Gather night crawlers.
Do not cultivate tape worms.
You deracinist!

without bad haiku
as if from fertile night-soil
deracinated

no more letter i
we must eliminate it
also capital$

emotion discharge
will make you feel much better
do it here and now

With each breath you take
you suck in one of my farts.
Ain't chemistry great?!

... Well, not a whole fart,
but thousands of molecules
that were in my farts.

Science is awesome!
I even get paid for this.
I'm a dirty whore.

why do we play with
fire in some time periods
and get all peachy

gee whizzy, gluten
free in the next one? is it
irony is dull?

words just spill out on
years of keeping them trapped in
bukokski's sickness

we weave a web with
the words wandering where why
wonders, wasting time

Mystery is solved.
So that's how I got pregnant...
by sniffing your farts.

I'm afraid my work
Will be rehashes of some
Book I'm reading...word

I wish I could write as
Well as you all, but my star
Fell to Earth, wasted.

Fart Haiku #1538
My farts rape your nose.
Penetrate and violate.
Perhaps impregnate.

Here is a theory:
More than half of these haiku
composed on toilet

Pick them by their hair.
Or pick them by skin color.
Or pick them by how beautiful and/or large their genitalia are, in fact that should be a requirement, and we need a constitutional amendment saying that all public officials must have starred in at least 3 popular porn movies before being allowed to take office.

These are modern times!
Pick your leaders by hair style.
Make sure your vote counts

What is there to say?
You need meaning in your life?
Then get off the net!

Kill kill kill kill kill
Everybody kill kill
Then cha-cha and nap

Empty testicles.
Small erection rejected.
Try to snip it off.

Empty beer bottles
Application rejected
Try to sleep it off

This computer sucks.
Toshiba is boa shit.
Anagrams are truth.

Ba-Jay-Jay Biters.
Think stink pink rinky-dink kink.
Ham and cheese bagel.

you spam me long time
janis blow you from the site
like a ping pong ball

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Fucking computer.
"Please re-enter your password."
Re-enter my ass!

What is that sweet song?
The ronin had eaten beans.
Does your nose not work?

haiku sweet haiku
onanistic idiom
take us as we come

I want to burn all
poems that begin with "I".
Self-centered garbage!

I don't remember.
Is your mom a jelly fish?
Maybe I was drunk.

The talking dog said,
"Darth Figpucker touched your mom,"
and then I woke up.

What did the dogs say?
Was it a symposium
on the Higgs boson?

We don't need numbers.
They can be represented
by spatial figures.

The operators
take on entirely new
whatchamacallits.

The thingy-ma-jigs
are brutally randomized
like your mom's boyfriends.

our moist tongues explore
then I wake, soaked on the lawn
your sprinklers are on

Howdy there stranger.
Want to hear about my dream?
It had talking dogs.

night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers
and trade warmth for dreams

night ends on a truce
we sleep by dying embers and trade warmth for dreams

Ash, you crack me up.
Laughter's much needed these days.
Damn the government.

trim my turbinates
ream my nasal ostia
do it till i bleed

Cincinnati Reds
New York Knicks, Dallas Cowboys
Edmonton Oilers

I understand, Ash.
I was also raped by the
school librarian.

Give away your stuff.
A computer and surfboard;
this is all you need.

long words are okay
as they accurately paint
my recent trauma

The use of large words
do not make for good haiku;
simplicity's lost.

And I'm forced to use
the Google dictionary.
Septoplasty porn!

Damn your big vocab.!
Some things cannot be unseen.
It's all your fault, ash!

so predictably
the pain of septoplasty
is nostril dharma

rotten ocean air
wafting like old walrus farts
assaulting nostrils

Mad men make moonshine
Sad sisters selling sunshine
Bad beatnik bongos

This ain't calculus.
Food is neither tangential
nor is it for thought.

Please focus your mind.
Find meaning in the chaos.
You will see it's there.

Post pics of you wife
in her bra and underwear
then get back to me.

it isn't just me
says clang association
isn't poetry

in australia
psychiatrists might compare
echolalia

but is this valid ?
or tangential food for thought
eat my word salad

I'm sublime in grime.
Give a dime to the lime mime.
It's no crime to rhyme.

(But it should be.)

Climb slime prime-time chime
"Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme."
El-Garfunk On-Sim.

if rhymes go askew
honourable thing to do
haiku seppuku

Now don't you forget
Rhyming can lead to regret
Making you upset