Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 65 Days and 77462 Haiku later...

Crud between my toes.
Lick it? no. Spread it on bread
with peanut butter!!
Haiku # 7230, March 17, 2001 10:32 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
Give me the salt please
I need to kill this bastard
Snails are good to eat
Haiku # 7229, March 17, 2001 10:30 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Lush, fresh, bright green grass
Lay down on it, or smoke it
Lush, fresh, bright green grass
Haiku # 7228, March 17, 2001 10:29 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
I have a rocket
powered bottom and i shoot
crap and crack the john
Haiku # 7227, March 17, 2001 10:27 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
Dirty stank ass hos
Why do they look like your mom?
Man they frighten me
Haiku # 7226, March 17, 2001 10:26 pm ET
by Pat of Canada
You is such a ho
I ought to back kick you in
The teeth...yous a ho
Haiku # 7225, March 17, 2001 10:17 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, Ab, Canada
perception of red
a figment of diseased minds
I'm gonna be sick
Haiku # 7224, March 17, 2001 10:15 pm ET
by stack riot
dough white 'cracker'
from red deer 'is it red dear?';
light my fart alberta
Haiku # 7223, March 17, 2001 10:11 pm ET
by oh YA you're a homeboy
like a cat. tied to
a stick. that's driven into
frozen winter shit.
Haiku # 7222, March 17, 2001 10:09 pm ET
by stack riot
bullshit jack!! they are
chained by their genes they must
return to mama
Haiku # 7221, March 17, 2001 10:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"What The Fuck?" Cam'ra
For those "What The Fuck!!!" moments
Cah-leeck!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Haiku # 7220, March 17, 2001 10:07 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, AB, Canada
Guess what I found out?
Your mom spends her dough on crack
You mom's a crackho
Haiku # 7219, March 17, 2001 10:05 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, AB, Canada
I do not know why
my lips are so goddamned dry
I need chapstick 'ere
Haiku # 7218, March 17, 2001 10:02 pm ET
by yah man of Boston
Chupracabra: the
syllables flow smoothly, like
innards from a goat.
Haiku # 7217, March 17, 2001 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Navarro, CA
turkey, chicken, ham
it is very good to eat.
eat that turkey up.
Haiku # 7216, March 17, 2001 8:40 pm ET
by precurser
worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave
Haiku # 7215, March 17, 2001 8:20 pm ET
by Jack of Here
potato salad
polyester leisure suit
i can roll in both
Haiku # 7214, March 17, 2001 8:19 pm ET
by Jack of Here
children will laugh, cry
Haiku # 7213, March 17, 2001 8:18 pm ET
by Jack of Here
depression is not
very nice if you're in space,
you might burst - kersplat!
Haiku # 7212, March 17, 2001 6:39 pm ET
by Phil
Do donkeys eat crisps?
Using their hooves like man's hands?
Am I a donkey?
Haiku # 7211, March 17, 2001 6:21 pm ET
by Phil
My trousers hurt me.
Is it because they want to?
What have I done to them?
Haiku # 7210, March 17, 2001 6:11 pm ET
by Phil
Golden is the dawn
Warm bodies twist in damp sheets
I wake beside you
Haiku # 7209, March 17, 2001 6:10 pm ET
by D of dublin
Nagging pain in hole,
My piles demand I obtain,
Preparation H.
Haiku # 7208, March 17, 2001 6:08 pm ET
by loki of under the cleanroom
Jokingly I laughed,
While knowing perfectly well
That my face was broken.
Haiku # 7207, March 17, 2001 6:08 pm ET
by Phil
The tourists wonder
The streets look really empty
Epidemic Land
Haiku # 7206, March 17, 2001 6:08 pm ET
by bary of Dublin
There is no parade
It's the Foot and Mouth Disease
I'm drunk anyway
Haiku # 7205, March 17, 2001 6:06 pm ET
by Bary of Dublin
i am going to
kick your ass so hard that you
will go flying far.
Haiku # 7204, March 17, 2001 5:22 pm ET
by Josh Delman of New York
I got up and went
nowhere in particular
just drifting along
Haiku # 7203, March 17, 2001 4:50 pm ET
by mellie, Hey Matt
sleepy Sunday sex
sizzling bacon squeezing juice
another hot day
Haiku # 7202, March 17, 2001 4:47 pm ET
by mellie
the weekend seems to
be a slow haiku time so
I'll submit no more
Haiku # 7201, March 17, 2001 3:10 pm ET
by hola of NOT DRINKING YET
I'm such a loser
I missed the parade because
I'm such a loser
Haiku # 7200, March 17, 2001 3:00 pm ET
by hola of at the library! Cool!
fresh out of batt'ries
but we're still making noise make-
ing noi-oi-oi-oise
Haiku # 7199, March 17, 2001 2:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
dial-up to connect
with the internet is not
good. Cable's better.
Haiku # 7198, March 17, 2001 11:57 am ET
by hola of here..right here
Goin to the pa-
rade to hang out with all the
other drunken fools
Haiku # 7197, March 17, 2001 11:56 am ET
by hola of down the pike from thegrue
Haiku # 7196, March 17, 2001 11:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tis St. patty's Day
I am not drunk yet, but plan
on it later.. beer
Haiku # 7195, March 17, 2001 11:51 am ET
by hola of home, the same city as thegrue
if i had a horse
i would not be writing these.
t'is good there's no horse!
Haiku # 7194, March 17, 2001 11:45 am ET
by thegrue of away
composition's hard.
but not as hard as waking
up in the morning.
Haiku # 7193, March 17, 2001 11:44 am ET
by thegrue of a desk
addiction's cold hand
leads me to desire cocaine--
safer than haiku!
Haiku # 7192, March 17, 2001 11:43 am ET
by thegrue of here
robert smith, the cure.
inspiration for better
poetry than this.
Haiku # 7191, March 17, 2001 11:43 am ET
by thegrue of somewhere around the bend
saturday morning.
we must all turn towards life
occasionally.
Haiku # 7190, March 17, 2001 11:42 am ET
by thegrue of saturday
saturday morning
and i am not drunk. t'is sad.
tragedy, indeed.
Haiku # 7189, March 17, 2001 11:41 am ET
by thegrue of in the same city as hola
saturday morning
i need so much damn coffee
to open my eyes
Haiku # 7188, March 17, 2001 11:16 am ET
by VerbaLizer of NYC
Slartibartfast
They'll always out do me
And thank God, some of
these poems are damn fun!
Haiku # 7187, March 17, 2001 10:59 am ET
by Moxie of seriously
Intensity long distance run around
came around saw nothing
nothing is satan
Haiku # 7186, March 17, 2001 10:58 am ET
by Moxie
This place is funny
Someone called themselves thegrue
Funny like burning
Haiku # 7185, March 17, 2001 10:38 am ET
by Jarvitron of of MANCHUA
I drive a Corvair
Because it was very cheap
But I don't get laid
Haiku # 7184, March 17, 2001 10:37 am ET
by Jarvitron of of MANCHUA
You smell like cabbage
That's been rotting for a week
In a perfume store
Haiku # 7183, March 17, 2001 10:36 am ET
by Jarvitron of of MANCHUA
I am pait well but
My job is unrewarding
And somehow this is
Haiku # 7182, March 17, 2001 10:35 am ET
by Jarvitron of of MANCHUA
My bladder pressure
So high after eight Keystones
I chip porcelain
Haiku # 7181, March 17, 2001 10:34 am ET
by Jarvitron of of MANCHUA
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