Boo wrote this!
True genius. Just a little homophobic.
What's with the fuckin asterisk?
Haiku # 9345, April 18, 2001 9:37 pm ET
by terrance
warm day, went without
panties, backpack lifted skirt
at water fountain^
Haiku # 9344, April 18, 2001 9:32 pm ET
by Miss Everything of true tail
i should be reading
speech by nelson mandella
'stead i'm on the net.
Haiku # 9343, April 18, 2001 9:10 pm ET
by tracy of portland
You're welcome, boo.
Now go get that prick bastard.
I worship you, boo.
Haiku # 9342, April 18, 2001 8:51 pm ET
by terrance
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