About to drift off
Will I have another dream
About Gilligan?
by I hope so
Sleep like a baby
Air conditioner white noise
Use it all the time
by Youtube of Has picture of a bed and ac above it
aint no one gonna tell you what ya got to do to be better poet. Should you walk alone into the woods and live amongst wild boars with tremendous ding dongs?
by I Wonder
My insomnia
Is like a well-known old friend
who I truly hate
by Harkening to the Death Watches in the Wall
Some people have fun
And enjoy their lives on Earth
And some people don
by I don of Miserable Earth
Barry Manilow
Softly playing as we screw
Lost my erection
by Shorty of New England
God wants you to be
Addicted to opioids
Write haiku instead
by Advisor of Not in sky
God wants you to be
Addicted to opioids
Write haiku instead
by Advisor of Not in sky
I think gay Jedi
would have black-light light sabers
for disco parties.
by df
Star Wars themed Fleshlight.
Right when you ejaculate
it sizzles and pops.
by Darth Figpucker
If you could see me
Just stood up in a dab pose
Now I M waving
by U know it
A Corned beef hand job
You know where this is headed
Fresh horseradish stand
by Paul Reubens of Uber
hard long stiff huge thick
Rock bone dense flint bulk wow
Just for three seconds
by Anonymous Poet
The Gates of Heaven
When Darth Figpucker arrives:
You brought your Fleshlight?
by Traveling of Hobo Style
Killed a mosquito.
I think I'll have some ice cream.
Except there is none.
by Enjoy your cheap dairy you lucky fuckers!
Corned beef. I mean, wtf is that?! It's not corn, and I highly doubt that it's beef. Fucking Flippos and their synthetic foods made in China. Low life expectancy. But that's okay b/c of overpopulation and all that. Bad health habits, good for the world.
by Snorting Powdered MSG for Jesus!
Jean Valjean's vagine.
Mor Misserable Transvestites.
Cross dressing Pierre.
by Darth VH Cuntkitten of Fries, toast, kisses, and ticklers.
It may sound corny
But it sure touches my heart
For us you shit self
by I hope it of Eat some corn first
YANG can kiss my ass
(Andrew Yang, cyber-darling)
Troll-promoted fake
by Troll Farmer of the East
CLEARANCE! NEW MARKDOWNS!
Gotta Make Room for NEW STOCK
Proprietor: GOD
by God Almighty of Executive Office
I need a hobby.
Been considering painting.
With strange media.
Feces and Cheetos.
Paint portraits of Donald Trump.
Clear varnish seal.
That way it won't stink.
Shut down by health department.
Free speech pathogens.
by df of Goddamn brain damage.... lights are too bright!
Waiter! There's a cunt in my soup!
by df
Ok... lets see. What other things could I want to do? Shoot people? See, smearing's not so bad. Ah, but seriously, anything that separates me from humanity. "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
by df
Darth I was with you
In your Rocky Horror rant
Until the smear part.
by Horror of Humanity
The scariest movie I've ever seen is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Not that the movie itself is scary, but the strange insights into human nature by observing the audience and how they respond to cues makes you wonder if human beings really deserve to be on this planet. The act is not evil, nor vulgar, and in some cases is comedic, but the fact that it's just regurgitated lines over and over again every Saturday at midnight and that is enough for them to be entertained... That makes me just want to shit my drawers, reach down my backside and pull out a handful to smear all over the hood of the nearest parked police car. I don't know why.
by df
I should go jogging.
That would piss off the old cunt.
She knows I crave death.
by df of anything for peace
Prehistoric sloths
enjoy fine cunnilngus
and mulberry leaves.
by df -- head getting light, but not severe. Dammit. of flush my ashes down the toilet
Zen haiku toilet
paused work to flush the image
an homage to Darth
by Disciples of Darth
Wacky woke women
will wage war, wailing, without
warning. Why wonder?
by Womb of Man
Darth, I wanna know
what kind of coffin you want
for the great event.
by Funereal Farts of Darth
Have you ever played
"Eenie Meanie Minie Moe"
with a millipede?
by
Ah, wise Starkitten.
Vitamin E thins the blood.
I think I'll take five.
by df of pun intended
Remember the time
You left the house with no pants
Won three legged race
by Triskelion
Please do not die yet
You are my favorite poet
Take your vitamins
by Starkitten of Pnw
They had to chop mine
An aluminum chopper
Near the toilet bowl
by Regular of Bygone days
50-ish. Yes.
One of my earliest memories is sitting backwards on the toilet so as to grab onto the tank and not fall in whilst pooping.
Sometimes I still do that.
Neck pain is back, indicative of brain bleeding starting again.
The jogging has worked! With any luck, I'll be dead soon. I'll let you know if I start to get numb on one side. Oh fun fun fun! It beats continuing on writing about farts and such. Imagine how peaceful it would be here.
by df
Half a century
Based on my calculations
Just how old is Darth?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Do you know that guy
Passed out drunk on my staircase
Turns out it was me
by Drunk of Staircase
Nude riding a swing
Haven t bathed in a fortnight
Supertuna Moon
by Celeste Y all of Up
Nude riding a swing
Haven
by Celeste Y of Up
I lament R.I.N.O.s
horning in to gore our Prez,
fig-pucking losers.
by Forty-Five in 2020 of course
N-words be all, like
"call every bruthah N-word;
crackerz steal racist"
by Stoned Wheat Thin of White Flour Power
An apple orchard
My earliest memory
I shit my pants there
by Apple of Not far from the tree
I liked that story
And the cigarette delay too
I love story time
by Stakitten of PNW
Lament the rhino.
Horns do not make one horny.
Fucking Chinese twats!
by df
That was probably late 70s, btw.
No one said or did anything.
The couple, I have to say, showed great restraint and maturity and just realized an old southern cunt cannot change her ways and whats the point of making a scene. They handled it very well, I thought and I have to say that really earned my respect. If everyone ignored cunts like that, the world would likely have less of them.
by df
I axed a question.
I axed and axed her again.
Then I mopped the floor.
by File under "Sharpen"
UNGH! Time ta GIT down
Take it to the bridge now, y'all
Play that funky beat ...
by James Brown's Ghost of Funky Haiku GIT UP!
Haiku, u feel me,
Haiku get up in your face,
then be, like: "shut up".
by Street genius with sagging pants trying to sell you a tiny bag of something poetic