How hard did you laugh
when you saw a sumo match
the very first time?

Buy a pogo stick.
Bounce three times around the block.
Do it in speedos.

Evolution's goof:
Flooding the lungs with mucus
to fight a disease.

Try dumpster diving.
You'll find some amazing shit.
Sorority house.

Hermit crabs are dumb.
They should not crawl in the street.
They have a death wish.

I do not like dogs.
They shit all over the place
and make lots of noise.

When the sun comes up
I will run outside naked
screaming mock Chinese.

What's the world record
for the largest dildo used
up a human twat?

scrotal sweat rotting
in unchanged adult diapers
after 10 hours

mechanical wife
polyurethane love doll
she can make sushi

green pea papaya
grapefruit sour sop smoothie
tastes like pussy puke

Did you ever puke
while doing cunnilingus?
Did I spell that right?

Their mom has nice socks
Grandma once drove a tractor
Uncle Ted eats beets

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How did that happen?
The internet gods love farts.
And so was twice sent.

I went spelunking.
My fart reverberated.
The bats were not pleased.

I went spelunking.
My fart reverberated.
The bats were not pleased.

Earth needs a huge war.
Bioweapons are preferred.
But nukes are okay.

Death by paper cuts.
That is what they all deserve.
Cuts by crisp C-notes.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

It would be so cool
if kangaroos learned language
and carried pistols.

I really like your writing style, great info, thank you for putting up

On the next big fight
with my evil fat-assed wife,
I'm leaving that bitch.

Bananas are good.
And they are quite good for you.
Eat four ev'ry day.

Porn porn porn porn porn.
Porn porn porn porn porn porn porn.
Porn porn porn porn porn.

Incredible ass.
I saw one swimming today.
She saw me looking.

Lugis are slimy.
They'd be good for jacking off.
Can your dick catch cold?

Vinegary balls.
I just had to write that down.
Just don't ask me why.

I know this is strange.
Lately I pinch my nipples.
I used to hate that.

Just imagine it:
Fifty shades of bad haiku
without any spam.

I should post nude pics
of myself eating ice cream
with a dead tuna.

Popped like a cream puff.
Testicular infection.
Imagine the stench.

I should get money.
My poems are just that bad.
Drop them on China.

Goddamn this suck ass.
I spend all this fucking time
and I don't get paid.

I have throat VD.
Should not have gone down on wife.
It stinks anyway.

Fucking power's out.
Lucky I have a backup.
Unlike my penis.

Can I get fifty
all in a row without spam?
If so, I'll jack off.

The mojito drink
is about as gay as sperm
but has less protein.

Buckets of yak snot
are used to make mayonnaise
for your BLT.

Crocodile cock
preserved with strong vinegar
can cure HIV.

This is so easy.
I can keep it up all day.
Haiku, not my dick.

Vaginas are bad.
I mean they are pure evil.
They produce children.

My penis fell off.
If you see it let me know.
Its name is Tiny.

I saw a spaceship.
ET then abducted me.
But no anal probe.

Do you fuck chickens?
I enjoy fucking chickens.
So does your grandpa.

'been to hell and back
went with your mom to smoke crack
It was a fun time

My cat is happy
tail up run to bathroom
faucet water love
great web

I've been to Hell and
It's roughly as bearable
As this place

Symbiotic plant
Not here to hurt anything
Just wants to hang out