Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

If people laid eggs
things would be a lot different
I guarantee that
Haiku # 71055, July 26, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Lester Longpig of 24 Hour Cannibal Brunch
Here's Janis naked.
Her brother sold me this pic.
Near forty years back.
Haiku # 71054, July 26, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by https://www.booksie.com/files/postings/35/428371-202410_MEDIA_IMAGE_.jpg
I did your breakfast.
Scrambled eggs, extra creamy.
I DID your breakfast.
Haiku # 71053, July 26, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by eggs with eggs

Now I am ready to do my breakfast, when having my breakfast coming again to read more news.
Haiku # 71052, July 26, 2021 10:50 am ET
by Larryses of Vietnam
Oh, I thought you would
replace the booger right back
to its origin.
Haiku # 71051, July 26, 2021 3:45 am ET
by Scratch & Sniff.
There is a reason
Your nose is far from your bum
God is Good, that's why
Haiku # 71050, July 26, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Put a booger in your bum. Fart freely for 2-4 hours of Remove booger. Figpucker homemade chewing gum hack
Food and bowel movements.
In one hole, out the other.
Consumerism.
Haiku # 71049, July 26, 2021 1:19 am ET
by I am a product of Bugs Bunny and Gilligan's Island.
There's a solution
Remove the poetry lobe
Sign the dotted line
Haiku # 71048, July 25, 2021 9:00 pm ET
by Miracles of Science
Bad Haiku Shrink
"Patient writes poems about food"
"and bowel movements"
Haiku # 71047, July 25, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by Dr. Haiku of Old Willow Mental Hospital
Like the moon and stars,
buttholes are never evil;
they simply exist.
Haiku # 71046, July 25, 2021 7:38 pm ET
by meditate on that
Talk about tube steak.
Smothered in viscous gravy.
Those chunks aren't giblets.
Haiku # 71045, July 25, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by Gobble gobble.
My eight inch anus
has impressed many hookers
when they first grab it.
Haiku # 71044, July 25, 2021 7:34 pm ET
by Thick and juicy!
You speak in riddles
Your butthole can't be evil
Knock Knock, Figpucker?
Haiku # 71043, July 25, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Waiting of You ask who's there
Darth published a book!
He published it on Google.
With his own butthole.
Haiku # 71042, July 25, 2021 5:06 pm ET
by Figpucker the lord of EVIL BUTTHOLES
I seen Figpucker.
He was in that manual
of bowel conditions.
Haiku # 71041, July 25, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Gastroenterology of HAIKU
Darth, we LOVE to hear
about your prolapsed anus.
Do tell us some more.
Haiku # 71040, July 25, 2021 4:40 pm ET
by Stringing Figpucker Along of STRING CHEESE
Wheres's Earth Wormfucker?
Off to chew holes in apples?.
Stuck on a fishhook?
Haiku # 71039, July 25, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by Whenyawannafuckit Butcanttellwhichendiswhich of Hawaii
I didn't believe
about the earthworm story
Google says it's true
Haiku # 71037, July 25, 2021 12:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The other partner
I'm assuming it's the worm.
The worm that's smoking.
Haiku # 71036, July 24, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Noticer of What did I just see, Darth?
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.

Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
Haiku # 71035, July 24, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by Chief Running Schlong
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.

Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
Haiku # 71034, July 24, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by Chief Running Schlong
The Brown Spud Special.
Viagra, roofies, ex-lax.
You know, Trainspotting.
Haiku # 71033, July 24, 2021 7:05 pm ET
by Shit the bed!
What's it called when you
mix Viagra and roofies?
I thought you would know.
Haiku # 71032, July 24, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by This week's fun quiz brought to you by Depends Undergarments of Protection you can trust! (unlike your parents' condoms.)
Do you like smoothies?
And what do you put in them?
Besides Viagra.
Haiku # 71031, July 24, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by DOMAI member since 1994
Take that to the bank
Exponential account growth
Haiku make you rich
Haiku # 71030, July 24, 2021 1:51 pm ET
by Manure Bank
Oh that handsome Darth...
I saw his picture one time:
Steaming pile of verse.
Haiku # 71029, July 24, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Haiku GOLD of Under the Old Manure Pile
Can I get seconds.
With extra yummy stuffing.
And giblets gravy.
Haiku # 71028, July 24, 2021 6:08 am ET
by You bring out the Hannibal in me!
That's when I farted
Like a human turducken
Layers of flavor
Haiku # 71027, July 24, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Human Turducken
It's so dark in here
Like the belly of a whale
But I have a plan
Haiku # 71026, July 24, 2021 4:41 am ET
by Trapped of Poop Chute
Abomination.
My anus is extended.
It swallows you whole.

Slime envelops you.
Like the drool of Alien.
And it chews you up.

Still you enjoy it.
My God, you're such a pervert.
Even while you die.
Haiku # 71025, July 24, 2021 12:35 am ET
by Proctologist's Dream
Examination
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Haiku # 71024, July 23, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Old Willow Walk-in Clinic of Just off the Old Willow exit
Examination
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Haiku # 71023, July 23, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Old Willow Walk-in Clinic of Just off the Old Willow exit
You absolute filth,
You foul detritus of waste,
Now I must go cry.
Haiku # 71022, July 23, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Crying Crybaby of HAIKU
Biscuits and gravy.
Either waffles or pancakes.
With maple syrup.
Haiku # 71021, July 23, 2021 5:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Respond to my verse.
I need a witty response.
Answer me, dammit!
Haiku # 71020, July 23, 2021 5:23 pm ET
by Angry Haiku Poet of NIPPON
Notifications!
They, too, sometimes need more bits
äfteг enough time.
Haiku # 71019, July 23, 2021 2:13 pm ET
by Adam
The first time hearing
Imagine there's no heaven,
but we are in Hell.

You don't believe me?
Just read some of my poems.
Am I right, or what?
Haiku # 71017, July 23, 2021 9:17 am ET
by We're all demons shitting on other sinners. of Doing Satan's work for him.
Sinovac's not great.
Sixty percent effective.
Those fucking Chinese.
Haiku # 71016, July 22, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Doesnt work, like their plastic toys. of They made it but cant cure it.
Here's a great idea.
Hey, Janis, let's get married.
Think what we could do.
Haiku # 71014, July 22, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Poetry is an infectious social disease of Go spread it around!
Do math in the nude
But have sex with your clothes on.
Just to prove something.
Haiku # 71013, July 22, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Cherry flavored edible underwear. of Licorice lick her ass. Twizzle my stick.
George Floyd was a saint.
St. George had an overdose;
Died on Fentanyl.
Haiku # 71012, July 22, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by Lightning Bolt of Toledo Oh-So-Hio
Listen up, Premchand:
This site is strictly HAIKU.
Sell your meds elsewhere.
Haiku # 71011, July 22, 2021 3:25 pm ET
by Chicken Karahi of Hyderabad
Tia Titania:
Totalmente torcida
Y tonta también
Haiku # 71009, July 22, 2021 3:07 pm ET
by La letra T of Plaza Sesamo
Titania Compañía Editorial se reserva el derecho de aceptar o rechazar cualquier solicitud de acceso a La Comunidad, en base a los siguientes extremos, a saber: Compruebe que sus datos facilitados son contrarios a la verdad y/o inexactos.
Haiku # 71008, July 22, 2021 3:08 am ET
by medicación of Spain
You sure about that?
Bangkok's known for opium.
Way back in the day.
Haiku # 71007, July 21, 2021 8:40 pm ET
by Of course Rush will deny it. of Because opiates are soooo evil!
Passage to Bangkok
Is not about opium
Tis about reefer
Haiku # 71006, July 21, 2021 8:00 pm ET
by Ghost of Neil Peart
Nine plus five is two.
At least from my point of view.
Go look at a clock.
Haiku # 71005, July 21, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by No, not your fucking digital Timex! of Mod 12, I think they say.
We need some bad math.
Or maybe bad math dot com.
How 'bout it, Janis?
Haiku # 71004, July 21, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by But it needs to have an option to upload nudes. of Math without nudes is pointless.
Janis is alive!
She wiped out the Russian spam!
Hooray for Janis!

She needs stuff to do
when she's not chasing dragons
(smoking opium).

What got her hooked was
Passage to Bangkok by Rush.
Don't try to deny.
Haiku # 71003, July 21, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by Poppy Poker.
I was, but must wait.
Too many prying eyeballs.
What an ugly world.
Haiku # 70998, July 20, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by They want to destroy our freedom. of And we will all be their slaves.
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