Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Всем хорошего настроения!
Возможно не по тематике форума - нужна помощь по теме иконописи.
Нужно выбрать мерную икону для ребёнка.
Слышал что делают прямо по росту ребёнка.
Как лучше заказывать (поделитесь опытом) в каких иконописных мастерских?
Ссылку,если можно но не просто на мастерскую, а именно туда, где Вы лично покупали.
Интересует именно личный опыт.

Заранее спасибо.
Haiku # 71964, September 12, 2021 6:12 pm ET
by СтасVex of Россия
Darth's recent verses:
Stunningly brilliant haiku.
(Balut egg flavor.)
Haiku # 71963, September 12, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by Henpecker of Penhecker
I'd say ghost pepper.
Lasting burning sensation.
Might need a doctor.
Haiku # 71962, September 12, 2021 3:14 am ET
by And I put it in your soup!
Pick the vegetable
that is most like your penis.
String bean, corn or kale
Haiku # 71961, September 12, 2021 12:44 am ET
by Farmer's Daughter
I know for a fact
Ming Lee Nguyen has your wallet.
She love you long time.
Haiku # 71960, September 11, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by Too beaucoup, too beaucoup! of Alabama black snake.
Pooping in your pants
Ain't so bad considering
Humankind is doomed
Haiku # 71959, September 11, 2021 11:34 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper
If it isn't art,
and it isn't functional,
is it comedy?
Haiku # 71958, September 11, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Chicken Soup!
By the Hu-Kwa bridge,
In the bamboo grove: Dammit!
I lost my wallet.
Haiku # 71957, September 11, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Losing Things in the Orient
Are you enlightened?
Can I follow you, guru?
Please teach me your ways.

Take all my money.
It is only a burden.
Wait, where did you go?
Haiku # 71956, September 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by http://onlinemeditationclassesfordepressionsoyoucanbehappy.com of $9.95 per minute. Call now!
Extra syllable
Represents one small teardrop
Running down your leg
Haiku # 71955, September 11, 2021 8:00 pm ET
by Sleestack Chopra


Try meditation
Motivational cassettes
Hot genital yoga
Haiku # 71954, September 11, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Long Island Guru
Are you sad?
I don't think you are.
But you fake it.
Haiku # 71953, September 11, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Crocodile tears are more real than a whore's. of Proud of your acting skills?
The only thing I know about Afghans is they are overgrown poodles on steroids with a bad attitude and rich women love them more than expensive cars and are they worth fighting a war over and making buildings fall down and thinking about it 20 years after the fact I still cannot see the logic behind this canine inspired jihad and today the light of Hope has finally flickered out after years of threatening to do so. It is sad, but if you cling to your Hope, you'll find it's all an illusion.
Haiku # 71952, September 11, 2021 6:09 pm ET
by I never did like poodles or other silly breeds. of Instant coffee is bad. And it is the reason mankind is doomed. Can you understand this?
I pooped in my pants.
Never been so embarrassed.
BigDiapers dot com.
Haiku # 71951, September 11, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Http://bigdiapers.com of For fat Russians drunk on cheap vodka.
Thanksgiving dinner.
To live them over again.
Pass the bourbon, Grams.
Haiku # 71944, September 11, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Gravy with giblets.
What's this
That is moon
Ok good night
Haiku # 71943, September 11, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, otteri, Chennai
They came again last night.
There's nothing we can do.
They demanded Fritos, salmon dip, and ginger ale.
Those who disobey will be punished.
Except black people -- they can do as they please.
Baby back ribs, green beans with bacon, pecan pie.
Will this never end?!
Haiku # 71942, September 11, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
They're already here
They're called space aliens, dude
Kiss your ass goodbye
Haiku # 71941, September 11, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The light has gone out.
The Old Hope has fallen.
Repent TicTok man, said Harley Quinn.
Haiku # 71940, September 11, 2021 5:16 am ET
by They are coming.
Born and raised in hypocrisy.
Please tell me what that's like.
To believe that lies are strength.
Haiku # 71939, September 11, 2021 5:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You seem awfully desperate to prove my insanity.
Yet my insanity at least has some ethics.
Your rules and laws do not.
Such systems cannot last.
Nor the people in them.
Haiku # 71938, September 11, 2021 5:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't get it.
There is no need to explain.
We'll die soon enough.
Haiku # 71937, September 11, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I arranged my feet
to resemble a mermaid
in case you're half fish
Haiku # 71936, September 11, 2021 2:17 am ET
by Starcatfish of Ocean
Have you ever seen
someone with a liquid ass
that sloshes around?
Haiku # 71935, September 11, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Are they aliens?
You never explained
your relationship with fish.
They are your brothers?
Haiku # 71934, September 11, 2021 1:53 am ET
by Sk
I don't need to bend.
My butthole's like a fire hose.
I will douse your blaze.

As I said before,
when alien queen lays eggs,
that's me going poop.

Thank God for bidets!
Makes cleanup way easier
than Effing TP.
Haiku # 71933, September 11, 2021 1:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you bend over
Can you see your own asshole?




I might need glasses
Haiku # 71932, September 11, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Run away from home
Bandana tied to a stick
(to hold your Fleshlights)
Haiku # 71931, September 10, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Kitten of Stars
Up in the mountains
they will often eat dog stew.
It tastes just like beef.

Nobody eats cats.
That's just not very healthy.
Even Flippos know.
Haiku # 71930, September 10, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Only Chinese are that dumb. of Bat soup covid origins.
Having corona
in the Philippines is good;
you won't smell the stench.

Dead dogs, sidewalk poop,
sewer canals, pee puddles,
JolliBee chicken.

*Cough, cough!* You're welcome.
Dying would beat living here.
You know that it's true!
Haiku # 71929, September 10, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Bawal Umihi Dito. of Nothing like rancid frying oil.
The end of this book
is finally approaching
and it should be burned.
Haiku # 71928, September 10, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by And the ashes buried with nuclear waste. of Because my life is so toxic.
Trying to get out.
Being held hostage by all
the criminals here.

Not hiding at all.
Everyone knows where I am.
But nobody cares.
Haiku # 71927, September 10, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by Except the gutter pig. Sensitive caring animals, those pigs. of More than the Flipos at any rate.
Why wait 'till Hump Day?
New, unfiltered cameltoes
Always smokin' hot!
Haiku # 71926, September 10, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Paid Advertisement
Hey C.I.A. Joe:
Lick my ass, you sad old man.
Political cl(ass) . . .
Haiku # 71925, September 10, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Transparent Elections of Techno - HELL
A dirty gutter
But a shiny turdcutter
Mystery of Darth
Haiku # 71924, September 10, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Why do you stay there?
Are you hiding from the law?
Or just like cat-meat . . .
Haiku # 71923, September 10, 2021 11:05 am ET
by Luzon of Mindanao
Let me just say that
if you saw it, you'd be shocked
and go running home.
Haiku # 71922, September 10, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Which is the smart reaction.
Gutter animals
include children, goats, chickens,
and politicians.
Haiku # 71921, September 10, 2021 2:35 am ET
by And mountains of litter.
How about roosters?
Are they loose in the city?
How stinky is it?
Haiku # 71920, September 10, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Tell
It just runs amok?
What else is in the gutter?
Watch out for germs
Haiku # 71919, September 10, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Concerned
You walk down the street.
In a bustling city.
Lots of poverty.

In the street gutter
you see a pig wallowing
in the mud and filth.

Your Egg McMuffin
before it's processed and cooked.
I would imagine.

JolliBee burgers
are made from processed cat meat;
sure as hell ain't beef.
Haiku # 71918, September 10, 2021 12:51 am ET
by And it was just running around loose; not tied up.
Pigs in the gutter
Is that true, Figpucker?
I need more details
Haiku # 71917, September 10, 2021 12:03 am ET
by Noticer
Le maudit trou Belge.
Marc Dutroux et tout ses crimes.
Julie. Melissa.
Haiku # 71916, September 9, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by True Crime Haiku of La Belgique
I like the South Park
character known as Sea Man
and sidekick Swallow.
Haiku # 71915, September 9, 2021 6:50 pm ET
by Swallow, come! of No way he just said that.
Aquaman was dull,
stole ideas from ancient Greece,
and not one nude scene!
Haiku # 71914, September 9, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by I prefer Watchmen.
All the sea creatures
are a family to me,
but you can't grasp that.
Haiku # 71913, September 9, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by I love getting stung by sea urchins more than a piece of Grandma's pumpkin pie.
How do you spell fart,
pardoon my horrible pun,
in the Russian tongue?
Haiku # 71912, September 9, 2021 6:36 pm ET
by Starry pardoon macaroon. of Tongue my flatus.
Fish are your brothers
You're saying you're a Pisces?
Jason Momoa?
Haiku # 71911, September 9, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by I C Weed of I smoke it
My shit-ass haiku:
Shining, like a sudden shart,
Illumines your soul.
Haiku # 71910, September 9, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by LINE of LINES
Rus! You shall be CRUSHED!
Merciless relentless loss.
Drink that like vodka.
Haiku # 71909, September 9, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by St. Oleg of Imperial Kiev
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