Did anyone else
Notice that the email field
does not do a thing?

if you smell the glove
then maybe in the winter
you see the weasel

I lube up my thumb
so I can show you how I
stroke my cock and balls

How many more now?
I could likely write day
these poems are suck.

according to tool
you ARE the man, and me too...
gotta love Maynard

Bitches with cell phones
do often drive SUVs.
wish I had a gun

As I sit at work
I do strive to slack off more
"fuck the man," says me

Texas is full of
rednecks, cowboys and hicks
they love bar-b-que

Your search engine sucks
Is that the best you can do?
Time for something new.

Nasdaq is tanking
day traders wish they had kept
that insurance job

There's corn in my poo
Last night's succatash passed
like shit through a goose

who am i to them,
twenty-some and spiky hair?
am i okay there?

beEeoL say he is taaa'hrd
threw the biTch against the wall..
gots to gets his sleeps

I still sleepy now
Bed hair it sticking straight up.
Must go brush my teeth.

That mound of umber
Goodness you just stepped into
Came from my dog's ass

trying not to do
what I should but why should I?
today's just tuesday

Oh no! I sent porn.
It was not my intention.
Can you forgive me?

Haiku written with
No inspiration are not
Very good, are they?

Sooty Telesto
This is causing a low yield
Something must be done

Electrostatic
The filters must be dirty
Precipitators

fat fool moon goads me
to spew a few words, all so
self-referential

Why trust a hand held
appliance? So thrilling when
it jerks you around.

Another Failure!
Can you not perceive the faults?
Get out of my sight!

is that a fact Ash?
we all knew it would happen.
even before you.

I re-iterate
You must know that All Your Base
Are Belong To Us

my monkey is great
he has only six fingers
i love him so much

I tried hard to work
The damn espresso machine
Now I drink brown sludge

Annoying screen names
Impossible romances
Retard addiction.

have we hit bottom?
ordinarily perhaps.
could this be the end?

fifty point four eight
out of the ordinary
where's the rising sun?

right in front of me
the facts were taken away
before i knew it

sunflower yellow
the salty tang of chippies
computer humming

Ooh Ooh Oooh, Horshack
Whats hap-nin Mr. Kot-ter
Pulp fiction my ass!

One thirty am
Drunk, rooms are spinning round fast
I peed in hamper

She is exotic
Beautiful and curvey, but
I have no money

I really hate when
sassy-ass haiku websites
reject my haiku

work in industry
watch it crumble around me
uncertainty stress

Your ass gets wider
As you get older, my dear.
Eat a damn salad.

potluck party now
but there is no pot in sight
not very lucky

hurling cabbage heads
doing 90 on freeway
cherry blossoms fall

witten writes poetry
he writes a good limerick
i write bad haikus

there once was a guy named Fred
who tried to write haiku in bed
but he fell off the side
and cracked his head wide
and wrote a bad limerick instead

brother annoys me
he should return to his room
I still love him though

Browse, surf, click.
So bored. Write Bad Haiku. Click
Read. Feel Sad.

someone set us up
you have no chance make your time
all belong to us

thirst just won't quit? beer!
too much sobriety? more beer!
boring friends? bring on the beer!

Budweiser, Pabst, Schlitz.
Milwaukee's Best, Rolling Rock.
they suck but they're cheap!

pretty blonde -- graceful --
talented... meet me later?
it's too bad she's gay!

I see my clock's wrong
It's still just short of midnight
I peed anyway

I see my clock's wrong

The clock strikes midnight
It is time for me to pee
I'll be back shortly

Foot-and-mouth disease
Is spreading throughout Europe
Sell McDonald's stock