I axed a question.
I axed and axed her again.
Then I mopped the floor.
by File under "Sharpen"
UNGH! Time ta GIT down
Take it to the bridge now, y'all
Play that funky beat ...
by James Brown's Ghost of Funky Haiku GIT UP!
Haiku, u feel me,
Haiku get up in your face,
then be, like: "shut up".
by Street genius with sagging pants trying to sell you a tiny bag of something poetic
Me pone loco
Totalmente loco, meng
Haiku... me entiendes?
by Some slick-looking guy with tatoos that gets his hair cut in some silly style every week and then works on his car after knockin
Gots ta git dat thang
Gnome sane gnome talkin about?
People be like: "whut"?
by Lil Haiku Thug of Urban Erudition
But seriously...
Puerto Rican Spanish: un-
intelligible.
by Que 'tablando mi amol?
Boricua Spanish:
spoken without moving lips.
(Tropical mush-mouth)
by K tu quiere, meng?
Bee-line towards feline
Feeling rather leonine...
How many left? Nine.
by Fur and Purr of Pussy
Starkitten's Lament
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow
by Starkitten of PNW
That gesture again
You point your middle finger
Signifying what?
by Sign Language
Your gift subscription
To Better Gnomes and Hard Ons
Spring is in the air
by Thank You of You are welcome
Laid out on the couch
Cold, psychiatrist's office
Haikucinations
by Am I nuts of Or just possessed
Those little green men
Jumping like crazy, gnome sane?
Yo, it's all good brah
by Cecil Rhodes of Great Zimbabwe, NJ
Crumpled foreskin gnome
Itch that can never be scratched
Damn, made in China
by Stuck in here of China
Have you ever read
the original Gnomes book?
Gnome chicks have nice tits.
by but then, so do elves
Email from a gnome
Can't wait to stand on your lawn
And blow my whole load
by Kmart of Garden Centre
Grandpa did not know
He heard of something like that
Choking the chicken
by Geek squad
Geek Love -- Who's read it?
Katherine Dunn's wild side show.
Tough act to follow.
The original meaning of "geek" was someone in a cage with a chicken who would perform various disgusting acts, typically involving biting the head off the chicken. In the more "adult" version of course anything could happen, but those were rare. Ask your grandpa about it.
"Then the chicken-fancier came to play
With his long red beard and his sister's weird,
she drives a lorry."
--from "Mother Goose" (Jethro Tull song)
by df
Cribbing Tom Robbin's.
Even Cowgirls get The Runs.
Stick in your big thumb.
by df
Roadside attractions
Pick up all the hitchhikers
Could be interesting
by Mack of Rig
Great minds think alike
I can see the gears turning
Poetry churning
by Poet of Know it
Darth and write alone
Wait for someone to read it
Release another
by Catch and Release
Fart and stand alone
Wait for someone to walk by
Release another
by Alone
Took Glass Blowing class
Without thinking, I swallowed
Hard habit to break
by Granny of Senior Center
By writing haiku
Does cause hair to grow on brain
Have a nice day, sir
by Anonymous Poet
That Darth Figpucker
Gee whiz, he's sure a swell guy;
Soul like a fresh rose!
by Fragrances of Holiness
No can go for that
They have smelly bum holes there
I sent a drone there
by Please help
Yes, there's an island
off southern India where
no white men have gone.
But you must sneak there
at night because the coast guard
won't let you go there.
I have faith in you.
Learn to swim, garden, and fish.
You will do just fine.
by df
Around the world now
The booger I picked and flicked
Forty years ago
by Boogeyman
I'm so tired of being a good poet laureate and the other trouble that the fame monster has created for me. There must be a deserted island we could pack up and get away.
by Anonymous Poet
Used all the Kleenex
In one go. One big long blow.
From a nose so low
by Joe Bloe
Tootsie roll reflux
Another one of the perks
Try new figpudding
by We will not go until we get some
Blowing the wrong nose
The cure for the common
cold
Right under your nose
by Well Maybe a little lower of Nose
You can have NyQuil.
I'll take Robitussin-DM.
Dextromethorphan.
Pink bunny rabbits.
Robi-DM and Bailey's.
Knock back ten of those.
Six out of seven
choosy cold med abusers
drink Robi-DM.
by df
NyQuil Elmer Fudd
Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks I
When I blow my nose
by She was annoying
Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers armpits
Intoxicating
by Onions of Pits
Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers
by Onions of Pits
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
by Me of Bus
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
by Me of Bus
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
by Me of Bus
Hey Darth--God IS real.
Therefore, repent of your sin
and you'll find mercy.
by May God Invade Your Dreams
Beavis burning ants
with a magnifying glass.
God's Beavis, we're ants.
by df
The world sucks so hard,
the only evidence that
God just might exist.
Beavis in the sky.
Invisible overlord
playing frog baseball.
And we are the frogs.
Put feet first in a blender.
See our expressions.
by df
I wish God were real.
If he were, I'd join Satan.
But it's all bullshit.
What a shitty world.
Something a weirdo would make.
A real fucking nut.
A complete asshole.
Wholly Holy Assholey.
What a shit biscuit.
by df
Yes, considering
the organ with which I think,
that's probably true.
by df
You broke the law, sir
In a Public Library
Massaging your thoughts
by Librarians of Throw the book at him
The police stopped me.
I was walking down the street.
My thoughts were showing.
by df
WHENITYPEALLCAPSWITHOUTSPACESITMEANSMYKEYBOARDISBROKENANDITSTIMETOGETANEWCOMPUTERBUTIDON'THAVEENOUGHMONEYBECAUSEI'VEBEENSPENDINGITALLONDRUGSANDPROSTITUTES.
by DF
Lonely Asian girls
They love your haiku long time
Penis Chia Pet
by French Kissing of Gates of Rae Dawn Chong
Timberlake dance moves
Tyrannosaur sized boner
Ima yell"TIMBER"!
by WHENITYPEALLCAPS of IAMSCREAMING
