Bad Haiku News
Landslide in Norway
Gilligan's Mary Ann dead
Ticketmaster fined
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Don't contaminate
sea gull poo with your gross head.
Green earth policy.
by Beach boobies bounce beautifully by boardwalks. of Sandy shores shine shimmering.
A day at the beach
Seagulls drank suntan lotion
and shit on our heads
by Shithead of Beach
If it's for sale,
I'll buy it for a dollar.
And a magic cow.
Walking in the sun.
Barefoot with reef cuts on feet.
Along a beach road.
by I laugh at your covid waves. of The ocean is all that's real.
Space available
17 syllables max.
420 friendly
by Landlady of Highku Towers
Ghosts rattling chains.
Wait, nope, that was just my kids.
Up playing Roblox.
by Getting drunk and killing people. of They should do it for real, like we did when kids.
Funny how commies
are more capitalist than
we Americans.
by Organized Grime. of Grimy organs.
Can we nuke them now?!
China and Russia, I mean.
Unbearable SPAM.
by If you're going to fuck me, at least buy me dinner first. of Useless motherfuckers.
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by Natashuol86 of Russia
Jose L. Calva
He's the Cannibal Poet
or he might be Darth
by Longpig Laureate of Possibly right here
Here's my dilema:
Which part of you will look best
to make a necklace?
Your fat lying tongue.
Or shrivelled up clitoris.
Maybe your nipples.
Ears are too cliche.
They did that in Viet Nam.
Born in wrong era.
by I'll sleep on it.... with a boner. of The FBI aleardy knows. Dont waste your time.
I must ask if you
notice how much I hate you.
Blow torch and grinder.
by Torture Chamber Charlie of Quality, not quantity.
It doesn't look tiny
in the dick picture you sent
(I had it enlarged)
by Well Developed of Dark Room
The First Annual
Serial Killer Parade
Coming to your town
by Making room for you in my trunk of Mapping out potential secondary locations
No need to worry.
I'm sure you do not know them.
Jimmy Dean's secret.
by Uncle Ed.
ed gein again, i
do not want to fucking know
who went in the sausages...
by vhs
Darth in your bedroom.
Wearing a real woman's skin.
I pfefer Ed Gein.
by Ed Gein beer stein. Made out of your skull. No brains to scoop. Ice cream you scream.
Vile live evil.
My penis is soooo tiny.
That's why I buy whores.
by Your mom says hi. of I removed her veil. Then put it back. One ugly ho!
Darth in the window
Wearing a woman's bathrobe
I love that Psycho
by Darth Figpucker Forever of Shower
He measures his dink
Darth can figure out the math
He rigged the system
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
I figured it out.
Darth Figpucker is a bot
programmed to be vile.
by Algorithm of Pessimism
Organic Cheetos
with beluga caviar
and Dom Perignon.
by Oprah's vagina with teeth. of And a handgun.
I'm a Dorito.
Eat my triangular ass.
God that was cheesy.
by With cream cheese salmon dip. of Oprah tested and approved.
7-11
I'll be the one who looks baked
Eating Doritos
by Haiku Hookup of Corner
Free Legal Advice
Channeled through the departed
Theodore Bundy
by Person in trance of Barstool
If you plug your "arse",
global warming will subside
and life will rejoice.
Upon your demise
we will launch you into space
to save the planet.
by EPA 42 U.S.C. §13101 et seq. (1990)
Fines just aren't enough
Overdue library books
Electric chair ride
by Doobies Decimals and Decibels of High
I'll have a Dilly
The Orignal Snack Bar
Between Eve's legs
by Bruh, this is Adam ( from the Bible) of Digging in to Bottomless Clams!
Bad Haiku News
Trump signs Relief bill
a Chinese journalist jailed
Ancient 'snack bar' found
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Methane Lottery
Hold your head up to my arse
for today's numbers
by Buy a Ticket of This Could Be Your Shitty Day!
Numerology.
It means as much to me as
gynecology.
by When was your llast exam?
I enjoyed your fart.
It reminds me of balot
and strong vinegar.
by I still won't try monkey meat.
I asked my kids that.
They say their online freinds care.
And that I do not.
Is ten years of age
too soon to kick out the house?
Relax! I'm joking!
by Fingers worked to the bone. of One foot in the grave.
i was asked why do
i bother with online folks
missing on real life?
by vhs
There's someone to blame
when your conjoined twin lets wind
(Besides your old dog)
by Fartfucius of Under old willow
If they both feel it
When conjoined twins get it on
is it called incest?
by People Person of USA!!
I mailed you my fart
It smells like burning plastic
and rotten old eggs
by A Gift for You of Fart of the Month Club
Send me a Thai girl.
I could eat that all night long.
Spicy and low fat!
by Prostitute aficionado.
Like the lottery,
hoping your ex gets covid,
but it's free to play.
by Oy vay! Free already yet?!
Be KIND to your DINK.
Write poetry about it.
And all that it does.
It will love you back.
And will not spit in your eye.
Though you spit on his.
by Don't listen to that other "poet". of She's just an evil troll.
You must be hungry
Can't someone mail you something
to satisfy you?
by Gatita Estrella of Licking Stamp
You are a liar.
I never flipped off Santa
when flipping the sky.
I was aiming that
at the Spaghetti Monster.
Fake Italian food.
Constructed in a
Chinese noodle biolab.
Made with MSG.
Chinese won't touch it.
But Pinoys eat that shit up.
So sad I could cry.
by Go to Thailand, or maybe Indonesia, maybe Korea or Vietnam of Stay out of the Philippines! Dog doo on wet toast has more appeal than their food.
Tie balloons to chair
Up and away you will soar
Try this in the nude
by Featherless Bird of Sky Chair
Challenge for poets
Meaningful haiku poems
No mention of dinks
by Dink Mentioner of Dink Mentioning Section
Coffee beans aren't beans.
However, they're magical.
Harry Potter's dead.
by Gandalf the Barista
I traded my beans
for a magical bovine.
Her teats make latte.
by But you have to add your own flavoring, because of course, gays like flavored coffee.
Blowjob was so good
She inflated my testes.
I, hopity horse.
by New Years Resolution of More more more.
Snakes have one dink
The other one's a kickstand
for upright doinking
by Sssssssssexy of In the grass
What are farts used for?
Magical hyperspace fuel.
Star Wars censored that.
by And the nude scene with Leia and Jaba. of Jaba has two penises like a snake.
Jesus, you're stupid.
Keep the beast and sell the farts.
Jack and the Beanstalk.
by Magic beans make magic farts. of Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you feed to your pig beast, the richer you will be.
