Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

well this is a drat
a bother, shows how old we
are facebook a dream
Haiku # 73612, November 15, 2021 8:47 am ET
by vhs of im usually mox too
300 hits to this site each day.
297 are bots.
1 is Janis trying to delete the bot spam.
The others are the only 2 poets posting here under multiple names pretending to be different people.
Haiku # 73611, November 15, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Good job!
If the Axis won,
I bet there'd be no balot
in the Philippines.
Haiku # 73610, November 15, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Even the Nippers aren't that nasty.
Thunderbird, Night Train,
Mad Dog Twenty-Twenty.
Brand name, not vintage.

Vintage ghetto wine.
Now THAT is fucking funny.
Pairs with Velveeta.
Haiku # 73609, November 15, 2021 6:57 am ET
by I Noticed your yellow lips. of OH! That's from crack. Okay.
If the Axis won,
these Russian boner pill ads
could well be poo porn.
Haiku # 73608, November 15, 2021 6:52 am ET
by Things could always be worse.
Beaujolais red wine.
Two-thousand-fifteen is good.
Pairs well with hookers.

And sharp cheddar.
Haiku # 73607, November 15, 2021 6:48 am ET
by Right!
They make the disgusting porn
US frat boy watch.
Haiku # 73605, November 15, 2021 6:42 am ET
by $upply & demand.
Okay, let's talk wine.
That's way more appropriate.
What's your favorite?
Haiku # 73604, November 15, 2021 6:39 am ET
by What's a famous Jewish wine? of "I want to go to Hawaii!"... Oh, I thought you said whine.
I cannot fathom
enjoying being pooed on.
Explain Noticer.
Haiku # 73603, November 15, 2021 6:36 am ET
by What's that do for you?
The sewers are fun.
Did you notice me in the
toilet hole waiting.
Haiku # 73602, November 15, 2021 6:33 am ET
by Oh, wait, no... that's Germany. Maybe Japan. of Why are the WWII axis powers such epic perverts?
He brewed a bad brew
of Hebrew Manischewitz.
Man, it was the shits.
Haiku # 73601, November 15, 2021 6:29 am ET
by vhs... NOT of ;-)
A knock at the door
A single knock followed by
sixteen rapid knocks
Haiku # 73600, November 15, 2021 2:42 am ET
by Salesman of Haiku
Haiku supply chain
The source of all bad haiku
Philippines sewers
Haiku # 73599, November 15, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Eel of Sargasso (source of good haiku)
Just write what you know
Poems about cutting cheese
and blaming the dog
Haiku # 73598, November 15, 2021 1:32 am ET
by Hound of Limburger
I had idea
For epic haiku poem...
But it was garbage.
Haiku # 73597, November 15, 2021 12:04 am ET
by Flash in the Pan
Moxie is a brew.
But is he a hebrew brew?
Or a mere beverage?
Haiku # 73596, November 14, 2021 11:42 pm ET
by Israel of God
Kill the red heifer.
The levitical priesthood.
The law of Moses.
Haiku # 73595, November 14, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Sodom and Egypt of Revelation
Oy veh.. Yom Kippur.
Gefilte fish and matzoh.
Wait for third temple.
Haiku # 73594, November 14, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by The Rebbe of Mendel Schneerson
Ah yeah Darth this Darth
That. ...keep firing assholes, a
Drewish princess? Oi.
Haiku # 73593, November 14, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by Vhs
Darth is a drag queen
Hiding out in Phillipeen.
To hell with his soul.
Haiku # 73592, November 14, 2021 10:47 pm ET
by Unconditional Love of Jeeeebus
Hey Darth: eat your sperm.
We are so tired of you.
Go jerk off again.
Haiku # 73591, November 14, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Into your Sea Monkees tank of Yaaaawwwnnnn....
his last day of life
was spent in our back garden
watching bees at work
Haiku # 73589, November 14, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by scotch of missing someone fuzzy
discreetly shipped to your door
in a cardboard box
Haiku # 73588, November 14, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Jeff Bezos of If it fits, it ships
Thunderbirds are GO!
I used to live for that show.
Don't know Thundercats..
Haiku # 73587, November 14, 2021 1:31 pm ET
by Mummra's Scoutmaster of Gay Olde Time
Indonesian trash:
We took a big load right there.
(Our little servers)
Haiku # 73586, November 14, 2021 1:15 pm ET
by Java Junk of Jakartit Away
Dehydrated jizz
Packaged like cup-o- noodles
without the noodles
Haiku # 73583, November 14, 2021 12:43 pm ET
by Alexa of Sea monkeys jizz factor
If we get famous,
can your little servers take
a big load like that?
Haiku # 73582, November 14, 2021 12:10 pm ET
by Soon I think. Within 3 months.
Much in the same way
we destroyed the Amazon,
it's destroying us.
Haiku # 73581, November 14, 2021 12:07 pm ET
by Oh good! My order of Sea Monkey jizz extract just arrived!
I think Jeff Bezos
is buying up Hawaii.
So, yeah, possible.
Haiku # 73580, November 14, 2021 10:25 am ET
by What would you do if you owned the world? of Start a pandemic?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
Every is TWO syllables.
Don't say "ever-ree".
Haiku # 73579, November 14, 2021 10:23 am ET
by Webster's plaid pants.
fantasy island
i wonder if anyone
asked the caretaker

my fantasy is
to have an island like yours
can you do this sir?
Haiku # 73578, November 14, 2021 10:21 am ET
by vhs of ze plane ze plane!
Scooby Doo is dumb.
Same effing plot every week.
But I'd bang Velma.
Haiku # 73577, November 14, 2021 10:18 am ET
by Right.
"Thundercats!" (times three).
Mummra's homosexual;
still in the closet.
Haiku # 73576, November 14, 2021 10:15 am ET
by Not a very good villain if you ask me. of And such stupid minions.
Did you ever play
Conan the Barbarian;
chopped off your friend's head?
Haiku # 73575, November 14, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Oops! Sorry about little Caleb, Mrs. Davenport. of Sheepishly returning the machete to old Mr. Dixon's tool shed.
Not one mention of
Dr. Who and his tardis
on this whole damn site!
Haiku # 73574, November 14, 2021 10:05 am ET
by ... Just what the hell is a "police box" anyway?!
Back to the Sleestaks.
What if they owned sea monkeys!
What a team they'd make!
Haiku # 73573, November 14, 2021 10:02 am ET
by Bipedal reptiles and brine shrimp overlords! of Better leaders than current world government.
Do you think they'll eat
Thanksgiving dinner if I
put it in their tank?
Haiku # 73572, November 14, 2021 9:58 am ET
by Don't forget the potato salad! of And pumpkin pie.
Sea monkeys are whores.
Pimped out anonymously
by the Jacques Cousteau.
Haiku # 73571, November 14, 2021 9:56 am ET
by I have proof! Bank records! Cashed checks!
I've never seen a
sea monkey spank his monkey
even for money.
Haiku # 73570, November 14, 2021 8:13 am ET
by Magnifying glass obsessions. of Scientific observation, hypothesis, law, theory.
Did you ever wank
to sea monkey comic ads?
The queen's pretty hot.
Haiku # 73569, November 14, 2021 8:04 am ET
by Ain't she though! of
Sleestaks are sexy.
You know you've thought about it.
Bang some reptile strange.
Haiku # 73568, November 14, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Saturday morning couch stains.
You must remember!
You are NOT a sea monkey.
You don't belong there.
Haiku # 73567, November 14, 2021 7:49 am ET
by Stay away from that shrink ray!
I've never seen a
disappointed sea monkey.
They seem so happy.
Haiku # 73566, November 14, 2021 7:47 am ET
by In their little fish bowl kingdom.
YOU'RE the dinosaur
if you watched "Land of the Lost".
Roast your own penis.
Haiku # 73565, November 14, 2021 3:13 am ET
by Chef Mao Sugiyama of Tokyo
I love that one part.
Outside in the cold distance
a wildcat did growl.
Haiku # 73564, November 14, 2021 3:08 am ET
by Two riders were approaching.
Which do you like more,
Hey Joe or The Watchtower?
I'm thinking Hey Joe.
Haiku # 73563, November 14, 2021 3:01 am ET
by Decisions
True North all depends
on where the hell your standing.
Like standing in hell.

True Worth all depends
on how much money you have.
Ask a prostitute.
Haiku # 73562, November 14, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Johnny John-John
The disappointment
of mail order hookers
is kind of like "match"

Haiku # 73561, November 14, 2021 2:44 am ET
by Oh wait, it's the same!
have you ever lost
your bearings to that one who
just throws true north off?
Haiku # 73560, November 13, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by vhs
why is there always
that one asshole, troll or quirk
that hits the button?
Haiku # 73559, November 13, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by vhs
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