sitting on my bike
want to ride far far away
oops, forgot the gas!

mistake on the lake,
That's cleveland. HA-That's RIGHT, I'm
From Cincinnati!!!!!

haiku ev'rywhere
most of it is pretty bad
where is the good stuff?

i work tomorrow?
biggest bull i've ever heard.
now i shall not sleep.

seattle is far
from where i am located,
which is far from there

fourth way seattle

I am from seattle too

ha! What are the odds?

god I need a life

wish I were dot com rich fuck

oh wait my mistake

poetry surges
my geek blood to new levels,
time for lonely sex

celebrate pi day--
three point one four one five nine!
sing it with me now!

oh angelina,
raider of my mental tombs--
i want you, baby.

Tool's Lateralus
comes out on may 17th.
prep your stereo.....

The pretend giant
climbed up the stalk on his stilts
yelling fee fye faux

Matrix cereal!
Keanu sits down to eat
but there is no spoon

fer real you no like
mayo ketchup on you rice
you big freakshow boy

I question you this
Please? Why for you kick my dog
and call him fuck off?

I made a mistake
too many dern syllables
got to try again

hardcore down the hill
lunatic patrol screaming
under the lift big yahoo

your market is pooh
and you know it too
that's matthews haiku

HOORAY!!! I AM PENGIUN!
ALL YOU ARE BELONG TO US!!
SKEPTOPOTAMOUS.

what is the point of
writing lots of bad haiku
when so much is good

My life as a sponge
Soaking up, what, poo, and such
Some just Satanically smack me with joy
Hail Eris, God Blessed Be, Amen
And a www.quisp.com

Liberation is
a nice smack in the face with
a damn sweet cream pie

Influx of new folks
Poo haiku rocks, it pisses off
self absorbed poets

ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha

I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap? again and again???
I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap? again and again???

I wonder what happens if you
don't follow the rules and just tupe
some crap?

Oh my freaking God!
These take barely any thought!
I'll go write some more.

6000 haiku
30 per page more or less
25 or so

pages in archive
i want to be able to
flash back to first page

important haiku
back there at the dawn of bad
haiku time travel!

Stick it in there now,
Not that hole you knucklehead!
Awww that's better now...

when julia came
than thao decided to close
it was all her fault

Microsoft is here...
Oh shit all my screen are gone!
They belong to us!

Death is at the door...
Knock hard bastard...Go away!
Off the sill I leap...

A preview button.
I will work on that feature
Yes, good idea.

roomate is jesus
freak condeming ev'ryone-
we all go to hell

Tubby magicians
when they prestidigitate
just eat the doves whole

Deadlines will be damned.
All that matters is: two weeks
Before vacation!

Interesting website.
Wonder if it will catch on?
Needs preview button.

ah yes, back again.
hey- did you meet your deadines?
inquiring minds.....

Frasier and the rock!
...Kelsey in Alcatraz? nah.
"The Mummy Returns"

Back again, Fourth Way?
Here I thought you had a life...
Well, neither do I.

Reality Realty:
hosing housing but buyer
is wishy washy

Apnea, Asthma,
Arthritis: skull, chest, crossbones-
need pirate doctor.

I see Imposters
posing as poets, posting.
guess it's a sixth sense.

ambiguity
synechdocal labia
as i kiss the gnome

oh oh mmmm uh uh
yeah oh god yes uh mmm mm mm
oh god baby yeah baby

you say cranberry
juice drips from your lips, distant
as i kiss the phone

boz sez 'good tings! yes
own lee good tings! no bad tings!
good tings! yes now yes!

you are ugly inside
full of poop and intestines
outside you are cute

goodness gracious me
I seem to have offended
let me drop my pants

my monkey is nice
he has only six fingers
love him very hard