Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I just looked down there
I have a bald vagina
Looks like a vulture
Haiku # 64515, April 30, 2019 9:26 pm ET
by Carry On
Ronald McDonald
McJaculated on me
When I pinched his nose
Haiku # 64514, April 30, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Junk Food Junkie of Golden Arches
A Heavy flow day?
Try new suber absorbent
Poetry Tampons
Haiku # 64513, April 30, 2019 8:58 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Darth has bored me now
to the point I stay away
for several haiku.
Haiku # 64512, April 30, 2019 8:36 pm ET
by Just rename the site Figpucker's Obsessions
How to make great tea
Pour not quite boiling water
Through dirty undies
Haiku # 64511, April 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Screech owl
Making up for it
I hired a troupe of midgets
To suck you bone dry
Haiku # 64510, April 30, 2019 4:46 pm ET
by No sleep tonight
The blowjob last night
Was a bit uneventful
Since I was sleeping
Haiku # 64509, April 30, 2019 12:42 pm ET
by In the midst of A cold snap
I'd the strangest dream
I was fucking Ronaldo
But came on Messi
Haiku # 64508, April 30, 2019 10:15 am ET
by Serie A La Liga
Your buttocks need air.
Have you ever mooned the moon?
If not, then you should.
Haiku # 64507, April 30, 2019 7:04 am ET
by give them some spring freshness.
Sah meh gah mah man
Gnip gnop gnip plop
Sah meh gah mah man
Haiku # 64506, April 30, 2019 5:22 am ET
by Mange tout of Foyer
That is not cum, sir
Pardon my sticky droplets
Bird diarrhea
Haiku # 64505, April 30, 2019 3:59 am ET
by Cassowary Bird
The last drop of cum
From consecutive blowjobs
Just dripped from my cock
Haiku # 64504, April 30, 2019 3:06 am ET
by In need of A nap
Shoes and pant legs wet
Also the back of my pants
Toilet tsunami
Haiku # 64503, April 30, 2019 12:53 am ET
by Messed up of Bus
The Board of Health came
They shut down the taco truck
The meat was penis
Haiku # 64502, April 30, 2019 12:49 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Police tape
When the work men come
Undress before the windows
How they grab their tools!
Haiku # 64501, April 30, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Ima de S of Stained the blueprints,Mr. Brady
Try to imaging.
I look like Lord Sidious
and Dead Pool's love child.
Haiku # 64500, April 29, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Your Friendly Neighborhood Figpucker
Remote viewing, no!
I am outside your window.
With a huge boner.
Haiku # 64499, April 29, 2019 11:12 pm ET
by Tom
Sad to see you go
Picture me waving goodbye
Then I flush it down
Haiku # 64498, April 29, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Goodbye Girl
Japanese pussy
Having the propensity
To taste like sushi
Haiku # 64497, April 29, 2019 9:10 pm ET
by Isle of Mann
Kamakura melt
Dog leg lift ceremony
Don t eat yellow snow
Haiku # 64496, April 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Conehead
Kamakura melt
Dog leg lift ceremony
Don
Haiku # 64495, April 29, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Conehead
I don't want to see
the face of Darth Figpucker
... rather imagine.
Haiku # 64494, April 29, 2019 5:35 pm ET
by Smiling Face of Filth
Them good old poop stains
Splotched chair seats and fudge stripe sheets
Make yourself at home
Haiku # 64493, April 29, 2019 2:48 pm ET
by Casual of Château due Fudge
Lord God Almighty
Are you remote viewing me?
You must be aroused!
Haiku # 64492, April 29, 2019 2:05 pm ET
by Yellow Toenails of Matching Teeth
Old saggy pink white nipples
shriveled up long sagging ball sac
small tiniest little tweezer prick that pays to get licked
ewe the fungus decay on the outer crust
Haiku # 64491, April 29, 2019 1:45 pm ET
by Yellow Toenails of From Hell
duck tails woo hoo oo!
Haiku # 64490, April 29, 2019 8:39 am ET
by vhs
Ron Jeremy's dink
There's something to write about
It might not fit here
Haiku # 64489, April 29, 2019 4:23 am ET
by Jon Rearendme
Hey Darth Figpucker
Where can we see your duck face?
Are you on Facebook?
Haiku # 64488, April 29, 2019 2:35 am ET
by SK
There's a cool brand new
social media platform
called AssBook dot com.
Haiku # 64487, April 29, 2019 2:16 am ET
by No, I'm just joking. But it would be cool.
Pressed against the glass
My rotund unwashed hind end
You won't unsee that
Haiku # 64486, April 29, 2019 1:29 am ET
by Goodbye Girl of Bus
Bolt upright boner
Our organs mixed, orgasmic
Organization
Haiku # 64485, April 29, 2019 1:25 am ET
by Organized
My grandad does that
He said it jump starts his junk
Then he can diddle
Haiku # 64484, April 29, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Hannibal Lectric
You ever wake up at 3:00 am or thereabouts to take a leak and then write a quick haiku, only forgetting to take the piss and find yourself pissing your pajamas while sitting at the computer and then urine stream runs out to the cheap exposed wires under your $11259 VR computer and it forms a closed circuit b/w you and the computer and the shock gives you a boner and makes you lose bowel control?
Yeah, me too.
Kind of fun, isn't it?
Haiku # 64483, April 29, 2019 12:45 am ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple pomegranate Poptarts posthumously penetrated pondering pletheras
Dating the doorknob?
Afrald of getting knocked up?
Ring Bell. Entry in rear.
Haiku # 64482, April 28, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Donna Answerthed'oro of Could be Jehovah's Witnesses
Among the questions
Asked to those that I have fucked
Is it in this time?
Haiku # 64481, April 28, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Lack of Confidence
A sad story
She knocked on his door for so long
He hid because he was afraid
When he did open up she was gone
No goodbye heard
No blame
The end
Haiku # 64480, April 28, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by MANMOTH
Good friend, severed head
Simulate cunnilingus
2 D batteries
Haiku # 64479, April 28, 2019 11:00 pm ET
by U look marvelous
Decapitation
Means that you can't suck my dick
So lets just be friends
Haiku # 64478, April 28, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by Running of The Bulls
That very same thing
Happened to my great grandpa
After the big war
His legs got blown off
Started itching like crazy
Grew two big ding dongs
Haiku # 64477, April 28, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Missing none of the action
I saw a tree that had been cut down
A branch grew from the stump
Makes me smile
Haiku # 64476, April 28, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by MANMOTH
Mathematics Man
When I hear that song by Heart
I think of your cock
Haiku # 64475, April 28, 2019 10:01 pm ET
by Algae bra of (Hey, I got big algae)
Coffee can increase the blood flow by 30% and that's just the perfect thing for me to ingest. I will start jogging again, drink lots of coffee, take vitamin E. We can do this! Don't just think positive, think HIV positive!
Haiku # 64474, April 28, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple pomegranate Poptarts posthumously penetrated.
How many Poptarts
could one buy with a 2 pence
numismatic coin?
Haiku # 64473, April 28, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple pomegranate Paptarts posthumously.
Oh, and by the way,
it was nearly pure copper.
Rather valuable.
Haiku # 64472, April 28, 2019 9:46 pm ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple pomegranate Poptarts. of Holy shit, there really was a pomegranate poptart!.. cherry pomegranate, but still.
The largest coin in
circulation ever was
the UK 2 Pence.

That was way back in
1797.
And so now you know.

Diameter of
41 millimeters.
Weighed 56 grams.
Haiku # 64471, April 28, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by Positive Panda pooping purple Poptarts
I wanted to say
that I'm in love with your cunt.
The rest of you, no.
Haiku # 64470, April 28, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Positive Panda pooping Poptarts.
Honkler loves Haiku !
Clown World is Poetry World !
HONK HONK funny HONK !
Haiku # 64469, April 28, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by Rainbow-Haired Red-Nosed Smiley-Faced Joy-Bringer
5 men trapped in cave
Fake News. They were in wife's cunt.
Vagina Cavern
Haiku # 64468, April 28, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I once fucked a frog
In Calaveras County
Then he jumped away
Haiku # 64467, April 28, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by Mark Twain
Chickens eat some corn
Then you eat some KFC
Then you shit out corn
Haiku # 64466, April 28, 2019 6:19 pm ET
by Cassowary Bird of Nantucket KFC
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