Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 157 Days and 77035 Haiku later...

What's your favorite
penile elongation
technique you have tried?

The brick and kite string
has done wonders for my schlong.
It's gained two inches!

It's also turned black,
but women love a black cock,
although it stinks some.
Haiku # 55537, November 25, 2016 7:35 pm ET
by 5-7-5 24-7-365
i do? I did? well
if that happened, them dolls would
slap me in the face...
Haiku # 55536, November 25, 2016 12:40 pm ET
by vhs
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55535, November 25, 2016 10:58 am ET
by titirtpi of USA
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55534, November 25, 2016 10:58 am ET
by piyppoii of USA
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55533, November 25, 2016 10:57 am ET
by wtuwytww of USA
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55532, November 25, 2016 10:55 am ET
by tuuirote of USA
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55531, November 25, 2016 10:55 am ET
by wrteiyet of USA
Definitely pent topic matter, appreciate it for selective information.
Haiku # 55530, November 25, 2016 10:54 am ET
by uouyooye of USA
Thank you for that in-
-formation anonymous!
I understand now!
Haiku # 55529, November 25, 2016 7:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Do not say "crakers".
Use "Saltine Americans".
Get with the times, dude!
Haiku # 55528, November 25, 2016 6:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
VHS is a
Very Horny Scallywag
with muppet sex dolls.

Haiku # 55527, November 25, 2016 6:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have seen the signs.
Impending doom will now come.
In the guise of gifts.
Haiku # 55526, November 25, 2016 6:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Who is V H S?
Why does he/she post so much?
At least he/she is


Not spamming

I hate haiku
Haiku # 55525, November 24, 2016 8:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
well peace and stuffiing
and TURKEY and apple pies
plus cheese and crackers

and if Darth were here
he would go on about there
being lots of poop

AFTER eating all that
Haiku # 55524, November 24, 2016 1:28 pm ET
by vhs
i am missing the
Darth and all his endless poop
jokes, but such is poop
Haiku # 55523, November 24, 2016 11:18 am ET
by vhs
i wonder if we
need boldness in the face of
all these damned rules made
Haiku # 55522, November 23, 2016 11:31 pm ET
by vhs
she said words can't hurt
but like a razor to the wrist
they cut the spirit

more than the flesh, my
soul bleeds from the psychic wounds
of this rotten world
Haiku # 55521, November 23, 2016 11:21 pm ET
by vhs
how do i say fuck
off in engrish to a thing
spitting out spam in

china somewhere, um
off fuck??? dishonorable but
we live in zeeze times, ya?
Haiku # 55520, November 23, 2016 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
Elizabeth sleeps
dreaming of wild adventures
cat purrs at her feet
Haiku # 55501, November 23, 2016 1:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
how much engrish can
one man stand, before all your
base belong to us???
Haiku # 55500, November 22, 2016 12:31 pm ET
by vhs
That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could be this varied. Be certain to keep writing.
Haiku # 55499, November 22, 2016 2:59 am ET
by iurorrit of USA
That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could be this varied. Be certain to keep writing.
Haiku # 55498, November 22, 2016 2:59 am ET
by trottrer of USA
That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could be this varied. Be certain to keep writing.
Haiku # 55497, November 22, 2016 2:59 am ET
by wpyioewp of USA
That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could be this varied. Be certain to keep writing.
Haiku # 55496, November 22, 2016 2:56 am ET
by otouuyep of USA
no like computers
I have password. No worky!
Computers, no like
Haiku # 55495, November 21, 2016 8:03 pm ET
by studboy of Los Angeles, Calif
amazing Wallace
lemon ricotta fritters
go for brunch and drinks
Haiku # 55493, November 21, 2016 1:51 pm ET
by studboy of Los Angeles, CA
i think i know that
guy, stress tests and all that cal
i want to survive
Haiku # 55492, November 21, 2016 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
Hello!
Haiku # 55490, November 21, 2016 12:40 pm ET
by powwteiu of USA
raging mower hat
fat plankton scented mouth hole
shark skin pajamas
Haiku # 55484, November 20, 2016 4:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
so bad haiku just
happens to be a Scorpio
that explains a lot
Haiku # 55483, November 20, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs of also a scorpio
even though i'm late
happy birthday bad haiku
awesome two decades
Haiku # 55482, November 20, 2016 7:30 am ET
by ash
Time to go to sleep
Tomorrow will be better
No more Taco Bell
Haiku # 55481, November 20, 2016 3:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
it takes a very
long time to develop this
level of slacker
Haiku # 55480, November 19, 2016 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
Why so immature?
Haiku # 55479, November 19, 2016 12:49 pm ET
by 18 year old
it's either a big
dadaist art project or
dog men are demons
Haiku # 55478, November 19, 2016 11:13 am ET
by vhs
Woop dang poooo dingle
Country living, no mingle
Way the fuck out here
Haiku # 55476, November 19, 2016 6:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
reaction pony
phony money election
an ounce weighs a ton
Haiku # 55475, November 19, 2016 5:31 am ET
by Blamshingo Blebloba
do you love me chad
why do you treat me so bad
do not make me sad
Haiku # 55470, November 19, 2016 1:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Woody is insane
he is the worst person lel
adam is better
Haiku # 55464, November 18, 2016 4:57 pm ET
by Adam
A leaf falls gently
Autumn has begun people
I JUST POOPED MY PANTS
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH
Haiku # 55462, November 18, 2016 4:49 pm ET
by DON'T of JUST DON'T
This is not a haiku
I am sooooo funny
Hehehvdhehdhehhdhehhdbddb
Haiku # 55458, November 18, 2016 1:24 pm ET
by Lolnope l
I am a robot
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP
Haiku # 55457, November 18, 2016 1:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it seems i am but
alone and here and would i
but kick this spam off...
Haiku # 55456, November 18, 2016 12:59 pm ET
by vhs
most lovely thing we
got to post on website free
boner pills sold here...XXX
Haiku # 55454, November 17, 2016 12:31 pm ET
by vhs
where is all the spam
coming from, here, or there or
what gives of this horde?
Haiku # 55453, November 17, 2016 10:51 am ET
by vhs
out the lime in the
coconut fury present
bananas beavis
Haiku # 55450, November 16, 2016 2:56 pm ET
by vhs
Hey, want some candy?
Chocolate, gum, lollipops
Here in my pocket
Haiku # 55444, November 16, 2016 8:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i wish i had the
way to block all this spam since
what good does prayer do?
Haiku # 55424, November 14, 2016 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
"this is how things were"
versus this is how things are
"how could these things be"
Haiku # 55407, November 13, 2016 12:44 pm ET
by vhs
we did have it too
easy in gen x but we
also had it, that

space, that cake, that world
the idea of closure and
the end of history....
Haiku # 55406, November 13, 2016 12:13 pm ET
by vhs
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