Pardon elision.
Sacrifices must be made
to make bad haiku.

follow stevie's words
live just enough, just enough
for the cityyyy....owww!!

poets everywhere
in front of their monitors
counting their fingers

Duran Duran says,
City liv'n heavy trouble,
City living rough.

just messin' with ya
cincinnati shuts down too.
rolls up the sidewalks

touche, i'm afraid
this city sleeps by ten p. m.
when i'm most awake

I see a zebra.
no wait, it's a white horse, hey!
let me outta here!

you don't need a car
there's nowhere for you to go
you live in cleveland

the lights on my car--
did i extinguish those lamps?
can't make work! car's dead!

I do like cute girls.
Xenia's a trek, I figure,
but why the hell not?

our singapore bud
asking for a blow....girl says
"no eat finger food"

I once knew a girl
who hailed from Tiffin, indeed.
Still want her body.

nor do i, fourth way,
crimson lips or no, i say,
chick i'm not--no way

how about Xenia?
i know some really cute girls
we'll say you're with me

thegrue and fourth way
discussing geography.
let's talk about sex?

all the little chicks
with the crimson lips refuse
to kiss Drew Carey

'nonymous Poet
needs a life, and so do I!
coincidence, no?

ohio's empty
between us anyways, Fourth--
meet in columbus?

sitting on my bike
want to ride far far away
oops, forgot the gas!

mistake on the lake,
That's cleveland. HA-That's RIGHT, I'm
From Cincinnati!!!!!

haiku ev'rywhere
most of it is pretty bad
where is the good stuff?

i work tomorrow?
biggest bull i've ever heard.
now i shall not sleep.

seattle is far
from where i am located,
which is far from there

fourth way seattle

I am from seattle too

ha! What are the odds?

god I need a life

wish I were dot com rich fuck

oh wait my mistake

poetry surges
my geek blood to new levels,
time for lonely sex

celebrate pi day--
three point one four one five nine!
sing it with me now!

oh angelina,
raider of my mental tombs--
i want you, baby.

Tool's Lateralus
comes out on may 17th.
prep your stereo.....

The pretend giant
climbed up the stalk on his stilts
yelling fee fye faux

Matrix cereal!
Keanu sits down to eat
but there is no spoon

fer real you no like
mayo ketchup on you rice
you big freakshow boy

I question you this
Please? Why for you kick my dog
and call him fuck off?

I made a mistake
too many dern syllables
got to try again

hardcore down the hill
lunatic patrol screaming
under the lift big yahoo

your market is pooh
and you know it too
that's matthews haiku

HOORAY!!! I AM PENGIUN!
ALL YOU ARE BELONG TO US!!
SKEPTOPOTAMOUS.

what is the point of
writing lots of bad haiku
when so much is good

My life as a sponge
Soaking up, what, poo, and such
Some just Satanically smack me with joy
Hail Eris, God Blessed Be, Amen
And a www.quisp.com

Liberation is
a nice smack in the face with
a damn sweet cream pie

Influx of new folks
Poo haiku rocks, it pisses off
self absorbed poets

ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha

I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap? again and again???
I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap? again and again???

I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap?

Oh my freaking God!
These take barely any thought!
I'll go write some more.

6000 haiku
30 per page more or less
25 or so

pages in archive
i want to be able to
flash back to first page

important haiku
back there at the dawn of bad
haiku time travel!

Stick it in there now,
Not that hole you knucklehead!
Awww that's better now...

when julia came
than thao decided to close
it was all her fault

Microsoft is here...
Oh shit all my screen are gone!
They belong to us!

Death is at the door...
Knock hard bastard...Go away!
Off the sill I leap...