Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

We were young, we loved
Our meat swung between our legs
Dogs followed us home
Haiku # 64530, May 1, 2019 3:00 am ET
by Al Poe
WHEN I TYPE ALL CAPS
I'M SCREAMING LIKE A WEREWOLF
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??
Haiku # 64529, May 1, 2019 2:58 am ET
by Wahhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo
Got me worked up now
You into the furry scene?
I'm dressed as a bird
Haiku # 64528, May 1, 2019 2:30 am ET
by Cassowary Bird
Attract attention
Learn to shake your derrière
Like a paint mixer
Haiku # 64527, May 1, 2019 2:28 am ET
by Fred Meyer
Personality
That won't win you the pageant
Wear something low cut
Haiku # 64526, May 1, 2019 2:25 am ET
by Gent
Tea ceremony
I left my shoes at the door
And I have to shit
Haiku # 64525, May 1, 2019 2:23 am ET
by How you doin'?
Forget that loser
Buy yourself a huge dildo
Ride it in to town
Haiku # 64524, May 1, 2019 2:06 am ET
by Sexy Solutions
poetry problems
What's a syllable like you
Doing in this dump?
Haiku # 64523, May 1, 2019 2:03 am ET
by Leering Lechuguilla of Barstool
Nature, a paradox
Proof: vulnerability
Is the way to strength
Haiku # 64522, May 1, 2019 1:33 am ET
by MONARCH of Endangered Species List
I'm sorry,
I wasn't there for you,
you grew to hate me,
and i grew to hate me too.

we loved
we were young
now you're with him,
a cheap carbon copy of me
same height half the personality.

I want you to be happy,
but you hurt me.
you cut me deep you bitch,
and I still love you,
yet,
I cannot forgive you.

All I ever did was my best for you
when I needed help you abandoned me.
the one time I needed someone...
you stabbed me.
I saved you from yourself,
your crazy family,
your unstable friends,
I saved you time and time again.

Did that mean nothing to you?
You beautiful backstabbing bitch?
Did all I do for you mean nothing?
How was I not enough when I needed you?

Whatever

I dont care to care anymore

Have fun with great value brand me you whore.

I loved
I Lived
You cut me

I moved on
I hope you're happier
I hope what you did keeps you up at night
I hope you two love each other
I hope he cuts you like you cut me

:)
Haiku # 64521, May 1, 2019 1:04 am ET
by A Conflicted and Grieving Bastard of The Throngs of Sadness
Stinch
Haiku # 64520, April 30, 2019 10:47 pm ET
by Stinch
ridiculous bored palms of
shit face tack head
Haiku # 64519, April 30, 2019 10:07 pm ET
by clown of pawn
Cassowary Bird
Throwing down haiku guano
Next load INCOMING!!
Haiku # 64518, April 30, 2019 10:04 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird
I stand in sunbeams
Rainbow across my penis
A smile on my face
Haiku # 64517, April 30, 2019 9:49 pm ET
by Slap Happy of Happy Valley
Sucked off Dracula
Despite taking precautions
Got blood poisoning
Haiku # 64516, April 30, 2019 9:45 pm ET
by Bride of Frankenstein
I just looked down there
I have a bald vagina
Looks like a vulture
Haiku # 64515, April 30, 2019 9:26 pm ET
by Carry On
Ronald McDonald
McJaculated on me
When I pinched his nose
Haiku # 64514, April 30, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Junk Food Junkie of Golden Arches
A Heavy flow day?
Try new suber absorbent
Poetry Tampons
Haiku # 64513, April 30, 2019 8:58 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Darth has bored me now
to the point I stay away
for several haiku.
Haiku # 64512, April 30, 2019 8:36 pm ET
by Just rename the site Figpucker's Obsessions
How to make great tea
Pour not quite boiling water
Through dirty undies
Haiku # 64511, April 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Screech owl
Making up for it
I hired a troupe of midgets
To suck you bone dry
Haiku # 64510, April 30, 2019 4:46 pm ET
by No sleep tonight
The blowjob last night
Was a bit uneventful
Since I was sleeping
Haiku # 64509, April 30, 2019 12:42 pm ET
by In the midst of A cold snap
I'd the strangest dream
I was fucking Ronaldo
But came on Messi
Haiku # 64508, April 30, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Serie A La Liga
Your buttocks need air.
Have you ever mooned the moon?
If not, then you should.
Haiku # 64507, April 30, 2019 7:04 am ET
by give them some spring freshness.
Sah meh gah mah man
Gnip gnop gnip plop
Sah meh gah mah man
Haiku # 64506, April 30, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Mange tout of Foyer
That is not cum, sir
Pardon my sticky droplets
Bird diarrhea
Haiku # 64505, April 30, 2019 3:59 am ET
by Cassowary Bird
The last drop of cum
From consecutive blowjobs
Just dripped from my cock
Haiku # 64504, April 30, 2019 3:06 am ET
by In need of A nap
Shoes and pant legs wet
Also the back of my pants
Toilet tsunami
Haiku # 64503, April 30, 2019 12:53 am ET
by Messed up of Bus
The Board of Health came
They shut down the taco truck
The meat was penis
Haiku # 64502, April 30, 2019 12:49 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Police tape
When the work men come
Undress before the windows
How they grab their tools!
Haiku # 64501, April 30, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Ima de S of Stained the blueprints,Mr. Brady
Try to imaging.
I look like Lord Sidious
and Dead Pool's love child.
Haiku # 64500, April 29, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Your Friendly Neighborhood Figpucker
Remote viewing, no!
I am outside your window.
With a huge boner.
Haiku # 64499, April 29, 2019 11:12 pm ET
by Tom
Sad to see you go
Picture me waving goodbye
Then I flush it down
Haiku # 64498, April 29, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Goodbye Girl
Japanese pussy
Having the propensity
To taste like sushi
Haiku # 64497, April 29, 2019 9:10 pm ET
by Isle of Mann
Kamakura melt
Dog leg lift ceremony
Don t eat yellow snow
Haiku # 64496, April 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Conehead
Kamakura melt
Dog leg lift ceremony
Don
Haiku # 64495, April 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Conehead
I don't want to see
the face of Darth Figpucker
... rather imagine.
Haiku # 64494, April 29, 2019 5:35 pm ET
by Smiling Face of Filth
Them good old poop stains
Splotched chair seats and fudge stripe sheets
Make yourself at home
Haiku # 64493, April 29, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by Casual of Château due Fudge
Lord God Almighty
Are you remote viewing me?
You must be aroused!
Haiku # 64492, April 29, 2019 2:05 pm ET
by Yellow Toenails of Matching Teeth
Old saggy pink white nipples
shriveled up long sagging ball sac
small tiniest little tweezer prick that pays to get licked
ewe the fungus decay on the outer crust
Haiku # 64491, April 29, 2019 1:45 pm ET
by Yellow Toenails of From Hell
duck tails woo hoo oo!
Haiku # 64490, April 29, 2019 8:39 am ET
by vhs
Ron Jeremy's dink
There's something to write about
It might not fit here
Haiku # 64489, April 29, 2019 4:23 am ET
by Jon Rearendme
Hey Darth Figpucker
Where can we see your duck face?
Are you on Facebook?
Haiku # 64488, April 29, 2019 2:35 am ET
by SK
There's a cool brand new
social media platform
called AssBook dot com.
Haiku # 64487, April 29, 2019 2:16 am ET
by No, I'm just joking. But it would be cool.
Pressed against the glass
My rotund unwashed hind end
You won't unsee that
Haiku # 64486, April 29, 2019 1:29 am ET
by Goodbye Girl of Bus
Bolt upright boner
Our organs mixed, orgasmic
Organization
Haiku # 64485, April 29, 2019 1:25 am ET
by Organized
My grandad does that
He said it jump starts his junk
Then he can diddle
Haiku # 64484, April 29, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Hannibal Lectric
You ever wake up at 3:00 am or thereabouts to take a leak and then write a quick haiku, only forgetting to take the piss and find yourself pissing your pajamas while sitting at the computer and then urine stream runs out to the cheap exposed wires under your $11259 VR computer and it forms a closed circuit b/w you and the computer and the shock gives you a boner and makes you lose bowel control?
Yeah, me too.
Kind of fun, isn't it?
Haiku # 64483, April 29, 2019 12:45 am ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple pomegranate Poptarts posthumously penetrated pondering pletheras
Dating the doorknob?
Afrald of getting knocked up?
Ring Bell. Entry in rear.
Haiku # 64482, April 28, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Donna Answerthed'oro of Could be Jehovah's Witnesses
Among the questions
Asked to those that I have fucked
Is it in this time?
Haiku # 64481, April 28, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Lack of Confidence
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >