who shot first, greedo
or han solo? and why do
we worry on these

issues

A basket of squid.
Breaded, crispy, and deep-fried.
Mon Calamari.

Wasting energy.
What humans were made to do.
Why else are you here?

So much energy.
Wasting it on foolish things.
It is what we do.

Drink cup of coffee
Shove hot pocket down your pants
You'll get same result

Are your testes sad?
You need new Testicle Perk!
As seen on TV.

Make your balls happy.
Order now and receive a
FREE scrotum warmer.

changes are strangest
innovation shakes things up
retro, innovation?

in the future we
will listen to albums on
vinyl record disks

it goes away but
like anything it takes time
the mind gets cloudy

i don't quite feel it
too early in the morning
vertigo, fatigue

Do not fool yourself
Space aliens don't need shit
That's why they ain't here

Verile roosters, mate.
It's not love, it's barnyard porn.
The eggs are quite good.

But if you make quiche,
I'll lop off your criminals
to feed the new chicks.

Legal cockfighting.
Losing lots of cash while drunk
in South East Asia.

You may scoff at it.
Better times cannot be had.
Well, unless you win.

Give up your body.
The space aliens need you.
Anal probes aren't bad.

While in paradise,
life sucks the life out of me,
and not one thing else.

Life without sleep sucks.
It sucks like a Bangkok whore.
But it won't swallow.

Bleeding hedgehogs scream
The hot August sun beats down
The lawnmower wins

Sterile Chickens Mate
Their love produce no offspring
How can I eat eggs?

Haiku is old tool
Landlord fool peasant with it
Not me, Chairman Mao!

is it a game of
poetry pong one pass to
another, blip to blip?

back in the day there
was a text game of that sci
fi comedy with

the depressed robot
to hold tea and no tea at
the same time was seen

as deep philosophy
i think that's all i have to
say about that.. but

are we having fun
yet, well yes, well no percieved
believe it all true

Surf frozen water
Drop from a helicopter
Snowy mountain top

The surf board needs wax.
But will the shops be open?
Wax or no, surf's up.

well it's a busy
day for restaurants but of
course george carlin

would say something like
that as well, and now i have
to fill out five more...

Happy Mother's Day
Another fake holiday
Made up for profit

i am told by my
friend in NL they're closing
libraries. for say

budget reasons, i
think some people need to have
their careers put back

into fast food and
not politics because they
might actually work

i do have an old
blue towel that says don't
panic sewed into it

well i have seen some
pan galactic recipees
i think I'd try one

The girl was gorgeous.
She was way out of his league.
He tried anyway.

Will you celebrate
Intergalactic Towel Day
and in what manner?

I will have some drinks
and wave my towel at the sky
for spaceships to see.

If they are green ships,
well, that is okay with me;
they'd like my poems.

hmm more spam well who
or what posts these spam hellos
and what can stop them

grim resolute and
determined at the gates of
Mordor, Ragnarok

maybe we should say
revive rowan and martin's
laugh in, fears your

Goldie Hawn fantasies

Go lion hunting.
But use a paint ball rifle.
Shoot them in the balls.

Now that would be sport.
Four in five dentists agree.
Fluoride filled dart guns.

We're on a mission
to eradicate pesky
canine cavities.

well i will write stuff
might be funnier when i
feel better, sometimes

you know good night sleep
hentai in the morning and
golf in the evening

I don't like Star Wars.
I used to, but now I don't;
it is too PG.

It needs some sex scenes.
Ugly Sith using The Force
to screw hot young girls.

Blowing up planets,
that is just so yesterday.
It needs something else.

Cannibalism
or harvesting live bodies
for a sacrifice.

Not very Disney,
But Star Wars VII bored me
with passe evil.

The change inside me
is worse than the change outside,
unlike Bruce Jenner.

I find myself bored,
wanting a harem and drugs.
But, alas, I can't.

I wish that I could.
Responsibility sucks.
Damn mid-life crisis.

Thermodynamics
and social interactions
increase entropy.

Change always happens.
No, it is not always good.
Most often it's not.

Is this news to you?
Do you expect something else?
What is it you want?

You're too old for this.
Fairy tales are not real.
Go outside and scream.

sex toy called the "darth
invader" now how will jj
incorporate that in

the next star wars film

i can't make this one
up though "how i stole johnny
depp's alien gf"

real title, real book
really i might order that
celebrity space girls

but there's the alien
girl fetish, love her tendrils
on her head you know

jabba the hutts gal
he threw to the rancor but
imagine twi lek gf!

she's green, what's not to love?

i am having a
hard time with change if you must
i hate change, it's just

life, i'm tired, where's it
going to go, hopefully it
gets better, seasons

change, flowers bloom and
well i am at a loss for words
but here's a few more

i like the "whining"
existential calling card
kurt cobain is dead

the foo fighters live
there you go, now what to say
i'm glad they made it

one example which i
am more observational
someone wanted to

be a rubber sex
drone, whatever that is and
here's a post on

that from yours truly

i might end up with
a haiku about how awful
baby puke is now

its not whining its
kvetching, and you? what''s this
time you come from, the

sociopathic boom?
behind each "whine" is a thought
solution, idea

I can't please you dear
God i can't. i will write what
i will, damn the torpoedos

Just write one haiku
about farts or baby puke.
This is your homework.

Or your therapy.
But you must do it right now.
You will feel better.

Here is the punch line:
{drum roll} Old man on the net
thinks it's serious.

This is not funny.
But it is a running joke.
Now you must lighten the fuck up and write a haiku that is not a bunch of goddamn whining about how you're getting old and having a hard time with the newer generation online and blah blah blah...

a whole generation
doesn't read like i did or
value real space either

I'm growing old and
miss enjoying what i did
when i was younger

the punch line is has
the internet made people
stupid yet we're here

Here we share our minds.
They aren't always what we'd like.
My man snatch itches.

Telling yourself jokes?
How can a person do that?
You know the punch line