Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
Are you enlightened?
Can I follow you, guru?
Please teach me your ways.

Take all my money.
It is only a burden.
Wait, where did you go?
Haiku # 71956 September 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by http://onlinemeditationclassesfordepressionsoyoucanbehappy.com of $9.95 per minute. Call now!
Extra syllable
Represents one small teardrop
Running down your leg
Haiku # 71955 September 11, 2021 8:00 pm ET
by Sleestack Chopra


Try meditation
Motivational cassettes
Hot genital yoga
Haiku # 71954 September 11, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Long Island Guru
Are you sad?
I don't think you are.
But you fake it.
Haiku # 71953 September 11, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Crocodile tears are more real than a whore's. of Proud of your acting skills?
The only thing I know about Afghans is they are overgrown poodles on steroids with a bad attitude and rich women love them more than expensive cars and are they worth fighting a war over and making buildings fall down and thinking about it 20 years after the fact I still cannot see the logic behind this canine inspired jihad and today the light of Hope has finally flickered out after years of threatening to do so. It is sad, but if you cling to your Hope, you'll find it's all an illusion.
Haiku # 71952 September 11, 2021 6:09 pm ET
by I never did like poodles or other silly breeds. of Instant coffee is bad. And it is the reason mankind is doomed. Can you understand this?
I pooped in my pants.
Never been so embarrassed.
BigDiapers dot com.
Haiku # 71951 September 11, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Http://bigdiapers.com of For fat Russians drunk on cheap vodka.
Thanksgiving dinner.
To live them over again.
Pass the bourbon, Grams.
Haiku # 71944 September 11, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Gravy with giblets.
What's this
That is moon
Ok good night
Haiku # 71943 September 11, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, otteri, Chennai
They came again last night.
There's nothing we can do.
They demanded Fritos, salmon dip, and ginger ale.
Those who disobey will be punished.
Except black people -- they can do as they please.
Baby back ribs, green beans with bacon, pecan pie.
Will this never end?!
Haiku # 71942 September 11, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
They're already here
They're called space aliens, dude
Kiss your ass goodbye
Haiku # 71941 September 11, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The light has gone out.
The Old Hope has fallen.
Repent TicTok man, said Harley Quinn.
Haiku # 71940 September 11, 2021 5:16 am ET
by They are coming.
Born and raised in hypocrisy.
Please tell me what that's like.
To believe that lies are strength.
Haiku # 71939 September 11, 2021 5:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You seem awfully desperate to prove my insanity.
Yet my insanity at least has some ethics.
Your rules and laws do not.
Such systems cannot last.
Nor the people in them.
Haiku # 71938 September 11, 2021 5:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't get it.
There is no need to explain.
We'll die soon enough.
Haiku # 71937 September 11, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I arranged my feet
to resemble a mermaid
in case you're half fish
Haiku # 71936 September 11, 2021 2:17 am ET
by Starcatfish of Ocean
Have you ever seen
someone with a liquid ass
that sloshes around?
Haiku # 71935 September 11, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Are they aliens?
You never explained
your relationship with fish.
They are your brothers?
Haiku # 71934 September 11, 2021 1:53 am ET
by Sk
I don't need to bend.
My butthole's like a fire hose.
I will douse your blaze.

As I said before,
when alien queen lays eggs,
that's me going poop.

Thank God for bidets!
Makes cleanup way easier
than Effing TP.
Haiku # 71933 September 11, 2021 1:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you bend over
Can you see your own asshole?




I might need glasses
Haiku # 71932 September 11, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Run away from home
Bandana tied to a stick
(to hold your Fleshlights)
Haiku # 71931 September 10, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Kitten of Stars
Up in the mountains
they will often eat dog stew.
It tastes just like beef.

Nobody eats cats.
That's just not very healthy.
Even Flippos know.
Haiku # 71930 September 10, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Only Chinese are that dumb. of Bat soup covid origins.
Having corona
in the Philippines is good;
you won't smell the stench.

Dead dogs, sidewalk poop,
sewer canals, pee puddles,
JolliBee chicken.

*Cough, cough!* You're welcome.
Dying would beat living here.
You know that it's true!
Haiku # 71929 September 10, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Bawal Umihi Dito. of Nothing like rancid frying oil.
The end of this book
is finally approaching
and it should be burned.
Haiku # 71928 September 10, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by And the ashes buried with nuclear waste. of Because my life is so toxic.
Trying to get out.
Being held hostage by all
the criminals here.

Not hiding at all.
Everyone knows where I am.
But nobody cares.
Haiku # 71927 September 10, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by Except the gutter pig. Sensitive caring animals, those pigs. of More than the Flipos at any rate.
Why wait 'till Hump Day?
New, unfiltered cameltoes
Always smokin' hot!
Haiku # 71926 September 10, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Paid Advertisement
Hey C.I.A. Joe:
Lick my ass, you sad old man.
Political cl(ass) . . .
Haiku # 71925 September 10, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Transparent Elections of Techno - HELL
A dirty gutter
But a shiny turdcutter
Mystery of Darth
Haiku # 71924 September 10, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Why do you stay there?
Are you hiding from the law?
Or just like cat-meat . . .
Haiku # 71923 September 10, 2021 11:05 am ET
by Luzon of Mindanao
Let me just say that
if you saw it, you'd be shocked
and go running home.
Haiku # 71922 September 10, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Which is the smart reaction.
Gutter animals
include children, goats, chickens,
and politicians.
Haiku # 71921 September 10, 2021 2:35 am ET
by And mountains of litter.
How about roosters?
Are they loose in the city?
How stinky is it?
Haiku # 71920 September 10, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Tell
It just runs amok?
What else is in the gutter?
Watch out for germs
Haiku # 71919 September 10, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Concerned
You walk down the street.
In a bustling city.
Lots of poverty.

In the street gutter
you see a pig wallowing
in the mud and filth.

Your Egg McMuffin
before it's processed and cooked.
I would imagine.

JolliBee burgers
are made from processed cat meat;
sure as hell ain't beef.
Haiku # 71918 September 10, 2021 12:51 am ET
by And it was just running around loose; not tied up.
Pigs in the gutter
Is that true, Figpucker?
I need more details
Haiku # 71917 September 10, 2021 12:03 am ET
by Noticer
Le maudit trou Belge.
Marc Dutroux et tout ses crimes.
Julie. Melissa.
Haiku # 71916 September 9, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by True Crime Haiku of La Belgique
I like the South Park
character known as Sea Man
and sidekick Swallow.
Haiku # 71915 September 9, 2021 6:50 pm ET
by Swallow, come! of No way he just said that.
Aquaman was dull,
stole ideas from ancient Greece,
and not one nude scene!
Haiku # 71914 September 9, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by I prefer Watchmen.
All the sea creatures
are a family to me,
but you can't grasp that.
Haiku # 71913 September 9, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by I love getting stung by sea urchins more than a piece of Grandma's pumpkin pie.
How do you spell fart,
pardoon my horrible pun,
in the Russian tongue?
Haiku # 71912 September 9, 2021 6:36 pm ET
by Starry pardoon macaroon. of Tongue my flatus.
Fish are your brothers
You're saying you're a Pisces?
Jason Momoa?
Haiku # 71911 September 9, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by I C Weed of I smoke it
My shit-ass haiku:
Shining, like a sudden shart,
Illumines your soul.
Haiku # 71910 September 9, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by LINE of LINES
Rus! You shall be CRUSHED!
Merciless relentless loss.
Drink that like vodka.
Haiku # 71909 September 9, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by St. Oleg of Imperial Kiev
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Увидимся!
http://the-cinema.online/user/Andreaspas/
http://rolka.house-of-night.ru/forum/47-8-210#69917
http://www.lightitecture.com/index.php/Forum/Model-Lighting/819556-D#819556
http://www.qatifone.net/vb/qatifone18042/#post160483
http://rolka.house-of-night.ru/forum/47-8-245#70658
Haiku # 71908 September 9, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by Andreasbqw of Kiribati
There are octopi
In your foul necropoli,
But that's wrong plural.
Haiku # 71907 September 9, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Metropolises of Alumni
Also gave up fish.
Because I love the bastards.
They are my brothers.
Haiku # 71906 September 9, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by You wouldn't get it.
Pigs in the gutter.
We're talking literally.
Rooting through the filth.
Haiku # 71905 September 9, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by Why I gave up pork! of Might go vegan.
It's fun to watch the
street vendors selling noodles
cough into the soup.
Haiku # 71904 September 9, 2021 10:38 am ET
by And no one cares. of Hypocrites wearing masks.
I won't kiss hookers,
but since I have corona,
why not share the love.
Haiku # 71903 September 9, 2021 10:32 am ET
by What goes around cums around.
I hope thousands die
from elevator buttons
that I coughed phlegm on.
Haiku # 71902 September 9, 2021 8:25 am ET
by Give Mother Earth a breather. of The only good thing I've done with my life.
How many push-ups
can you do in the morning
before your breakfast?

Well that's not enough.
You need to take supplements.
Cheap steroids dot com.
Haiku # 71901 September 9, 2021 8:20 am ET
by Be a REAL man today!
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