Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 65 Days and 77462 Haiku later...

Gazing in the stall
I see someone who's not me
Damn ladies washrooms
Haiku # 7256, March 18, 2001 12:18 am ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
Work can suck my balls
Boss is on my back all day
I need a shotgun
Haiku # 7255, March 18, 2001 12:13 am ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
some are amusing
electronic grafitti
some are just spillage
Haiku # 7254, March 17, 2001 11:46 pm ET
by ash
six new screens a day
can't you send e-mail instead ?
bad bulletin board
Haiku # 7253, March 17, 2001 11:44 pm ET
by ash
start your own website
considering locations
call it "grunge haiku"

taking that further
you deserve your own spinoff
to wit: "worse haiku"
Haiku # 7252, March 17, 2001 11:42 pm ET
by ash
make it more funny
make it more thought provoking
make it go away
Haiku # 7251, March 17, 2001 11:37 pm ET
by ash
indiscriminate
what they lack in quality
made up by volume
Haiku # 7250, March 17, 2001 11:33 pm ET
by ash
I am the Bull God
Respect my Authority
Where are you going?
Haiku # 7249, March 17, 2001 11:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It is Saint Pat's Day
Really think I should be drunk
Driving friends sucks
Haiku # 7248, March 17, 2001 11:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
those airborne herpes
enlisted in the army
to shoot at you dicks
Haiku # 7247, March 17, 2001 11:03 pm ET
by the fourth way of seattle
Pus isn't that bad
You just have to close your eyes
Tastes good on a Ritz
Haiku # 7246, March 17, 2001 11:02 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Pink silver dollar
Jesus Christ they are bigger
Than my dinner plates!
Haiku # 7245, March 17, 2001 11:00 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
sexy movies on...
lovin and kinky clothes, my
chaps stick and chapstick
Haiku # 7244, March 17, 2001 10:57 pm ET
by the fourth way of seattle
I had a cup cake
It was green with white frosting
Fuck St. Patrick's Day
Haiku # 7243, March 17, 2001 10:55 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Comin' down the stretch!
but not the way you're thinkin'---
They're horse whores, humpin!
Haiku # 7242, March 17, 2001 10:53 pm ET
by the fourth way of seattle
Pancakes are real good
My sister likes hers with snot
She is adopted
Haiku # 7241, March 17, 2001 10:49 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
it aint no fable,
Father goose needs lovin too
Come here mother goose....
Haiku # 7240, March 17, 2001 10:46 pm ET
by the fourth way of seattle
If you braid it right
It's like Play Dough Factory
When I take a shit!
Haiku # 7239, March 17, 2001 10:44 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
When I'm standing up,
ants like to repel down me
using navel lint
Haiku # 7238, March 17, 2001 10:42 pm ET
by the fourth way of seattle
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Fuck you! Damn it all to hell
Why did I pick Rock
Haiku # 7237, March 17, 2001 10:42 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah fuck you
Haiku # 7236, March 17, 2001 10:41 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
Walmart is real big.
I went in there one time and
got lost in housewares
Haiku # 7235, March 17, 2001 10:40 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
Man I need a drink
Because it is St. Pat's Day
And my name is Pat
Haiku # 7234, March 17, 2001 10:37 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
campy railer bitch
would have nailed him, too, had I
not just exploded
Haiku # 7233, March 17, 2001 10:36 pm ET
by stack riot
I got a gold chain
My Mr. T Starter Kit
Santa must like me
Haiku # 7232, March 17, 2001 10:36 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Silly gibbled turkey
Timmy loved you like a friend
He called you "Gobbles!!!"
Haiku # 7231, March 17, 2001 10:35 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
Crud between my toes.
Lick it? no. Spread it on bread
with peanut butter!!
Haiku # 7230, March 17, 2001 10:32 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
Give me the salt please
I need to kill this bastard
Snails are good to eat
Haiku # 7229, March 17, 2001 10:30 pm ET
by Punky Brewster of Michigan
Lush, fresh, bright green grass
Lay down on it, or smoke it
Lush, fresh, bright green grass
Haiku # 7228, March 17, 2001 10:29 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer
I have a rocket
powered bottom and i shoot
crap and crack the john
Haiku # 7227, March 17, 2001 10:27 pm ET
by The Fourth Way of seattle
Dirty stank ass hos
Why do they look like your mom?
Man they frighten me
Haiku # 7226, March 17, 2001 10:26 pm ET
by Pat of Canada
You is such a ho
I ought to back kick you in
The teeth...yous a ho
Haiku # 7225, March 17, 2001 10:17 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, Ab, Canada
perception of red
a figment of diseased minds
I'm gonna be sick
Haiku # 7224, March 17, 2001 10:15 pm ET
by stack riot
dough white 'cracker'
from red deer 'is it red dear?';
light my fart alberta
Haiku # 7223, March 17, 2001 10:11 pm ET
by oh YA you're a homeboy
like a cat. tied to
a stick. that's driven into
frozen winter shit.
Haiku # 7222, March 17, 2001 10:09 pm ET
by stack riot
bullshit jack!! they are
chained by their genes they must
return to mama
Haiku # 7221, March 17, 2001 10:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"What The Fuck?" Cam'ra
For those "What The Fuck!!!" moments
Cah-leeck!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Haiku # 7220, March 17, 2001 10:07 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, AB, Canada
Guess what I found out?
Your mom spends her dough on crack
You mom's a crackho
Haiku # 7219, March 17, 2001 10:05 pm ET
by Pat N. of Red Deer, AB, Canada
I do not know why
my lips are so goddamned dry
I need chapstick 'ere
Haiku # 7218, March 17, 2001 10:02 pm ET
by yah man of Boston
Chupracabra: the
syllables flow smoothly, like
innards from a goat.
Haiku # 7217, March 17, 2001 9:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Navarro, CA
turkey, chicken, ham
it is very good to eat.
eat that turkey up.
Haiku # 7216, March 17, 2001 8:40 pm ET
by precurser
worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave
Haiku # 7215, March 17, 2001 8:20 pm ET
by Jack of Here
potato salad
polyester leisure suit
i can roll in both
Haiku # 7214, March 17, 2001 8:19 pm ET
by Jack of Here
children will laugh, cry
Haiku # 7213, March 17, 2001 8:18 pm ET
by Jack of Here
depression is not
very nice if you're in space,
you might burst - kersplat!
Haiku # 7212, March 17, 2001 6:39 pm ET
by Phil
Do donkeys eat crisps?
Using their hooves like man's hands?
Am I a donkey?
Haiku # 7211, March 17, 2001 6:21 pm ET
by Phil
My trousers hurt me.
Is it because they want to?
What have I done to them?
Haiku # 7210, March 17, 2001 6:11 pm ET
by Phil
Golden is the dawn
Warm bodies twist in damp sheets
I wake beside you
Haiku # 7209, March 17, 2001 6:10 pm ET
by D of dublin
Nagging pain in hole,
My piles demand I obtain,
Preparation H.
Haiku # 7208, March 17, 2001 6:08 pm ET
by loki of under the cleanroom
Jokingly I laughed,
While knowing perfectly well
That my face was broken.
Haiku # 7207, March 17, 2001 6:08 pm ET
by Phil
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