Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 314 Days and 72143 Haikus later...

Let me just say that
if you saw it, you'd be shocked
and go running home.
Haiku # 71922, September 10, 2021 4:57 am ET
by Which is the smart reaction.
Gutter animals
include children, goats, chickens,
and politicians.
Haiku # 71921, September 10, 2021 2:35 am ET
by And mountains of litter.
How about roosters?
Are they loose in the city?
How stinky is it?
Haiku # 71920, September 10, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Tell
It just runs amok?
What else is in the gutter?
Watch out for germs
Haiku # 71919, September 10, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Concerned
You walk down the street.
In a bustling city.
Lots of poverty.

In the street gutter
you see a pig wallowing
in the mud and filth.

Your Egg McMuffin
before it's processed and cooked.
I would imagine.

JolliBee burgers
are made from processed cat meat;
sure as hell ain't beef.
Haiku # 71918, September 10, 2021 12:51 am ET
by And it was just running around loose; not tied up.
Pigs in the gutter
Is that true, Figpucker?
I need more details
Haiku # 71917, September 10, 2021 12:03 am ET
by Noticer
Le maudit trou Belge.
Marc Dutroux et tout ses crimes.
Julie. Melissa.
Haiku # 71916, September 9, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by True Crime Haiku of La Belgique
I like the South Park
character known as Sea Man
and sidekick Swallow.
Haiku # 71915, September 9, 2021 6:50 pm ET
by Swallow, come! of No way he just said that.
Aquaman was dull,
stole ideas from ancient Greece,
and not one nude scene!
Haiku # 71914, September 9, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by I prefer Watchmen.
All the sea creatures
are a family to me,
but you can't grasp that.
Haiku # 71913, September 9, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by I love getting stung by sea urchins more than a piece of Grandma's pumpkin pie.
How do you spell fart,
pardoon my horrible pun,
in the Russian tongue?
Haiku # 71912, September 9, 2021 6:36 pm ET
by Starry pardoon macaroon. of Tongue my flatus.
Fish are your brothers
You're saying you're a Pisces?
Jason Momoa?
Haiku # 71911, September 9, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by I C Weed of I smoke it
My shit-ass haiku:
Shining, like a sudden shart,
Illumines your soul.
Haiku # 71910, September 9, 2021 5:42 pm ET
Rus! You shall be CRUSHED!
Merciless relentless loss.
Drink that like vodka.
Haiku # 71909, September 9, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by St. Oleg of Imperial Kiev
Доброго времени суток дамы и господа! Предлагаем Вашему вниманию замечательный сайт для заказа бурения скважин на воду. Бурение скважин в Минске – полный комплекс качественных и разумных по цене услуг. Мы бурим любые виды скважин.У нас доступная ценовая политика, рассрочка на услуги и оборудование.Заказывайте скважину для воды – получите доступ к экологически чистой природной воде по самым выгодным в Минске ценам! Самое основное преимущество состоит в том, что вокруг скважинного фильтра делается обсыпка специальным фильтрующим песком. Это сводит к минимуму возможность заиливания скважины, значительно увеличивает приток поступаемой воды и продлевает срок ее службы до 50 лет! Обсадная труба, используемая при роторном бурении, имеет большую толщину стенки, что позволяет ей выдерживать давление грунтов даже на глубине в 150м. Данный вид бурения гарантирует вам 100% результат. Ведь большим минусом шнекового бурения является то, что в случае отсутствия верхней воды на участке, вам придется покрыть расходы подрядчика и оплатить так называемую «разведку» (в среднем, 10 у.е. за каждый пройденный метр). В результате просто потеряете деньги и все равно обратитесь к услугам ротора.
Haiku # 71908, September 9, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by Andreasbqw of Kiribati
There are octopi
In your foul necropoli,
But that's wrong plural.
Haiku # 71907, September 9, 2021 12:58 pm ET
by Metropolises of Alumni
Also gave up fish.
Because I love the bastards.
They are my brothers.
Haiku # 71906, September 9, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by You wouldn't get it.
Pigs in the gutter.
We're talking literally.
Rooting through the filth.
Haiku # 71905, September 9, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by Why I gave up pork! of Might go vegan.
It's fun to watch the
street vendors selling noodles
cough into the soup.
Haiku # 71904, September 9, 2021 10:38 am ET
by And no one cares. of Hypocrites wearing masks.
I won't kiss hookers,
but since I have corona,
why not share the love.
Haiku # 71903, September 9, 2021 10:32 am ET
by What goes around cums around.
I hope thousands die
from elevator buttons
that I coughed phlegm on.
Haiku # 71902, September 9, 2021 8:25 am ET
by Give Mother Earth a breather. of The only good thing I've done with my life.
How many push-ups
can you do in the morning
before your breakfast?

Well that's not enough.
You need to take supplements.
Cheap steroids dot com.
Haiku # 71901, September 9, 2021 8:20 am ET
by Be a REAL man today!
Laughed my fat ass off.
I needed that so badly.
It's octopuses.
Haiku # 71900, September 9, 2021 5:30 am ET
by Ask Webster.
Trusted Online Casino Malaysia Lottery - Online Casino Malaysia>>>
Haiku # 71899, September 9, 2021 3:39 am ET
by Larryestap of Kenya
I now present you
21 Balot Salute
This could get messy

A crowd disperses
Figpucker pulls up his pants
Pants with two crotches

One hand job won't do
And that your honor is why
I fucked octopi
Haiku # 71898, September 9, 2021 1:33 am ET
by Record of Philippines Court Proceedinks
I still miss Nimoy.
This old world sucks without Spock.
Like there's no more hope.

Live long and prosper.
Inspired by The Wailing Wall.
But I've lost the will.
Haiku # 71897, September 9, 2021 1:29 am ET
by No, you're not in my will. of Sorry.
I'm going to shove
a balot egg up my ass;
fart at the palace.

Balot cannon ball.
They thought the Spanish were bad.
Chemical warfare.
Haiku # 71896, September 9, 2021 12:48 am ET
by Revenge of the ducklings.
A close inspection
of your legendary schlong
It's more Hulk than Shrek
Haiku # 71895, September 8, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Ogregasms
Talk, Double Schlonged Hawk
Or do you just walk the walk
and stuff it with socks?
Haiku # 71894, September 8, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by Just like the Sweet white winged dove of Stevia Nick's Boho Kunt Aviary
I praise you oh Lord:
Darth is sitting there naked
and I'm far away.
Haiku # 71893, September 8, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by Distance Makes Good Neighbors of Shrekville
Sitting here naked.
No, I'm not thinking of you.
I'm just watching Shrek.
Haiku # 71892, September 8, 2021 6:51 pm ET
by Green with envy? of Ho ho ho.
Look, up in the sky!
It's the Double-Schlonged Hawk Man.
Fighting crime and stuff.

...He's not fighting crime?
Oh. Well, what does he do then?
Makes porno movies?

Poops on vehicles?
Well, I guess that's what I'd do.
Flying looks like fun.
Haiku # 71891, September 8, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What I really want
is to grow a pair of wings.
You have pills for that?
Haiku # 71890, September 8, 2021 6:37 pm ET
by Your supplements suck.
Tried your supplements.
And still have just one penis.
They are not working.
Haiku # 71889, September 8, 2021 5:25 pm ET
by So much for the "dream body".
High quality supplements help you build the body of your dreams.

If you wish nothing but the best for your silhouette and health,
be sure to get steroids from the Balkan pharmaceuticals.
Balkan Pharmaceuticals is one of the largest manufacturers of quality goods.
In our store, there are only original items obtained directly from the industry.
Popular Supplements: Steroids, Fat-Burners,
Post-Cycle Therapy (PCT), Combined Course and others.

Haiku # 71888, September 8, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by Bev
Underpants Gnomes, Inc.
are traded on the NASDAQ
and profits are up.
Haiku # 71887, September 8, 2021 7:05 am ET
by Better get in.
I keep telling you,
Go out and buy a bidet.
Your butt will thank you.
Haiku # 71886, September 8, 2021 4:34 am ET
by Don't be so flaky.
No toilet paper
Nothing to eat but bran flakes
You can do the math
Haiku # 71885, September 8, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Shit out of Luck
I praise you, oh Lord:
Jews, Satanists and Commies
Run the entire world.
Haiku # 71884, September 7, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Perfectly Lovely of Mass Death
I pleasured myself
thinking of Lady Gaga
in her raw meat dress.
Haiku # 71883, September 7, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by BBQ anyone? of Baby back ribs. From real babies.
Fart. Excuse me. Fart.
Excuse me. Fart. Excuse me.
Fart. Excuse me. Fart.
Haiku # 71882, September 7, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Fartpucker of Fart Silo
Get gifts from Joycazino for free - play without paying money

Подарки от Джойказино получите бесплатно

Зеркало - Joycasino
Haiku # 71881, September 7, 2021 10:55 am ET
by JEScic of Ggam
The turkey was high.
Wasted, basted, and tasted.
She's soooo delicious!
Haiku # 71880, September 7, 2021 1:43 am ET
by Plenty leftovers. of Sloppy seconds... and thirds... and fourths!
It's consentual.
The turkey had begged for it.
How could I refuse?
Haiku # 71879, September 7, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Gobble gobble.
My syllable count
I apologize for that
Go ahead, sue me
Haiku # 71878, September 7, 2021 12:19 am ET
by Giver of No fucks
Figpuckered Turkey
First it's massaged, then spatchcocked
Next, call police
Haiku # 71877, September 6, 2021 11:32 pm ET
by Noticer of Gourmet Cooking
My YouTube channel
I interview poets
and haiku poets
Haiku # 71876, September 6, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by Influencer of Internets
Before you nose douche,
Be sure to harvest boogers
and share on your wall

Wallbooger's burger
Delectable aged nosemeat
served in Kleenex box
Haiku # 71875, September 6, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Noticer of Grade A Prime Nose Meat
As much as you'd like,
you won't blow bubbles out your
nose; don't be silly!
Haiku # 71874, September 6, 2021 8:06 pm ET
by This is serious business.
If you're wondering,
sodium bicarbonate
is baking soda.
Haiku # 71873, September 6, 2021 8:04 pm ET
by Some ppl might not know that.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >