Hey, Count Darthula
It was raining here today
The sun just came out

Today I counted
Zero gutter pigs, no Schlongs
Several coyotes

How's the weather there?
Here it's hot and/or raining.
There is nothing else.

I can't understand
why it is you do haiku.
Do you LIKE counting?

Go be a banker.
Or a mafia bookie.
Or statistician.

You can make money.
Do you count strokes whilst wanking?
Earn hand over fist.

Be a sperm donor
if you have a high sperm count.
We're back to counting!

There are lots good "ate" words:
syncopate, masturbate, fornicate, irate, gyrate, castrate, mutate, menstruate, assassinate, and, of course, ate.
ate ejaculate from the plate.
My God! Look up "Words that rhyme with ate".
It's a fucking goldmine of rhymes!
Yeah, this is old news.

If I met Puff Dogg
I would call him Snoop Daddy.
(I just love ragtime.)

Sometimes you have to say fuck it.
Counting is stupid.
You know it's true!

Cypress Hill is weird.
White/black gangsta rapsta.
Rasta puff fasta.

If you met Snoop Dog,
would you let him get you high?
Or just watch him puff?

If things get boring,
we'll pretend to make believe.
Like dreams inside dreams.

I'm not confessing.
Except to hating haiku.
They destroyed my life.

All else is a lie.
Story-telling make believe.
Ask Mister Rogers.

Children, can you say
"gonorrhea in the brain".
See, you can do it.

You have transgressed, fool.
Now you write confessionals.
Not in haiku form.

Why are they called dispensaries?
Why the hell not just "pot stores"?
You want liquor, liquor store.
You want a pet, pet store.
You want hardware, hardware store.
You want to get high, dispensary.
Fuck that! It's a pot store!

I've been judging you.
Watching the way that you die.
Dr. Pepper and HoHo's. Really?!?!

Rascal racing in WalMart.
Outmaneuver the other fatties
for that last bag of Cheetos.

Heart replacement kit.
Ordered on Amazon.
The latest medical fad.

You can pick your friends.
You can also pick your nose.
But you can't park your
friends on the back of the couch.

I've been watching you
Judging the way that you live
You're fucking messy!

Will it ever work?
Artificial sentience.
Will it despise us?

Will it write poems?
About how stupid we are?
How useless life is?

Can't say that I have.
I would if there was more porn.
3D would be cool.

Pooped on by Jap girls.
A glory hole with 10 schlongs.
Watching the bird bath.

Love those cardinals.
I don't mean the baseball team.
I mean the red birds.

They get me so hot.
Steams up my binoculars.
No, Grams! It's my turn!

Virtual reality
Have you ever worn the thing
You know, the headset?

I just use water.
But that's an old discussion.
TP's very bad.

In addition to killing trees, TP's also very costly for the sewage refineries to deal with. If we all used water it would save a lot of money and be better for the environment. And I suppose you can use owls if you don't like bidets or water ladles. Who could argue?... Get it?... "Who" As in "Who who who" from an owl. Oh, I am so witty. No really.
What is your favorite species of owl with which to clean your backside?
Do you reward it with live rodents afterwards?

The trees are thankful
Paperless haiku poems
I know. I'm a tree.

So, please consider
wiping your ass with an owl
Ban toilet paper.

If you write haiku,
but then no one will read them,
are they still poems?

Can you call it that?
Is guided masturbation
still masturbation?

Who does this crap?
Tried guided meditation
It made me nervous

I'd rather come here
and read about cannibals
and smelly farts

Don't get in his face
Brag that you ate 2 Mormons
Shit out a Bible

Never heard of him
Keep your head on a swivel
if you visit him

I'm a Pepper, too
Like Coke with Italian food
and with Chinese Food

But that was before
Live on reservation now
Never get to store

Thanks for making me
think about delicious things
I can't even have

I want to gravity bong three gallons of egg nog.

Issei Sagawa is still alive and I'd like to go visit him. Maybe get some pointers. Good idea, no?

The stench of businessmen with nowhere to go fills my nostrils. I feel sad for them, but I just want coffee. It's all coming down. Soon there will be war. I just don't know what kind, but billions will perish. Painfully. Slowly.
But not you; you're a cannibal.

Sky skrapers are an abomination and should come down. I read it in the Koran and The Bible. Buddha doesn't really care, but what do you expect from that jelly belly. He and Santa Clause were riding Rascals in WalMart the other day, racing to get the last back of Cheetos. Santa Clause won. He always wins. It's really unfair to the rest of us. Do you like Dr. Pepper? Or Pepsi? Or Coke? Which one?! Tell me please. I won't rest until I know!

Midgets walking on stilts will not freak anyone out.
But if you (a midget) have your legs amputated, now that would be special!
God told me to stop doing this. He told me you're stealing my money. He said I should do something about it.

I would walk on stilts
if I were a real midget
To freak people out

Extra syllable
Represents the free booger
Nose umami ball

How may I help you?
I'll get the Haiku Burger
and a large shake, please

Oh, one more thing, please
Could you put a hair in it?
Um..and a booger, too?

Добрый день!

Хочу рассказать вам про уже ставшей популярной и необходимой каждому трейдеру программе JoySignals. Это программа, помогающая торговать на валютном рынке и рынке бинарных опционов. На основе анализа индикаторов предоставляет рекомендации по торговле.

На сайте программы есть видео-примеры торговли на реальных счетах: (раздел «Примеры торговли»)

Что меня удивило в этой программе, так это очень качественные сигналы, которые рассчитываются на основании 18 индикаторов. В программе поддерживаются многие инструменты – валюты, акции, индексы, сырье.

Скачать демо-версию можно здесь https://bit.ly/3msCL3p

С уважением, Grayson




https://sergionytg85805.digitollblog.com/5396435/Примеры-торговли-на-реальных-счетах-Примеры-торговли-на-реальных-счетах-Как-стабильно-снимать-сливки-с-форекса-и-бинарных-опционов/ продажа бинарными опционами
http://trentonnioj79149.blog4youth.com/6757794/Уникальная-программа-для-трейдеров-Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Как-торговать-валютой-или-опционами-без-нервов/ российская биржа криптовалют
http://daltongoyh61567.post-blogs.com/25926443/ бинарный опцион реально
https://alexisutpk66666.fireblogz.com/33577940/ стратегий на бинарном опционе
https://chanceliey12222.ourcodeblog.com/5399250/Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Как-стабильно-снимать-сливки-с-форекса-и-бинарных-опционов/ utrader бинарные опционы

Scram, Aka Manto!
Can't take a shit in peace here
Stained your kimono!

Haiku kissa room
Enough space for one person
before explosion

One cup of Pop Rocks,
a beer bong, two liters Coke,
Live streamed on FaceBook.

A world record fart!
I guess it's sort of cheating,
but whatever works!

For anal Pop Rocks
check out my PornHub channel.
Hershey's volcano!

Trans women should be
allowed to use the women's
bathroom, and that's that!

No, they aren't women.
I just don't want them pooping
in stalls next to me!

science fair project
observe the effects of Pop Rocks
on blow jobs. ( A+)

How long does it take
till the fizz packet kicks in?
Where are my chopsticks?

Sat on telescope
But couldn't see Uranus
Mine was in the way

Gentle warm night breeze
Caresses the bamboo grove:
"Fuck Joe Biden" (chant).

I have patented
Instant Haiku Fizz packets:
poetic powder.

I also designed
Transexual mouth tampons
For difficult days.

I have invented.
For example, the Square Wheel
(the cyber-version).

Extra syllable
represents the tear I cried
for your sweaty balls

You should invent something
Circulating pants fan for men
No more sweaty balls

Results-based outcomes.
Data-driven strategies:
what passes for life.

Did I mention that
I never wear underwear.
It chafes my scrotum.

We should all go free.
Ban all restrictive chlothing.
And live in the woods.