I have invented.
For example, the Square Wheel
(the cyber-version).

Extra syllable
represents the tear I cried
for your sweaty balls

You should invent something
Circulating pants fan for men
No more sweaty balls

Results-based outcomes.
Data-driven strategies:
what passes for life.

Did I mention that
I never wear underwear.
It chafes my scrotum.

We should all go free.
Ban all restrictive chlothing.
And live in the woods.

Yeah, I guess I could
trade magic beans for a cow.
There are few milk cows.

You can get real ice cream at some places, but it's like $10 a pint... still cheaper than it would be if I made my own, I think. Most of it's imported and this shitty government has a HUGE import tax... which keeps foreign competition away and therefore the companies here can make cheap garbage and have no competitors.

Also it's what the average person can afford, so there is that factor. Anywho... At least having less food keeps me less fat, yeah? Count those blessings.

Hot humid environment not the best for cattle. But it can be done. Keeping the milk fresh is a big issue also. I do love me some dairy. Yup.

"My Dog’s Paws Smell Like Fritos – Is This Normal? | Hampton Veterinary Hospital" https://www.hamptonveterinaryhospital.com/blog/my-dogs-paws-smell-like-fritos/

Make your own ice cream
You're kind of a scientist
so you can't go wrong

Oh, it's the dog's feet!
I thought you said its asshole.
Smelled just like the ex.

But maybe not that bad.
Rotting fish guts smell better.
Nothing stinks like her!

I can live without.
But ice cream made with dairy.
That's a rarity.

Synthetic Chinese
shit is all over the place;
overpriced garbage.

Ice cream that never once saw a cow's teat is just fucking wrong and makes me want to go to war with Nestle's and Magnolia. Suicide bomb their headquarters and factories in the name of all that is good and holy. Jihad, Jihad! They seriously need more cows over here to help make more greenhouse gases and ice cream. Know what I mean, jellybean?

If you miss Fritos
Smell the bottom of dog's feet
Go ahead, try it

An all male orgy
is nowhere near as gay as
pumpkin spice latte.

Fritos; I miss them.
There's none in the Philippines.
Oh, what a pity.

Way back in the day,
like seven, eight years ago,
had me some visions.

No, I wasn't high.
Nor tripping on LSD.
Totally sober.

I'd go to Walmart
and the shelves would be barren.
Completely empty.

Abandoned and void.
You think things are bad right now?
It's only begun.

My silly third eye,
energized by my third leg,
sees things it shouldn't.

I shouldn't tell you.
I guess it's okay this time.
And you are welcome.

Профессиональный монтаж напольных покрытий.Обращайтесь всегда рады вам помочь.
Мы делаем следующие работы
Монтаж напольного плинтуса из массива
Монтаж напольного плинтуса МДФ
Монтаж напольного плинтуса дюрополимер
Монтаж напольного плинтуса ПВХ
Монтаж напольного плинтуса ЛДФ
Монтаж потолочного плинтуса.
Монтаж напольного плинтуса из металла и т.д кроме камня.
Покраска плинтуса.
Монтаж напольных покрытий
Монтаж паркетной доски на подложку.
Монтаж ламината.
Монтаж винилового ламината
Монтаж инжинерной доски
Монтаж моссивной доски (с готовым покрытием)
Монтаж фанеры.
Монтаж галтелий и наличников.
По другим работам уточняйте!
гарантия на все виды работ.
Напилим.про

Spooge Blaster 5K
Kind of a mouthful to say
Safety always off

That extra syllable was my head

One day I just might
put my head on the train tracks
Flat souvenir for you

Will it bring good luck?
Carry it in your pocket
Bet on the horses

That was a funny little song

Might I recommend
a bit of Roger Waters.
Title's "Our Song."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRGe8iK0jvE&t=21s

When your instrument
is covered with excrement
simply wipe it clean

the next song appears
on the Karaoke screen
Come on, join the scene!

It's like a kazoo
but it's built inside of you
Play too hard, you'll poo

Whatever it is
that makes the sound of our farts
Your own work of art

Why so serious?
All this tragedy and pain?
It's an illusion.

Row, row, row your boat.
Merrily et cetera.
Life is but a dream.

You speak of covid.
I must reply with flatus.
Try not to splat us.

Fret over borders?
Here's a pic of balot eggs.
Least your not a duck.

Times are serious.
You only talk about farts.
What is your problem?

I've not named my dink.
The Spooge Blaster 5000?
I guess that could work.

So, what do you think
of the name I gave my dink?
Your love's in the sink.

Have you tried ear wax?
It's like a gourmet Cheez-Whiz
Pairs well with boogers

Charcuterie board
Crackers served on a boner
Try the hairy grapes

Snopes had no answer
Do all men nickname their dinks?
Does yours have a name?

What does it do then,
this Whorendous covid strain?
How deadly is it?

Not deadly at all.
Uncontrollable flatus.
Boner won't go down.

What a fun winter.
It's just in time for Christmas.
Avoid open flames.

Prostitutes don't care
if you have covid or not.
Farts are not allowed.

So then I told her
"Yes, my farts are very loud."
She laughed; no discount.

We both coughed a lot.
Our viruses intertwined.
We made a new strain!

An angel appears
Guess you won't be needing this....
Steals my granola

A Mountain I climb
Beneath my feet a rock slips
My spine crumples hard

I clapped her butt cheeks
I should have pulled out this time
Life is pulling out

Commies must be stopped.
Our future depends on this.
Stop them with haiku!

Whatever you do,
do NOT use Google Translate;
bots come to your door!

Goddamn those Ruskies.
Communist propaganda.
Internet crime lords.

Железнодорожные перевозки. Случай возникновения и развития
Сегодня грузовые железнодорожные перевозки представляют собой симбиоз инженерных достижений в области средств передвижения и оптимального процесса управления продвижением товаров и услуг через поставщиков к потребителям. Железнодорожные превозки. ТК БИРТРАНСЖелезнодорожные перевозки грузов по-прежнему считаются самым быстрым, удобным и наименее затратным способом доставки различных грузов – через тяжелой строительной техники предварительно скоро портящихся продуктов питания.Объясняется это в первую очередь тем, что железнодорожные перевозки находятся вне конкуренции, когда речь идет о транспортировке тяжелых и негабаритных грузов: строительной техники (кранов, экскаваторов, самосвалов), крупногабаритных технических изделий (положим, опор ЛЭП, железобетонных плит, перекрытий и т.п.). Железнодорожные превозки. ТК БИРТРАНС Присутствие этом размеры данных грузов ограничены чуть размерами самого подвижного состава, какой будет осуществлять железнодорожную перевозку. Более того - современная строительная техника целенаправленно проектируется именно с расчетом для то, что ее доставка будет осуществляться железнодорожным транспортом.
Для всем протяжении цивилизации прислуга всегда задумывался, чем ему перетащить иначе перевезти тяжелый, крупногабаритный, так и весь всякий бремя, который он сам не в состоянии перенести. Так были изобретены простые транспортные имущество, как сани, повозка, плот, лодка. Когда старание человека в качестве тяговой силы уже было не довольно, человек стали извлекать животных: волов, верблюдов и, понятно же, лошадей.
Снова в Древней Греции существовала необходимость перевозки тяжеловесного и негабаритного груза. Ради сокращения водного пути из Саронического залива в Коринфский существовал каменный способ, называемый Диолком с глубокими желобами в качестве направляющих и что служил ради перемещения волоком тяжелых кораблей.

That Duck Figparther...
Always at it, parthing Figs.
His syllables: mixed.

I'm Darth Figpucker
and I'm a haiku addict.
It's been ten hours

since my last haiku.
Sweaty balls zoo trip hard drugs
shoplifted French cheese.

Or something like that.
Should we perhaps talk physics?
Quantum computing?

Warp drive possible?
Superconductor progress?
Cryogenic sleep?

Or magnetic powder infused dingleberries that can be launched at Mach-4 from a portable rail-gun toward politicians that we don't like. (Which would be all of them, yeah?) Not large enough to kill but just do permanaent brain damage so they can be put in nursing facilities and sexually abused daily live streamed on the Dark Web (which really isn't all that dark.) And the proceeds go to help hungry and homeless children around the world. Yes? I'm glad you agree!

You are Darth. What's new?
You must have a haiku load
or a classic rant

I show up for that
Not an obsession
More like addiction

Everyone has left.
It's only me and Darth here.
Where is the haiku?

Yes, wear a toupee
Glue your skull rug on today
That's when the fun starts

This Sunday, at church
Sail it frisbee style at Mass
Enjoy the chaos

Think of confession
as a free handjob session
Wait for the police

In jail on Sunday
You'll reflect on this fun day
Skip work on Monday

Some will celebrate.
It's Christopher Reeves' birthday.
But I thought he sucked.

Not all that super.
Cheesy nineteen eighties flicks.
Boring and lifeless.

Won't you please join in
Celebrating 30 years
going commando

Can't afford a laptop
I'm a poet like Basho
I'm low on cash-o

My rhymes are killer
But I'm low on the scrilla
Crying in my pillow

Cure this infection
with a fat cash injection
You'll get affection

Do not bash Basho.
He did not eat rotten dogs.
Like Filippinos.

He had a brown purse.
His verse is worse in a hearse.
Makes you tearse and curse.

Basho's no ash-ho.
He good guy; buy you sake.
You drink to Basho!

Basho the poet.
If I can go back in time,
I'd show him my schlong.

I forgot to add
The answer works out to be
Good old sixty nine

To McEggBalot
Or to McEggBalot not
That is the question

I've hired an agency
to recount all the haiku here.
The results are in

These experts include
a neutral mathematician
and cephalopods

There is no question
Everyone here's a winner
I love all of you