duh dee dah dee dee
doe doe, dee bah ditty doe
damn hamsterdance theme...

She just lay twitching
From five men and a fisting
Grandma is so silly

So, all your base are
Belong to us. What you say?
Set up us the bomb.

I don't care about
your ass or what comes out of
it. I like haiku.

Road kill, smashed raccoon.
Maggots writhe, body pulsing
"Someone get me a straw!"

The stench, oh, the stench
I have been depilated
By your ass-borne wind

Gentle, circular
Probing makes me want to- aaah
Never mind. I went.

how dare we ignore
lost youth, my generation.
crap haiku results.

Perched upon my head
a baseball cap rests
making me look like a dumbfuck

The glistening ball
Flies through the air gracefully
From out of my nostril

Soccer ball is kicked,
it bounces my way. I yell
"Hey, This is my head!"

What is best in life?
To hear your lamentation
At my uber-ass.

Squishy parts on path
I walk around the wetness
I have exploded.

okay I know that
bad haiku is not evil;
haiku of crap is

Sudden invasion
Your ungentle, violent ways
Leave me torn again

Regurgitation
Pusy ass inflamation
Ejecta descends

outshined, overdone,
overbaked haiku, crispy,
burnt, better, yum yum!

Ejecta present
Consuming personal space
Where will I sleep now

Evacuation
completed I then begin
masterpiece sculpture

Awake with rumblings
Intestines threaten attack
ahhhh, I evacuate.

you have all outdone
yourselves in submitting this
very bad haiku

Slurping sucking sounds
relief within my bowels
the coleslaw is gone

A thumping sound
Cracks form in the pavement
As I unzip my pants

Scream inside my ass
Echoes return and odors
Know the peace of shit

Fists, eyes clenched tightly
Grit teeth, forget happy place
my ass of fury.

Alone, I sit and wonder
A leaf falls to the ground
On my sister's headless corpse

Things are dripping now
Dangling raw, stretched and throbbing
Explosive entry

Fists, eyes clenched tightly
Grit teeth, forget happy place
my ass of fury.

Watering eyes and nose
shirts pulled over our faces
we laugh at my farts

Stretching your sphincter
Seven inch diamater
Air moving freely

dripping butt fluid
matt just exploded in me
I sigh with pleasure

Ass blasting gibblets
Screaming fecal ejecta
Dripping cattle prod

Philadelphia
smells as though the earth is re-
claiming it. So there.

ugh dermatitis
the skin on my leg is dry
and flaking slightly

I want chicken, I
want liver, meow mix, me-
ow mix, please de-... Shit!

Tommy Biggs Flapjack
this is the name on the mail
thanks to Jeff Diamond

Shit-faced cock masters,
Testicle shitting rectal
warts; filthy cartoons.

retch out my insides
needing craving dramamine
an empty shell. bleh

the chainsaw has stopped
trailer full of broken limbs
trees can grow some more

stripped bare naked stalk
that was a passionfruit vine
wild hailstorm damage

pink cherry flower
rain rocks beat it to the ground
wet day in the morning

I did not like Cabin Boy
The Dirty Whore was funny
Monkey sketch was dumb

r.e.m. is a
band; rem is a stage of sleep:
professor's wisdom

polypropelyn
gortex, bombproof boots, ice axe,
black dog, we're out!....Woof!

cabin boy, chris
elliot, great; wanna buy
a monkey? funny

going for a walk,
soft rainy spring afternoon,
mountain trees catch clouds

r.e.m.- really
effete men? i like them too.
they sound tired though

i enjoy music.
i like r.e.m. they're good.
better than you are.

I saw Cabin Boy
It is a crappy movie
Please do not rent cabin boy