Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Serioulsy though, if you see how the Chinese keep down the poorer surrounding countries, you'd hate the commies too. Fucking criminals. Nothing but Big Time Gangsters.
Haiku # 68945, November 29, 2020 12:06 am ET
by I wish I was one of them. :-O of dw
If that was covid,
I am not impressed at all.
Had worse hangovers.

You can blame China.
Fear, the cheap commodity.
It's all about Trump.

That's how they react
to an arrogant pervert
who won't take their shit.

Serioulsy though, started as sore throat, became runny nose, mild congestion and cough, and now on 5th day I feel like I could fuck a bunch of dirty whores on cocaine and go for a 5 mile jog.
Haiku # 68944, November 29, 2020 12:04 am ET
by Can we just nuke China and get it over with? of Come on, Trump, you still have time.
The lonely Frenchman
Fucks a dozen stale croissants
Filling eclairs next
Haiku # 68943, November 28, 2020 11:44 pm ET
by Eatthis Pilaf of France
Get lubricated
Say, we need some mood music
to write these Haikus
Haiku # 68942, November 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET
by Venus of In the House
Because you like games
Wearing me chastity belt
I've swallowed the key
Haiku # 68941, November 28, 2020 10:58 pm ET
by Player of Fun City
French fries are not French.
They drown them in manonaise.
I could not live there.
Haiku # 68940, November 28, 2020 10:29 pm ET
by Well, they do have nude beaches... of Maybe. Add to their mayonaise.
Vous n'etes que des cons.
De ca j'en suis tres tres sur...
En garde, monsieur.
Haiku # 68939, November 28, 2020 9:17 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-Lit of Feudal Aristokrasy
"Smoke on ze watt air--
A fie air een ze ska yi.."
(De la bonne musique)
Haiku # 68938, November 28, 2020 9:11 am ET
by Ian Gillan's French Maid of Shallow Purple
you put it in wrong
the plural should be penes
withdraw that haiku
Haiku # 68937, November 28, 2020 7:14 am ET
by ash of look at my pedants
dispute the voters
the scrotus on to scotus
to rock the boat (us)
Haiku # 68936, November 28, 2020 7:12 am ET
by ash of in the rigging
It must be funny
Shitting up in outer space
and leaving it there
Haiku # 68935, November 28, 2020 2:32 am ET
by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
mothership arrives
Sexo-morphian combat
just what you wanted
Haiku # 68934, November 28, 2020 12:27 am ET
by Aliens with boobs on their backs and peni on the soles of their feet.
Watch Killing Zoe.
Do you see how she was killed?
Don't say she wasn't!
Haiku # 68933, November 27, 2020 7:40 pm ET
by French fries with brie and beaujolais. of Croissants are overrated.
Oui le bonbon du nez?
Haiku # 68932, November 27, 2020 7:36 pm ET
by Je veux dire de la cocaine, pas des crottes of Vive le Dark Side
La chatte dit: miaou
Punaise! C'est tout une merveille
(pas pour la souris...)
Haiku # 68931, November 27, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by Jean-Claude Marie Giscard du Cornouaille of Mais pas de Conneries
I'm moving to France
where the cats walk on tables
where the cats say Miaou
Haiku # 68930, November 27, 2020 7:25 am ET
by chaton d’étoile of Litter pan
eat me first garcon
then add creme to my brulee
mon dieu, oh la la !
Haiku # 68929, November 27, 2020 6:25 am ET
by ash of dans la cuisine, la bas
*throat, not through. But you gnu that.
Haiku # 68928, November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
First slight sore through, then bad runny nose, now a slight dry cough. No fever, no loss of taste... yet.
But just in case it's covid, I'm spitting on people's car door handles. Doing my duty to lower the population b/c that's what the Chinese scientists want.
Haiku # 68927, November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by spitooey!
The high protein food
of Thanksgiving dinner will
not increase methane.

But the amines, well,
that's a whole nother story.
Stinks somethin' awful!

For calculations,
the data are incomplete.
Blame republicans.
Haiku # 68926, November 27, 2020 6:01 am ET
by Odoriferous obfuscations.
The lonely Frenchman
fucking a hollowed out loaf
of stale baguette bread
Haiku # 68925, November 27, 2020 3:01 am ET
by French Dip of Au jus
Calculate it, Darth
Increase in methane output
caused by Thanksgiving
Haiku # 68924, November 27, 2020 2:54 am ET
by Splat Metheny of Gaslight Village, NY
Grandpa's fantasy
was to fuck someone's third eye
They'd see that coming
Haiku # 68923, November 27, 2020 12:03 am ET
by Sari of Not Sari
You clogged the toilet
with those brown warheads, pal
Where's the toilet snakes?
Haiku # 68922, November 26, 2020 11:59 pm ET
by Jana Torres of Utility Closet
I have decided
to manufacture warheads.
Nuclear, of course.
Haiku # 68921, November 26, 2020 10:21 pm ET
by I'll drop one on the badhaiku servier.
Thank God for turkey!
*Cough!* Pass the *Cough!* gravy, please.
Your wife has nice tits.

Well, I did my part.
Helping to spread the disease.
Elderly shall fall.

What will the whores do
when their sugar daddies die?
Find another fool.
Haiku # 68920, November 26, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by dw
Isn't it raw meat?
Can you get food poisoning
from sucking on cocks?
Haiku # 68919, November 26, 2020 5:53 pm ET
by Anonymous of Undisclosed
Let us be thankful
For Thanksgiving dumpster dives
Washed down with rot gut
Haiku # 68918, November 26, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by Attitude of Gratitude of Dumpster Fire
Darth you big sweetie,
You need a hug and a kiss.
Now GOBBLE, turkey.
Haiku # 68917, November 26, 2020 5:48 am ET
by Darth's Hairdresser's Boyfriend of Christopher St Nu Yawk
Covid restrictions?
Nah, gonna have an orgy
Not gonna comply
Haiku # 68916, November 26, 2020 4:21 am ET
by Lacklustre of The Brink
Horse fuckers were here
Billy goat fuckers were here
Snakes were fucked right here
Haiku # 68915, November 26, 2020 3:05 am ET
by DW of Satisfactory Condition
Grandpa fucked the bird
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving
If he fucked a ham
Haiku # 68914, November 25, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Why does my penis suddenly seem tired of Hunched over table
Darth, you're so campy.
You are not evil, just cute.
Like a huggy bear!
Haiku # 68913, November 25, 2020 10:18 pm ET
by Darth's Hairdresser of Fire Island
I'd like to present
this limited time offer
to stuff my turkey
Haiku # 68912, November 25, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by Andy Giblet of Down under
It ain't corona.
No fever or loss of taste.
Whores' ass tastes like shit.

If the whore you get
has dried snot on her butt cheeks,
that might have been me.

I went to the store.
Blew my nose into the air.
Hoped to kill old folks.
Haiku # 68911, November 25, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by Just imagine what I'd be like if I got AIDS! of That's the thing about "evil", it has no limits. And thank God for that!
Commodify THIS:
Anglo-Protestantism.
You LOVE it, don't you?
Haiku # 68910, November 25, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by Sit Back of Watch Demons Manifest
Unplanned pregnancy
Since I have no genitals
This is a surprise
Haiku # 68909, November 25, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by Inflatable Woman of Bedroom of a Lonely Man (Darth)
Thanksgiving lapdance
Cornucopia's bulging
Blunderbuss misfire
Haiku # 68908, November 25, 2020 12:24 pm ET
by Second Helping of Pants, please
When you least expect
lovable humanity
manifests in Darth.
Haiku # 68907, November 25, 2020 8:53 am ET
by Lost Credentials of Vile Live Evil Levi
The "Grand Reset" would be a fucking planet killing asteroid bigger than my ex's disgusting flabby ass.
All the Bidens and Gateses and Musks and "Libtards" and feminazis ain't resettin' shit. It's the same old same old humanity spiraling down into the abyss. The only good thing about the Trump & White Power boys is that the unending sewage waterslide of life kind of straightened out and went much faster towards our eventual doom.
Now with Biden about to be in power all that will happen is things will slow down again. Sad b/c I really wanted a nuclear war or something... Anything besides this boring old virus.
Haiku # 68906, November 25, 2020 6:27 am ET
by Oh, almost forgot... of *POOP!* Did you notice my asshole hovering over your face?
If you don't believe in The Dark Side of The Farts, then look inside my shorts. You won't find skid marks like that at the Indy 500!
Haiku # 68905, November 24, 2020 8:51 pm ET
by Yes, I'd like a 2nd helping of greenbean casserole please.
One two three four five.
And six seven eight nine ten.
Count hos on my toes.
Haiku # 68904, November 24, 2020 8:48 pm ET
by Should I give everyone corona at Thanksgiving dinner? of couse I should!
*White man.
Not "what man"... Jesus, my fast fingers. Har har har.
Haiku # 68903, November 24, 2020 8:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What man is bad because of Jesus Christ. You are correct. Welcome to the dark side, brethren... Funky Mucker. Henceforth you shall be called... Funky Mucker.
Haiku # 68902, November 24, 2020 8:43 pm ET
by I will teach you the ways of Dark Side of The Farts.
Ha! I got the first stages of rona! Gonna give it to 5 hos today. :-)
Haiku # 68901, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Feeling extra whorrendous today.
Noble Indians.
White man bad bad bad bad bad.
Because Jesus Christ.
Haiku # 68900, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Self-hating PC Puritan of Turkey Farm
No. The Great Reset
is humanity's new look.
Heaven. Without God
Haiku # 68899, November 24, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Sociopath Tyrant of World Affairs Commission
The doctor's visit:
Are you sexually active?
No, I just lay there
Haiku # 68898, November 24, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Patient of Examination Table
the great reset is
the satanic reordering
of our system
Haiku # 68897, November 24, 2020 3:57 pm ET
by vhs
well there's a bunch of
crazy "prophets" on youtube
and they do profit.
Haiku # 68896, November 24, 2020 3:52 pm ET
by vhs
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