Banana muffins.
That is what I want right now.
They will open soon.

I will get breakfast
where the girls have big titties
and serve strong coffee.

I'm craving candy.
Could I perhaps be pregnant?
My balls are swollen.

It has gone to sleep.
Please try not to wake it up.
All night erection.

Don't forget coffee.
But that goes without saying.
Not that instant shit!

I would like some eggs,
toast, jelly, and three flap jacks.
Don't call them pancakes.

Fuck, I tried to stop.
Self-referencing poetry
is the worst of all.

If this is art, then...
well, I just don't fucking know...
McD is gourmet.

I'll just post some shit.
Then I'll post even more shit.
Just to take up space.

I apologize.
That was just a bit too gross.
I'm not serious.

I am so hungry
that I could even eat some
Philippino food.

Marilyn Monroe
was really a gay old man
with zits on his ass.

The toilet gets clogged
ev'ry time I take a shit
regardless of size.

I should be working
instead of doing this shit
but I do not care.

She removes her teeth
ev'ry time she sucks my dick.
Laugh all you want to.

I need some mushrooms.
Yellow caps grow around here.
Good carabao poop.

I will not wear shoes.
All day long I'll go barefoot.
Cleaning the pig stalls.

Lithium was in
original 7-Up
to bring you back down.

Original Coke
made with good old real cocaine.
Where's the recipe?

Now it is half done.
But I'd like to masturbate
then have a long rest.

Satisfying hack.
The luggi splats on the wall.
And there it will dry.

I'm touching myself.
At least I think that that's me.
No wait, that's not me.

Rape Charles Dickens.
Go back in time and fuck him.
Poverty is dull.

Please pinch my nipples,
slap my butt, and call me Sue.
Or else I will poo.

I'm fucking tired.
Up all Goddamn night working.
This will help me sleep.

Lizards don't jack off.
I'm glad I'm not a lizard.
But I would fuck one.

Her ass can jiggle.
Just like strawberry Jello.
Bill Cosby likes that.

There's a video
of Trump fucking Hillary.
Wikileaks dot org.

Algebra is dumb.
Chicks do not dig algebra.
They like giant cocks.

She didn't just cum.
Vaginal detonation
is what I'd call it.

I'll track down the
spam website owners and send
pics of my ass hole.

Are they watching me?
Will they end this posting streak?
Spam free just one day.

How hard did you laugh
when you saw a sumo match
the very first time?

Buy a pogo stick.
Bounce three times around the block.
Do it in speedos.

Evolution's goof:
Flooding the lungs with mucus
to fight a disease.

Try dumpster diving.
You'll find some amazing shit.
Sorority house.

Hermit crabs are dumb.
They should not crawl in the street.
They have a death wish.

I do not like dogs.
They shit all over the place
and make lots of noise.

When the sun comes up
I will run outside naked
screaming mock Chinese.

What's the world record
for the largest dildo used
up a human twat?

scrotal sweat rotting
in unchanged adult diapers
after 10 hours

mechanical wife
polyurethane love doll
she can make sushi

green pea papaya
grapefruit sour sop smoothie
tastes like pussy puke

Did you ever puke
while doing cunnilingus?
Did I spell that right?

Their mom has nice socks
Grandma once drove a tractor
Uncle Ted eats beets

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How did that happen?
The internet gods love farts.
And so was twice sent.

I went spelunking.
My fart reverberated.
The bats were not pleased.

I went spelunking.
My fart reverberated.
The bats were not pleased.