In the beginning
the universal language
was our flatulence
by Simon and Fartfunksmell Sounds of Silence
Thou, Methane, my MUSE !
Thy organic, fragrant news
my soul strength imbues.
by Haikai of Stoopid Gai
The old farts were here
They really stunk up the joint
Someone light a match
O, Methane! Thine gas!
eternal clearer of rooms,
nasal passages
by Cheez Balls of Cul-de-sac
COVID-19 News
Virus transmission by farts
is not uncommon
How can we stay safe?
Masking up only goes so far
Can't they hold it in?
by Worried of Surrounded by germs
A silicone mold
of my tubular anus;
that is what you need.
Spend more time wanking,
and less time posting haiku.
Janis will sommersault.
by Figpucker sex droid. of Get your inflatable life like Figpucker sex doll.
Always talking shit.
Continuous "discussion"
About my feces.
I can mail you some.
Self addressed stamped envelope.
Send me one right now.
Tell me how it tastes.
Leave your comments and rating.
Ratemypoo(dot)com.
by Figgy pudding.
The particular
alignment of bath towels.
He sees not the skid
by Oblivious Figpucker Neutron Bomb in the Philippines John of Out of Order
Phuq off, Miss Moisy
Your jewelry is too noisy.
Go back to Boise.
by You de Ho of Idaho
If you want nude pics,
just drop your email address.
I'll fill your in-box.
by Do you refer to your anus as your man-gina? of That's soooo 2005. Call it the no-baby spooge chute. Get with the times.
That, sir, is a lie!
I've not mentioned poo for at
least fifteen haiku.
by You on the other hand... of Every 5th haiku mentioning me, mentioning poo. Are you obsessed?
Darth is a robot.
He's a strange algorithm,
programmed for poo-poo.
by Excrementally Ill of That's FIGPUCKER, folks
Do you like to eat
food resembling sex organs
or vice versa?
by Japanese neutered chef. of Eat me, eat me raw!
Maybe I do have one.
Maybe I'm Gordon Ramsay.
Idiot sandwich!
by That would explain a lot, wouldn't it.
A question for Darth
How come you don't have a show
on the Food Channel?
by Noticer of Details
We should talk waffles.
Why Belgians think they're so great.
I have no idea!
Now onto toppings.
Blueberries or strawberries?
It ain't fruit salad.
Why complicate things?
You just need maple syrup.
And some fresh coffee.
by Emperor Funtcart VII
I already have.
'Twas after I spiked her drink.
A hornbill Cosby.
by Har har. of Flintstones Jello pops.
Have we discussed this?
Would you fuck a dinosaur?
Even one with spikes?
by Anonymous Poet
Electrifying.
I'll stick to my plumber snake.
Trusty companion.
by Practical proctologist of You get the gyst.
Constipation Cure
Man uses live eel. Success!
Well, not for the eel.
by Inventor of Eel-Lax
Just rename the site
Figpucker Flatus Haiku
Charge membership fees
by Rotten Dog of Eaten by CHINESE
Edible gold dust
You'll find hidden in my farts
Inhale, and get rich
by Don't miss this opportunity of A Lifetime
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by StronVam of Belgium
you methane monster
go refill the eco-bus
freak of the flatus
by Fat Freddy
in a marathon
farters go farther faster
'cause jet propulsion.
by run nude of farts give more boost that way
If we all went nude
Everyone would be smiling
Some horizontal
by Noticer of Details
I'm a fart farmer
We saw you sneak in our barn
Mind your business
by Fart Farmer of Fart Silo
De-worm this haiku:
Belgian posts parasite links.
Belgian is the worm.
by Metronidazol of Flagyl
Deworming pill links?!???!!! ?!
Like what in the flying fuck?!?!
Someone explain why.
Most health departments give that shit away free.
Even in 3rd world countries deworming is part of the health programs. What monetary reason could they have for deworming pill links?... To treat livestock after... Oh, I get it, they think I gave the pigs and chickens intestinal parasites and they are marketing this to farmers.... what farmer read haiku though??? It makes no sense at all.
by Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything.
Worthless Haikucoin
Wipe out the competition
Invest in Shitcoin
by Filthy Rich of Manure Bank
Instead of bitcoin
how about DanglyBitsCoin.
Coin face has a schlong.
by The tail has a distended rectum touching the toilet water.
FuntCart dot com's an
available domain name.
Get it while it's hot.
by df
You're not my uncle
But I'll sit on your lap, Darth
On one condition
by A friend of Darth F. of Haikuholics Anonymous
How to pay FuntCart?
Need new currency: BoobCoin
Worth every penny
by Too much time on my hands
Bitcoin NEO uses peer-to-peer technology to operate with no central authority or banks; managing transactions and the issuing of bitcoins is carried out collectively by the network.
Emission 21 000 000 coins (max supply).
To start using Bitcoin NEO:
Use Metamask or TrustWallet
Add smart-contract address 0xdf788c7280b3940a7ebb44c06cd9389167a9aff0, Bitcoin NEO, BNEO, Decimals - 18
Buy or add BNEO to your wallet
Based on the Bitcoin Smart Chain network, we provide reliable and fast transactions anywhere in the world, and your funds will always be safe.
Site - https://bitcoin-neo.com/?from=x
Buy tokens - https://bitcoin-neo.com/private-sale?from=x
Airdrop - https://bitcoin-neo.com/airdrop?from=x
Distribution BNEO
Team - 10%
Partners - 5%
Reserve - 14%
Promotions - 7%
Airdrop - 2%
Private Sale - 17%
Pre-Sale - 24%
Main Sale - 21%
Resources:
https://t.me/bneo_channel
https://t.me/bneo_chat
https://twitter.com/bneo_crypto
https://bneo.medium.com/
by bneoshcoams of Space
Following spam links
are rather enjoyable
and entertaining.
Entertain us with
entered anus videos
pics and scratch-n-sniff.
Smell-o-vision porn;
imagine the cash we'd make!
All the happy pervs!
Like this example:
My ex liked to "smell herself"
when masturbating.
What will we call it?
The new Sony FuntCart screen?
Pervodorater?
by Star Kitten's favorite uncle. of Sit on my lap like you used to.
You are so bent-o . . .
as in total demento.
How you pay rent-o?
by Box Lunch of NIPPON
You are so bent-o . . .
as in total demento.
How you pay rent-o?
by Box Lunch of NIPPON
Summer in Japan
Farting in a bento box
Getting dirty looks
by World Traveler of Shopping for a bigger bento box
If you don't want farts,
then you need to go elsewhere.
That's all Japan has.
by Can a samurai sword cut a methane molecule? of Shogun's outhouse.
Quadruple back flip
with a triple aerial
A solid landing (no back splash, floaters, or Klingons)
by Those fecal gymnasts are THE SHIT!! of Fecal Gymnastics Olympics
How we long for more
Than Figpucker's farts; a bore.
Give Darth a low score.
by Haiku Scoring Committee of Tokyo Olympics
Belching twat waffles
Ingestion. Indigestion.
(with homemade whipped cream)
by Sir Lester Longpig of Breakfast nook
Long-winded Belgian
Look, he farts gobbledygook
and wipes with haiku
by 2-ply of July
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by StronVam of Belgium
This site is the best
It's like having a pen pal
in the Philippines
by The other poet
Up in Canada
They wipe with a hockey stick+
duct taped tea towel
by Slapshat of Splatshot
I heard in China
They wipe their bums with chopsticks
Works on potstickers
by Christopher Wokkin'
Extra syllable
Symbolizes the bus fart
It hangs in the air
by Driver, Next Stop of Running on fumes
Farting on mass transit
They'll be reaching for their masks
I will be smiling
by Commute of Odor
Cheese, cheese, we love cheese.
We support Darth Roquefort.
We am Chinese BOTS.
by Delta Bleus of MISSES SIPPY
