Darth, I wanna know
what kind of coffin you want
for the great event.
by Funereal Farts of Darth
Have you ever played
"Eenie Meanie Minie Moe"
with a millipede?
by
Ah, wise Starkitten.
Vitamin E thins the blood.
I think I'll take five.
by df of pun intended
Remember the time
You left the house with no pants
Won three legged race
by Triskelion
Please do not die yet
You are my favorite poet
Take your vitamins
by Starkitten of Pnw
They had to chop mine
An aluminum chopper
Near the toilet bowl
by Regular of Bygone days
50-ish. Yes.
One of my earliest memories is sitting backwards on the toilet so as to grab onto the tank and not fall in whilst pooping.
Sometimes I still do that.
Neck pain is back, indicative of brain bleeding starting again.
The jogging has worked! With any luck, I'll be dead soon. I'll let you know if I start to get numb on one side. Oh fun fun fun! It beats continuing on writing about farts and such. Imagine how peaceful it would be here.
by df
Half a century
Based on my calculations
Just how old is Darth?
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Do you know that guy
Passed out drunk on my staircase
Turns out it was me
by Drunk of Staircase
Nude riding a swing
Haven t bathed in a fortnight
Supertuna Moon
by Celeste Y all of Up
Nude riding a swing
Haven
by Celeste Y of Up
I lament R.I.N.O.s
horning in to gore our Prez,
fig-pucking losers.
by Forty-Five in 2020 of course
N-words be all, like
"call every bruthah N-word;
crackerz steal racist"
by Stoned Wheat Thin of White Flour Power
An apple orchard
My earliest memory
I shit my pants there
by Apple of Not far from the tree
I liked that story
And the cigarette delay too
I love story time
by Stakitten of PNW
Lament the rhino.
Horns do not make one horny.
Fucking Chinese twats!
by df
That was probably late 70s, btw.
No one said or did anything.
The couple, I have to say, showed great restraint and maturity and just realized an old southern cunt cannot change her ways and whats the point of making a scene. They handled it very well, I thought and I have to say that really earned my respect. If everyone ignored cunts like that, the world would likely have less of them.
by df
I axed a question.
I axed and axed her again.
Then I mopped the floor.
by File under "Sharpen"
UNGH! Time ta GIT down
Take it to the bridge now, y'all
Play that funky beat ...
by James Brown's Ghost of Funky Haiku GIT UP!
Haiku, u feel me,
Haiku get up in your face,
then be, like: "shut up".
by Street genius with sagging pants trying to sell you a tiny bag of something poetic
Me pone loco
Totalmente loco, meng
Haiku... me entiendes?
by Some slick-looking guy with tatoos that gets his hair cut in some silly style every week and then works on his car after knockin
Gots ta git dat thang
Gnome sane gnome talkin about?
People be like: "whut"?
by Lil Haiku Thug of Urban Erudition
But seriously...
Puerto Rican Spanish: un-
intelligible.
by Que 'tablando mi amol?
Boricua Spanish:
spoken without moving lips.
(Tropical mush-mouth)
by K tu quiere, meng?
Bee-line towards feline
Feeling rather leonine...
How many left? Nine.
by Fur and Purr of Pussy
Starkitten's Lament
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow
by Starkitten of PNW
That gesture again
You point your middle finger
Signifying what?
by Sign Language
Your gift subscription
To Better Gnomes and Hard Ons
Spring is in the air
by Thank You of You are welcome
Laid out on the couch
Cold, psychiatrist's office
Haikucinations
by Am I nuts of Or just possessed
Those little green men
Jumping like crazy, gnome sane?
Yo, it's all good brah
by Cecil Rhodes of Great Zimbabwe, NJ
Crumpled foreskin gnome
Itch that can never be scratched
Damn, made in China
by Stuck in here of China
Have you ever read
the original Gnomes book?
Gnome chicks have nice tits.
by but then, so do elves
Email from a gnome
Can't wait to stand on your lawn
And blow my whole load
by Kmart of Garden Centre
Grandpa did not know
He heard of something like that
Choking the chicken
by Geek squad
Geek Love -- Who's read it?
Katherine Dunn's wild side show.
Tough act to follow.
The original meaning of "geek" was someone in a cage with a chicken who would perform various disgusting acts, typically involving biting the head off the chicken. In the more "adult" version of course anything could happen, but those were rare. Ask your grandpa about it.
"Then the chicken-fancier came to play
With his long red beard and his sister's weird,
she drives a lorry."
--from "Mother Goose" (Jethro Tull song)
by df
Cribbing Tom Robbin's.
Even Cowgirls get The Runs.
Stick in your big thumb.
by df
Roadside attractions
Pick up all the hitchhikers
Could be interesting
by Mack of Rig
Great minds think alike
I can see the gears turning
Poetry churning
by Poet of Know it
Darth and write alone
Wait for someone to read it
Release another
by Catch and Release
Fart and stand alone
Wait for someone to walk by
Release another
by Alone
Took Glass Blowing class
Without thinking, I swallowed
Hard habit to break
by Granny of Senior Center
By writing haiku
Does cause hair to grow on brain
Have a nice day, sir
by Anonymous Poet
That Darth Figpucker
Gee whiz, he's sure a swell guy;
Soul like a fresh rose!
by Fragrances of Holiness
No can go for that
They have smelly bum holes there
I sent a drone there
by Please help
Yes, there's an island
off southern India where
no white men have gone.
But you must sneak there
at night because the coast guard
won't let you go there.
I have faith in you.
Learn to swim, garden, and fish.
You will do just fine.
by df
Around the world now
The booger I picked and flicked
Forty years ago
by Boogeyman
I'm so tired of being a good poet laureate and the other trouble that the fame monster has created for me. There must be a deserted island we could pack up and get away.
by Anonymous Poet
Used all the Kleenex
In one go. One big long blow.
From a nose so low
by Joe Bloe
Tootsie roll reflux
Another one of the perks
Try new figpudding
by We will not go until we get some
Blowing the wrong nose
The cure for the common
cold
Right under your nose
by Well Maybe a little lower of Nose
