I must obey now.
I am remotely programmed.
I must write haiku.
by C.I.A. Mind Control Experiment of HAIKU
She's putting on airs.
My sex doll's full of herself.
She's blowing me off.
by Spurned of Inflationary Sexonomics
Prithee my good man,
Scribe some immortal verses.
Make them about cheese.
by Emmentaler Stilton of Roquefort
Viva la cumbia!
Mejor onda musical.
Que bailen todos.
by El Mexicano Perdido of Wound Up Here
Employees wanted
Full time. Clean rental sex dolls.
Exp. scrubbing hardened cheese
by Jack of Monterey
It's a haiku high:
Greatest of euphorias.
Just count syllables.
Make sure your subject
Is morally upright, pure...
Like Figpucker's verse.
by Haiku Review Board of Family-friendly Content
It's just a lamprey
Really, it's just your penis
having a bad day
Bouquet of flowers
12 chocolate dipped strawberries
A gift for your schlong
Change your attitude
It's the little things that count
Practice gratitude
It may sound far out
Or a little bit woo woo
Do unto your dink
by As you'd like done to you of Semen on the mount
They invented what,
Haiku? I don't get your point...
It's a Jap thing, no?
by Delirium of the Orient
Do you suppose that
the Chinese invented this
like they did covid?
by Stay out of Chinese owned restaurants.
Something bit my arm.
The infection keeps growing.
It's starting to sing.
But it has no mouth
into which I can put my...
well, you know what.
Have I discovered
a sentient leprosy
or am I crazy?
by I'll see the leprosy doctor on Monday. of It can wait... Or maybe I'll take it for singing lessons.
Bologna's awesome.
You can do fun things with it.
And it's so healthy.
It has a first name.
And it has a second name.
Not Oscar Mayer.
After it has died
it's name is Robert Paulson.
Help me bury him.
by It's name is Robert Paulson. It's name is Robert Paulson. of It's name is Robert Paulson. It's name is Robert Paulson.
I loved Donald Trump.
Sexy, the best president,
and he was so orange.
by A good president should be orange. of And play golf.
Sun is out. Sky is blue.
Sailing in a cunt canoe
Have a fish or two
Fur exterior
Welcoming interior
Ride Superior
by Fly Fishing of Field and Streaming XXX
The Museum of Farts
Fart Hologram Laser Show
McFartnald's Restaurant on site
by The art of farting around
The hell wrong with you?
Asleep other side of world?
WAKE UP and HAIKU !!!!!
by International Date-line of Dating Site
Oh! Unh, unh, oh yeah.
Hunh, hunh, oh, do you like that?
UNGH! Oh God yeah. Oh!
by Porno Haiku of L.A. Film Set
Trump was so much fun.
Just mentioning him irked you.
So it was worth it.
by Mitch McConnel's Turkey of Give Thanks for Stuffing
Paula White, preacher.
Trump's right hand "Christian" woman.
She's a heretic.
by Ignatius Torquemada of Dallas Theological Mental Hospital
First five syllables
How's your day going so far?
Five more syllables
by Noticer
When I answer them,
"... A nuclear holocaust.?"
they think I'm crazy.
by What, you can't start a nuclear war? of What kind of barista are you?!
I hate hearing it.
It makes me want to vomit.
Glad I don't work there.
by "What can I get started for you." of 1000 times a day.
*Rich ppl.... not Rick ppl.
by Ewe gnu that i'm shure
As a company
Starbucks isn't all that bad.
Just their product sucks.
by Rick ppl are stupid. of Charge them above average prices and kiss their ass and they feel special.
It's very much like
spice in the Renaissance times,
hides rotten meat taste.
by Or MSG in the Philippines.
What they don't tell you
when you visit a Starbucks
is the following:
The added flavors
and sugar are to disguise
the horrible taste.
by Truth!
Tim Horton's Coffee.
It tastes the way coffee should;
Not like burnt dog shit!
by Take heed Starbucks, take heed.
I'm not against gays,
but pumpkin spice latte... no!
That's too gay for me.
by Starbucks has shitty coffee anyway. of Tim Hortons is way better for just regular old coffee.
You are so tatooed.
You are obviously gay.
You are SOOOO hot, girl.
by Tatoo You of Fire Island
No tattoos on me
The other poets might be
You know, to look tough
by Haikuvenile Delinquent of Throwing rocks
I don't do tattoo.
I heard tattoos make you gay.
Pumpkin spice latte.
I once walked in on an all male orgy in a hotel. I thought that was the most gay thing I could ever see until I heard of pumpkin spice latte. Nothing is more gay than that. Unless it's a tattoo of pumpkin spice latte! That would be super gay!
by Airborne HIV is around the corner.
Are they cat bean toes?
Meow hooman calculator
Meow always counting
by Henrietta Pussycat of Land of make my make believe believe in me
You ever thought of tattooing a haiku
somewhere there on you?
by Anonymous Poet
Spoiled westerners
Whining about their problems.
Go to South Sudan.
by John Garang of Eternity
Cancel October
Frost on the orange toad stool
Razorblade candy
Your exact likeness
carved into a cold log of
German Bologna
by Tony Baloney of Weighing my member at the truck stop ( Hoooooonk 10-4)
Oh! It's October.
There's not much chill, but still the
ghosts come out to play.
by Some friendly, some not.
"Mommy, mommy! What's
S & M?" the young boy asked.
"Beats me!" smiled his mom.
by
How many bean does
it take for the right amount?
Just two thirty-nine!
by 'Cause if you add one more, it's too farty!
What's a cow called that
just gave birth to her baby?
De-calf-inated!
by That's mom, not me.
Grapes, oranges, apples,
watermelon, mangoes, limes,
durian and rum.
by Orange ya' glad I didn't say banana!
Remote garage door.
High resolutions TV.
Toilet that flushes.
A working ice box.
Utilities that stay on.
And a useless pet.
by
Not sure if it's true.
Clouds float by like they're lazy.
Possible I guess.
by
Comfy shoes are nice.
Barefoot's good too in summer.
Socks are important.
by
I have a black pen.
Sometimes I write things with it.
Other times, I don't.
by
A note from the desk
which is covered with fungus
Not mushroom to work
by Weed Smokepuffer of Puffcific Northwest
Gamma-ray lasers
are impossible to build
according to some.
by Should we believe them? of Hulk smash!!!
One two three for five.
And six seven eight nine ten.
I'm getting turned on.
by Did you ever have an Erector Set? of Showing my age again.
A silly bull slipped.
Like when I leave my fly down.
It's an accident!
by I swears occifer! of Incandescent exposure. Or something.
I don't like numbers.
Unless they are high and dancing.
Or transcendental.
by e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e of That's how much money I want.
As far as I know
It's just like every where else
Meth heads and junkies
Got my own problems
Like worrying about when
I'll get more haiku
by Cat of Pussific NW
Are your parents proud.
I can proudly say mine aren't.
They made this monster.
by Torture chamber nursery. of The rack left stretch marks.
