Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

Are you packing heat?
Shoplifted a pantsload of SPAM?
I'll be right over
Haiku # 71097, July 29, 2021 7:05 pm ET
by I'd tap that of Your Phone is Tapped
Oh ye haiku men,
Let us arise and fight them,
Unpoetic bots.
Haiku # 71096, July 29, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by Haiku Defense Squadron 119 of Janislandia
That's why you use spam.
The slab of meat can be carved
and then used for months.

Warm it when needed.
Keep it refrigerated.
Nuke it when wanted.

Multipurpose too.
Like use it for a shot glass.
Mushroomy liquor.

You will not get sick.
With all the preservatives
it lasts forever.

If it falls apart
from being overly-loved,
just shoplift more spam.
Haiku # 71095, July 29, 2021 6:21 pm ET
by "Code 300 in canned meat section." of Walmart
I'll think of you, dear
At the next Ladie's Luncheon
What a meat platter!
Haiku # 71094, July 29, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Mrs. Cuntingham of Meet and Greet Committee
Do not fuck corned beef
Cut your unit on the can?
Your future's dead meat
Haiku # 71093, July 29, 2021 5:24 pm ET
by Will the REAL Darth Figpucker of Please stand up. (please stand up)
57 year old Technical Wire Jointer Leo from Fort Erie, really loves garage saleing, and ornithology. Preceding year just completed a journey Catalan Romanesque Churches of the Vall de Boí
Haiku # 71092, July 29, 2021 3:05 pm ET
by Jasonlep of Yemen
We're violated!
Raped by Russian spam monsters.
I used to rape spam.

Spam with a carved hole.
It may sound kind of slimy.
But it's more emotionally satisfying that screwing my ex, although both are artificially processed pork. And at least the spam has some dignity and self-respect.
Haiku # 71091, July 29, 2021 12:32 pm ET
by The Fartist Formerly Known As Darth Figpucker
https://bit.ly/3y8bt5A One of your body's main fat-burning hormonal agents DECREASES when you go on a diet plan?

Research has actually shown that this vital hormone come by as high as 50% after just 7 days of diet programs!

The most awful component is, the longer you try to diet, the even worse it gets, which is why lots of "serial dieters" constantly battle to keep the weight off (if they lose it whatsoever ...).

Fortunately is we're going to share the nutrition techniques to ENHANCE your body's natural fat-burning hormonal agents securely and also normally! https://bit.ly/3y8bt5A
Haiku # 71090, July 29, 2021 11:49 am ET
by Jessepef of Barbados
https://clck.ru/WPoNT https://qps.ru/80EcB https://qps.ru/gobMB https://clck.ru/WPw58 https://clck.ru/WPip2 https://clck.ru/WPPNy https://cutt.us/vGzOJ https://gee.su/EfUdp https://clck.ru/WPVR4 https://gee.su/k673g https://gee.su/3m9SJ https://qps.ru/EPon5 https://gee.su/RIOy2 https://clck.ru/WPno9 https://gee.su/FXd09 https://gee.su/Bp3VF https://qps.ru/dh8Sw https://gee.su/r9PkR https://qps.ru/Eel9z https://qps.ru/YGivX
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Haiku # 71089, July 29, 2021 10:15 am ET
by StronVam of Belgium
The best strategy
They'll never see it coming
Tom Bosley dink bomb
Haiku # 71088, July 29, 2021 7:38 am ET
by Beat the Bots of Save Bad Haiku
They shall taste defeat
We have a secret weapon
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 71086, July 29, 2021 12:42 am ET
by Haiku Sniper
Bots on the warpath,
Trying to take down Bad Haiku.
They shall fail, oh yes.
Haiku # 71085, July 28, 2021 9:23 pm ET
by Who Manatee United Against Bots
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Haiku # 71084, July 28, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by ErickSam
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Haiku # 71082, July 28, 2021 2:47 pm ET
by StronVam of Belgium
If not for the fact
that grandma still uses them
I just might do that.
Haiku # 71081, July 28, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Grandma can mount her own dildos.
I have an old fashioned jar opener that's got to be almost 100 years old. It still works and has always been in use. Are you thinking of mounting grandma's antique dildo collection?
Haiku # 71080, July 27, 2021 10:03 pm ET
by Use Lube
Antique furniture.
Grandma's homemade apple pie.
Uncle Joe's porch swing.
Haiku # 71079, July 27, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Marilyn Manson
Do you have any antique hand-operated kitchen devices such as cherry-pitters.
If so, do you hang them on the wall, or actually use them?
And was it handed down to you, or did you get it at a garage or estate sale?
And lastly are you pissed off that this is not a haiku or even spam like you expected?
Haiku # 71078, July 27, 2021 8:15 pm ET
by Tits.
If you don't wear pants
while you are meditating,
you will not crap them.
Haiku # 71077, July 27, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by I love farting in yoga class.
If you meditate
while you are crapping your pants,
do it in Walmart.
Haiku # 71076, July 27, 2021 2:37 pm ET
by Your 5 minutes of fame.
Japanese fountain.
Diarrhea yoga mix.
You get the picture.
Haiku # 71075, July 27, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Enlightening. of You will be lighter when finished.
If you crap your pants
while you are meditating
you're doing it right
Haiku # 71074, July 27, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Downward Facing of Dung
I guess that explains
the litters of figpuppers
(Telling Bob Barker)
Haiku # 71073, July 27, 2021 5:08 am ET
by Consolation Prize of Turtle Wax
Never used Kleenex.
Tossed it to the dog next door.
Defenestrated.
Haiku # 71072, July 27, 2021 3:36 am ET
by The dog won many blue ribbons for its shiny coat.
Poseknicker poem made me laugh
Haiku # 71071, July 27, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Sk of pnw
I want you in me
With enough lubrication
the midget vanished
Haiku # 71070, July 27, 2021 12:29 am ET
by I. Hearhim of He must be around here somewhere
You mean to tell me
All those wadded up Kleenex
are for your boogers?
Haiku # 71069, July 27, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Darth's Mom of Looking under his bed
I want you in me,
the lion roared with menace
before he ate me.
Haiku # 71068, July 26, 2021 11:33 pm ET
by Now I'm a lion fart. of They roar from both ends.
I want you in me,
she whispered seductively.
So I picked her nose.
Haiku # 71067, July 26, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Darth Poseknicker.
Golden Age of Porn
Dirk Figgpuckler picks his nose
Oh, those Boogie Nights
Haiku # 71066, July 26, 2021 11:24 pm ET
by Mark of Wallbooger
Golden Age of Porn
Dirk Figgpuckler picks his nose
Oh, those Boogie Nights
Haiku # 71065, July 26, 2021 11:24 pm ET
by Mark of Wallbooger
Oh Goddess, get stuffed.
Great celestial roast turkey you serve us all. Hail!
Haiku # 71064, July 26, 2021 10:59 pm ET
by Noble Pagan Praises of Turkey Goddess
Be my meat, oh bird.
Nest within my whole wheat bread.
Leftover goddess!

Just like prostitutes.
Dark or white doesn't matter.
As long as juicy.
Haiku # 71063, July 26, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Is it Spanksgiving yet?
When it comes to fowl
I highly prefer turkey.
Perfect for munchies.
Haiku # 71062, July 26, 2021 7:26 pm ET
by Make me a samich!
At the county fair
Farmer Brown's huge black pecker
got the blue ribbon.
Haiku # 71061, July 26, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by Exotic poultry competition.
Chickens smoke pot in
a higher pecking order.
Farmer Brown's cookies.
Haiku # 71060, July 26, 2021 7:20 pm ET
by The cows just moo.
Your job is to eat
and run around and peck things
Have any questions?
Haiku # 71059, July 26, 2021 5:06 pm ET
by I Was going to ask where the the bathroom is located of But on further inspection , everybody just shits on the floor
Poemotomy.
Me bottom in autumn lobs
poo and poetry.
Haiku # 71058, July 26, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by Well, actually all year, but some months are better than others.
As the stink from skunks
poetry is secreted
from a lower gland.
Haiku # 71057, July 26, 2021 4:51 pm ET
by dissecting in literature class
These plates smell like bleach
A bonus for the dishwasher
Thanks for your huge tip
Haiku # 71056, July 26, 2021 4:33 pm ET
by I. Orderedscrambledeggs of Yelp
If people laid eggs
things would be a lot different
I guarantee that
Haiku # 71055, July 26, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Lester Longpig of 24 Hour Cannibal Brunch
Here's Janis naked.
Her brother sold me this pic.
Near forty years back.
Haiku # 71054, July 26, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by https://www.booksie.com/files/postings/35/428371-202410_MEDIA_IMAGE_.jpg
I did your breakfast.
Scrambled eggs, extra creamy.
I DID your breakfast.
Haiku # 71053, July 26, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by eggs with eggs

Now I am ready to do my breakfast, when having my breakfast coming again to read more news.
Haiku # 71052, July 26, 2021 10:50 am ET
by Larryses of Vietnam
Oh, I thought you would
replace the booger right back
to its origin.
Haiku # 71051, July 26, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Scratch & Sniff.
There is a reason
Your nose is far from your bum
God is Good, that's why
Haiku # 71050, July 26, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Put a booger in your bum. Fart freely for 2-4 hours of Remove booger. Figpucker homemade chewing gum hack
Food and bowel movements.
In one hole, out the other.
Consumerism.
Haiku # 71049, July 26, 2021 1:19 am ET
by I am a product of Bugs Bunny and Gilligan's Island.
There's a solution
Remove the poetry lobe
Sign the dotted line
Haiku # 71048, July 25, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Miracles of Science
Bad Haiku Shrink
"Patient writes poems about food"
"and bowel movements"
Haiku # 71047, July 25, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by Dr. Haiku of Old Willow Mental Hospital
Like the moon and stars,
buttholes are never evil;
they simply exist.
Haiku # 71046, July 25, 2021 7:38 pm ET
by meditate on that
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