Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 24 Days and 77403 Haiku later...

VHS, you young
whippersnapper, it's no fad.
All their gens the same.

Craving bad music,
worse food, throw trash to the wind,
and can't stand reading.

I'm not being rude.
Young and old, it's what they do.
Should I move to France?

I hate apathy.
Maybe more than mosquitoes.
They have both in spades.
Haiku # 60256, October 16, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by df
DF old friend, now
history must go on, we
fight incompetence

every few gens you
see, sometimes woodstock wins it
sometimes, World War II
Haiku # 60255, October 16, 2018 8:35 pm ET
by vhs
I'm not able to
post late night, some technical
tablet issues...see
Haiku # 60254, October 16, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by vhs
Is Chivalry dead?
Damn syllables in distress
Jumpstart my haiku?
Haiku # 60253, October 16, 2018 8:12 pm ET
by Starkitten of Haiku Highway Milepost 575
Teach them Haiku moves
You show up. Dance like Tom Cruise
In Fruit of the Loom

VHS will pay
Top dollar. Haiku scholar.
Recruits drink baluts
Haiku # 60252, October 16, 2018 4:27 pm ET
by Secret Assistant to VHS of Voice in his head
I have lost all faith.
Twerking: the new school subject.
Pole dancing is next.

Government sponsored.
They seem to think this is art.
Love the Philippines.

Such a backwards place.
Litter, bad food, pollution,
whores don't use condoms.

If they spent as much money on health care education, and trash pick-up programs and infrastructure as they did on "dancing" in school programs and awards ceremonies for "who has the cleanest fingernails" (or something equally as stupid), it might be a good place to live. Other than that, stay away. Best advice I can give you. Philippines bad. Thailand good. Might pay Korea a visit some day. Korean food kicks ass.

Thailand has come a long way in 20 years. Serious improvements. The Philippines just keeps sinking deeper and deeper into the dark ages. Living there will make you lose all hope in humanity.
Haiku # 60251, October 16, 2018 2:54 pm ET
by df
Carved our initials
Century old Balete Tree
Put up tire swing
Haiku # 60250, October 16, 2018 1:55 pm ET
by Witchy Island
Split. Bite size pieces
Safest way to eat hot dog
(Mega Jumbo size)
Haiku # 60249, October 16, 2018 1:48 pm ET
by Admirer
The Siquijor whores
selling souvenirs to fend
off evil spirits.

I just laugh and say,
"It doesn't work or else I
would be kept away."

Then they tell me where
I can buy some cooked children.
Gotta love witches.

Needs barbecue sauce.
Other than that it's not bad.
Island of devils.
Haiku # 60248, October 16, 2018 1:27 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I want my head pierced.
Steve Martin's arrow, but real.
That would be extreme.

Open heart tattoo.
If you want to prove your love.
Talk about extreme!
Haiku # 60247, October 16, 2018 1:18 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Extreme body mod.
Only split end is penis.
Someone tell me why.
Haiku # 60246, October 16, 2018 1:14 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
He's such a nice guy
He's got the best hair ever
No split ends in sight
Haiku # 60245, October 16, 2018 12:43 pm ET
by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome of Philippines souvenir shop
Figpucker. Mansion
Truckload of Conditioner
Glad to blow this load
Haiku # 60244, October 16, 2018 12:17 pm ET
by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome
Snaggletooth Blow Job
Breathing new life into old game
Turtle Head pokes out
Haiku # 60243, October 16, 2018 12:08 pm ET
by Kennebunkport resident of Undisclosed
the old life is gone
the new one will never know
time burns all bridges
Haiku # 60242, October 16, 2018 10:46 am ET
by df
*they're... shoot me now.
Haiku # 60241, October 16, 2018 10:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tortoises mating.
Parents say that its leap frog.
No, mom, their fucking.
Haiku # 60240, October 16, 2018 10:26 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Deadliest of snot.
Exploding monkey boogers.
Bursting zoo windows.
Haiku # 60239, October 16, 2018 6:19 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I think I am gay.
I just drank two apple beers.
What's more gay than that?!
Haiku # 60238, October 16, 2018 4:15 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
There's a huge problem.
It's right down inside my pants.
The back, not the front.
Haiku # 60237, October 16, 2018 4:11 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Asleep at the wheel
Chaos! Noise Lights Farts....Steering
Long haul guardrail graze
Haiku # 60236, October 16, 2018 2:59 am ET
by Mack. Looking crazy and handsome of Mack's Truck
Semi-Consciousness
Breathing Farts. Having visions
A Back end blow out
Haiku # 60235, October 16, 2018 12:45 am ET
by Mack of Rest Area (with showers)
Driving and thinking
Mighty strange thoughts. Full Moon.
Practice Thriller Dance
Haiku # 60234, October 16, 2018 12:41 am ET
by Mack
Pissing in a can
Then chuck it out my window
I love truck driving
Haiku # 60233, October 16, 2018 12:36 am ET
by Mack
Whiskey on the floor
Falling for you. Falling apart
Giving you my fart
Haiku # 60232, October 16, 2018 12:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
There's someone I know
Went to Africa said the
Pygmies have great weed
Haiku # 60231, October 16, 2018 12:23 am ET
by Surprising Facts of Africa
Get Help. Sign up now.
Hair Conditioner Anon
Friend of Vidal S.
Haiku # 60230, October 16, 2018 12:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Freedom from desire
It irritates some people
I say good riddance
Haiku # 60229, October 16, 2018 12:02 am ET
by MONARCH of Happy Fun Making Time
Leftovers from lunch
Bento box spread wide open
Microbes hard at work
Haiku # 60228, October 15, 2018 9:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pie on windowsill
Will it attract a hobo?
Or a line of ants?
Haiku # 60227, October 15, 2018 9:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sometimes I just wish
I had a huge problem like
The one in your pants
Haiku # 60226, October 15, 2018 9:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God is watching you
Seen your Amazon Wish List
More conditioner?!!!
Haiku # 60225, October 15, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nanny Goat's got goals
Stealing shirts off the clothesline
Bleating, skipping around
Haiku # 60224, October 15, 2018 9:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The men with huge feet
Will be there soon, as you know
Huge feet and a big....
Haiku # 60223, October 15, 2018 9:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Feeling organic.
Goat milk granola climax.
Chunky and funky.
Haiku # 60222, October 15, 2018 9:24 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
God hates us I know.
Cows don't make chocolate milk.
Mosquitoes exist.
Haiku # 60221, October 15, 2018 8:43 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
well leave them leaves a
bit alone they end up on
the neighbor's yard way
Haiku # 60220, October 15, 2018 6:35 pm ET
by vhs
Lazy and ice cold
I just want to be the first
To climb Mt. Haikuji
Haiku # 60219, October 15, 2018 2:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Witchy Autumn Spell
Wind blow leaves to neighbor's yard
Can't rake them. Too hard.
Haiku # 60218, October 15, 2018 2:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
recipe for love
A bottomless cup of coffee
Topless barista
Haiku # 60217, October 15, 2018 1:59 pm ET
by Black Coffee of In bed
Standing in line now
Free samples of the worms day
Fly out your way soon
Haiku # 60216, October 15, 2018 12:34 pm ET
by Robin of Your yard
*Fertilized.
Haiku # 60215, October 15, 2018 10:29 am ET
by Christ, I suck.
*EasterBated
Haiku # 60214, October 15, 2018 10:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chocolate Jesus.
This is My Body and Blood.
Cream filled, bite the head.

Eaterbated Peeps.
Fertiled eggs will soon hatch
a Devilish plan.
Haiku # 60213, October 15, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Fat Drug Her Pick
And finally, this
Wind is blowing my mind off
The thing it sits on
Haiku # 60212, October 15, 2018 2:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Carrying my phone
Looking cool as fuck all, eh?
Watch me talk on it
Haiku # 60211, October 15, 2018 2:38 am ET
by Cool
Writing my poem
About the new haiku smell
Feeling so lucky
Haiku # 60210, October 15, 2018 2:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Forecast calls for wind
Blowing straight out of your junk
And out the back end

Tie down the whole street
Seek out cover and good coffee
Wait out this weather
Haiku # 60209, October 15, 2018 2:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hair conditioner
We know what you do with it
So, stop it right now
Haiku # 60208, October 15, 2018 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Delicatessen
Genoa hard salami?
Comes with own mayo
Haiku # 60207, October 15, 2018 1:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >