magnatized butt plug,
my polarized ass compass
swings me to the north.

It's provocation
Ash. They are at their wit's end.
Most out of their wits.

anonymous man,
farting in my face at night.
hungry for egg rolls.

shut up kids, and dog!
cats cumin' thru hole in floor.
i love my dad lots.

A horse's penis?
Those things are so fucking big!
They get back problems?

Will mood rings come back?
I loved those fucking things, man!
Bring those mood rings back!!!

Shotguns, shotguns bang
The irish boy hits the floor
No more Tequila

Gazing in the stall
I see someone who's not me
Damn ladies washrooms

Work can suck my balls
Boss is on my back all day
I need a shotgun

some are amusing
electronic grafitti
some are just spillage

six new screens a day
can't you send e-mail instead ?
bad bulletin board

start your own website
considering locations
call it "grunge haiku"

taking that further
you deserve your own spinoff
to wit: "worse haiku"

make it more funny
make it more thought provoking
make it go away

indiscriminate
what they lack in quality
made up by volume

I am the Bull God
Respect my Authority
Where are you going?

It is Saint Pat's Day
Really think I should be drunk
Driving friends sucks

those airborne herpes
enlisted in the army
to shoot at you dicks

Pus isn't that bad
You just have to close your eyes
Tastes good on a Ritz

Pink silver dollar
Jesus Christ they are bigger
Than my dinner plates!

sexy movies on...
lovin and kinky clothes, my
chaps stick and chapstick

I had a cup cake
It was green with white frosting
Fuck St. Patrick's Day

Comin' down the stretch!
but not the way you're thinkin'---
They're horse whores, humpin!

Pancakes are real good
My sister likes hers with snot
She is adopted

it aint no fable,
Father goose needs lovin too
Come here mother goose....

If you braid it right
It's like Play Dough Factory
When I take a shit!

When I'm standing up,
ants like to repel down me
using navel lint

Rock, Paper, Scissors
Fuck you! Damn it all to hell
Why did I pick Rock

Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah fuck you

Walmart is real big.
I went in there one time and
got lost in housewares

Man I need a drink
Because it is St. Pat's Day
And my name is Pat

campy railer bitch
would have nailed him, too, had I
not just exploded

I got a gold chain
My Mr. T Starter Kit
Santa must like me

Silly gibbled turkey
Timmy loved you like a friend
He called you "Gobbles!!!"

Crud between my toes.
Lick it? no. Spread it on bread
with peanut butter!!

Give me the salt please
I need to kill this bastard
Snails are good to eat

Lush, fresh, bright green grass
Lay down on it, or smoke it
Lush, fresh, bright green grass

I have a rocket
powered bottom and i shoot
crap and crack the john

Dirty stank ass hos
Why do they look like your mom?
Man they frighten me

You is such a ho
I ought to back kick you in
The teeth...yous a ho

perception of red
a figment of diseased minds
I'm gonna be sick

dough white 'cracker'
from red deer 'is it red dear?';
light my fart alberta

like a cat. tied to
a stick. that's driven into
frozen winter shit.

bullshit jack!! they are
chained by their genes they must
return to mama

"What The Fuck?" Cam'ra
For those "What The Fuck!!!" moments
Cah-leeck!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!

Guess what I found out?
Your mom spends her dough on crack
You mom's a crackho

I do not know why
my lips are so goddamned dry
I need chapstick 'ere

Chupracabra: the
syllables flow smoothly, like
innards from a goat.

turkey, chicken, ham
it is very good to eat.
eat that turkey up.

worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave

potato salad
polyester leisure suit
i can roll in both