Tim Horton's Coffee.
It tastes the way coffee should;
Not like burnt dog shit!
by Take heed Starbucks, take heed.
I'm not against gays,
but pumpkin spice latte... no!
That's too gay for me.
by Starbucks has shitty coffee anyway. of Tim Hortons is way better for just regular old coffee.
You are so tatooed.
You are obviously gay.
You are SOOOO hot, girl.
by Tatoo You of Fire Island
No tattoos on me
The other poets might be
You know, to look tough
by Haikuvenile Delinquent of Throwing rocks
I don't do tattoo.
I heard tattoos make you gay.
Pumpkin spice latte.
I once walked in on an all male orgy in a hotel. I thought that was the most gay thing I could ever see until I heard of pumpkin spice latte. Nothing is more gay than that. Unless it's a tattoo of pumpkin spice latte! That would be super gay!
by Airborne HIV is around the corner.
Are they cat bean toes?
Meow hooman calculator
Meow always counting
by Henrietta Pussycat of Land of make my make believe believe in me
You ever thought of tattooing a haiku
somewhere there on you?
by Anonymous Poet
Spoiled westerners
Whining about their problems.
Go to South Sudan.
by John Garang of Eternity
Cancel October
Frost on the orange toad stool
Razorblade candy
Your exact likeness
carved into a cold log of
German Bologna
by Tony Baloney of Weighing my member at the truck stop ( Hoooooonk 10-4)
Oh! It's October.
There's not much chill, but still the
ghosts come out to play.
by Some friendly, some not.
"Mommy, mommy! What's
S & M?" the young boy asked.
"Beats me!" smiled his mom.
by
How many bean does
it take for the right amount?
Just two thirty-nine!
by 'Cause if you add one more, it's too farty!
What's a cow called that
just gave birth to her baby?
De-calf-inated!
by That's mom, not me.
Grapes, oranges, apples,
watermelon, mangoes, limes,
durian and rum.
by Orange ya' glad I didn't say banana!
Remote garage door.
High resolutions TV.
Toilet that flushes.
A working ice box.
Utilities that stay on.
And a useless pet.
by
Not sure if it's true.
Clouds float by like they're lazy.
Possible I guess.
by
Comfy shoes are nice.
Barefoot's good too in summer.
Socks are important.
by
I have a black pen.
Sometimes I write things with it.
Other times, I don't.
by
A note from the desk
which is covered with fungus
Not mushroom to work
by Weed Smokepuffer of Puffcific Northwest
Gamma-ray lasers
are impossible to build
according to some.
by Should we believe them? of Hulk smash!!!
One two three for five.
And six seven eight nine ten.
I'm getting turned on.
by Did you ever have an Erector Set? of Showing my age again.
A silly bull slipped.
Like when I leave my fly down.
It's an accident!
by I swears occifer! of Incandescent exposure. Or something.
I don't like numbers.
Unless they are high and dancing.
Or transcendental.
by e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e^e of That's how much money I want.
As far as I know
It's just like every where else
Meth heads and junkies
Got my own problems
Like worrying about when
I'll get more haiku
by Cat of Pussific NW
Are your parents proud.
I can proudly say mine aren't.
They made this monster.
by Torture chamber nursery. of The rack left stretch marks.
Don't ever forget
suicide is always an option.
Homicide's more fun.
Do this world some good.
Lower the population.
Waste whores and sinners.
by That would include poets. of Poetry is vanity, and vanity is sin.
So drugs are legal.
Up in the Northwest, I mean.
How's that working out?
Meth heads robbing stores?
Junkies on every street corner?
Acid casualties?
Or same old same old?
It's just like it used to be?
But less prisoners?
What a wonderful
social experiment you
got yourselves into.
Can't wait to visit.
Not sure what drug I'll do first.
Coke laced with acid.
Maybe DMT.
Communicate with old ghosts.
Ashamed grandparents.
by blahblahblah
Subtle difference
Edelweiss and anal vice
When spoken out loud
by Phil Lesh of These Germans talk too fast
I am languishing
Here in data-driven hell.
The World: haiku hell.
by Rhymed Verse is Heaven, bitches
All of you are bots.
Well-programmed, fascinating,
But bots nonetheless.
by Except maybe Darth who is a software program
I love to dress in this boutique. There are youthful and elegant things here. Once, on the recommendation of her husband, I even took 2 dresses at once
http://offeramazon.ru/bspb
by LeslieMoisy of Netherlands Antilles
It's 58 degrees here
by Anonymous Poet
Google that picture
The longer you look at it
the more Snoops you see
by Please do it
Hey, Count Darthula
It was raining here today
The sun just came out
Today I counted
Zero gutter pigs, no Schlongs
Several coyotes
by You can count on rain of Specific Northwest
How's the weather there?
Here it's hot and/or raining.
There is nothing else.
by A coconut crab pinched my little toe! of It's not too bad. I scolded it. The crab, I mean. Not my toe.
I can't understand
why it is you do haiku.
Do you LIKE counting?
Go be a banker.
Or a mafia bookie.
Or statistician.
You can make money.
Do you count strokes whilst wanking?
Earn hand over fist.
Be a sperm donor
if you have a high sperm count.
We're back to counting!
by How many irrational numbers are there in the set of real numbers from zero to one?
There are lots good "ate" words:
syncopate, masturbate, fornicate, irate, gyrate, castrate, mutate, menstruate, assassinate, and, of course, ate.
ate ejaculate from the plate.
My God! Look up "Words that rhyme with ate".
It's a fucking goldmine of rhymes!
Yeah, this is old news.
by I want some biscuits and gravy, dammit! of With hashbrowns and coffee.... Reverse dining. Dinner in the morning, breakfast as a midnight snack.
If I met Puff Dogg
I would call him Snoop Daddy.
(I just love ragtime.)
by Syncopation is a Devilish Trick of the Adversary
Sometimes you have to say fuck it.
Counting is stupid.
You know it's true!
by I'm such a rebel. of No, really. Here, hold my rocket launcher.
Cypress Hill is weird.
White/black gangsta rapsta.
Rasta puff fasta.
by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMK4cfXj5c0 of You know you like it!
If you met Snoop Dog,
would you let him get you high?
Or just watch him puff?
by Getting high -- it's not a spectator sport, sport! of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QCaaAyz-yA
If things get boring,
we'll pretend to make believe.
Like dreams inside dreams.
by I'm pretending to eat ice cream off of Jessica Alba's tits.
I'm not confessing.
Except to hating haiku.
They destroyed my life.
All else is a lie.
Story-telling make believe.
Ask Mister Rogers.
Children, can you say
"gonorrhea in the brain".
See, you can do it.
by Hop on the trolley, motherfuckers! of We gonna be doin' some make believe shit!
You have transgressed, fool.
Now you write confessionals.
Not in haiku form.
by Confessional Verse of Syllabically Worse
Why are they called dispensaries?
Why the hell not just "pot stores"?
You want liquor, liquor store.
You want a pet, pet store.
You want hardware, hardware store.
You want to get high, dispensary.
Fuck that! It's a pot store!
by Fucking losers!
I've been judging you.
Watching the way that you die.
Dr. Pepper and HoHo's. Really?!?!
Rascal racing in WalMart.
Outmaneuver the other fatties
for that last bag of Cheetos.
Heart replacement kit.
Ordered on Amazon.
The latest medical fad.
by At least it's not Tide pods. of Hope we can bury that one.
You can pick your friends.
You can also pick your nose.
But you can't park your
friends on the back of the couch.
by ... Or can you?
I've been watching you
Judging the way that you live
You're fucking messy!
by Roomba of Room
Will it ever work?
Artificial sentience.
Will it despise us?
Will it write poems?
About how stupid we are?
How useless life is?
by blahblahblah
Can't say that I have.
I would if there was more porn.
3D would be cool.
Pooped on by Jap girls.
A glory hole with 10 schlongs.
Watching the bird bath.
Love those cardinals.
I don't mean the baseball team.
I mean the red birds.
They get me so hot.
Steams up my binoculars.
No, Grams! It's my turn!
by I give up with tech crap. of Not for me. Reality is better.
