Fat cellulite thighs.
They wobble over my face.
Farts inflate my lungs.

Over the same ground
so many others have walked.
Maybe some will run...

A field of new snow,
once trod upon by others...
I walk a new path

Who knew I was here?
The snow erases my tracks
soon after I leave

Shatner was the best.
None of that "engage" bullshit.
Yea America.

Speaking of vomit,
You ever get oral sex,
and she pukes on you?

That is good because
your vomit inspires me to
write more bad haiku

So carry on

Your haiku are bad.
I mean really fucking bad.
They make me vomit.

Prefer hot or cold?
Difficult to chose. Too much
of either, you lose.

frozenobyte @cenobyte
Wow! Is that more snow?
Winter forecasts are a bitch.
Snow, Cold, Cold, Snow, Fuck.

Hey. Turn up the heat.
Motherfucking feet are blue
God, I hate winter.

They will not eat us.
Think about the foreign germs.
We'd give them the runs.

I want to believe
Others from another world
Won't want to eat us

UFO Utube
Pure truth documentary
deep conspiracy

so you're trying to
tell me that dark matter is
shit? that would explain

quite a bit

What is wrong with me?!?!
That was an eight, seven, five.
I'm just a douchebag

that cannot count.

Hey, look at me... I'm imitating someone else who can't fit their haiku in standard form.... I'm so cool!...

What do you call it when a douchebag imitates a dingleberry?
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Stupid!

I'm it ation that is not flattery is called sarcasm that goes splattery like the runs, I'm having funs with my incontinent buns. It doesn't fecal matter. Dark fecal matter. Call Carl Sagan, oh shit, he's dead. But he was hot when he lived. I'd have tapped that ass... filled him up with billions of billons .... just kidding.

Is it insanity if you know you're insane?

Seven, Seven, five.
Oops! Send me back to preschool.
Will they change Depends?

What's does an old man taste like?
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Depends!

Mandingleberry Ebola.
Toxic skidmarks stain my soul.
Right next to my hole.

Dingleberry pie
Complete with douchebag icing
Simply delicious

Ditto! So you can please
take your own Goddamned advice.
And shut the fuck up!

Keep your opinions.
Shove them way deep up your ass.
Maybe they will sprout.

What tree would then grow?
It's a dingleberry tree!
You'd own an orchard!

Because of all the tiny little opinions you throw at ppl, each a seed planted in your fat old lilly-white ass growing a giant dingleberry tree!

Opinions are like assholes-- we've all got them and no one wants to hear yours.

Shame may make you feel
Only pain makes someone real
So then squeal pig squeal

I swallow my teeth
Fighting devils deep beneath
Come on up suckers

So I had sex with
Phyllis Diller in a boat
I am not ashamed

I'm tired of you
stop answering me, i want you
to become silent

it takes two baby
and I don't wanna play with this
I might catch sumetin

You'll shut up when you learn all you have to do is get fucked.

you're fucked when i learn all i have to do is shut up

The basement is nice.
Try sleeping under a bridge.
Or abandoned house.

observation, as we
get older we don't give a shit
or give too much of one

system overflows
still lives in the basement
added up to nothing

I showed some restraint.
At least I didn't post pics!
...Google image search.

EEWWWW LOL! NASTY!!!

No! Not that! Please no!
I'll do anything! Don't go!
Really! I mean it!

I have a strange feeling if I leave
you're going to be the only person posting here for a while

Yes, butt-chugging's gross.
College kids do it mostly.
Look it up, it's real.

Real gross, that's to say.
Can't handle reality?
Then you go away.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/25/us/tennessee-fraternity-suspended/index.html

Alcohol poison
Through an anal enema
What fun, Kappa Delts!

Stau si ma uitam pe net si cautam un site de socializate pentru persoane ca noi seropozitive si am realizat ca nu se gasesc. Asa nu face decat sa ma intristeze caci suntem multi care ne dorim sa ne inprietenim si piate chiar o relatie mai stransa. Eu caut inca jumatatea pot spune despre mine ca norocul in veata nu prea ma ocolit dar nici nu ma insotit pre mult, pote nici nu iam acordat prea multe sanse.

dude, you just ruined
the website for me with that post
i wish you'd go away

I done got fucked up!
Butt-guzzled some paint thinner.
My farts smell like pine.

What a hangover!
And I shat out three tumors.
A cure for cancer?

she said you can't talk
about religion or sex
or politics, a

classic housewife
of course, which is why most things
on the air are food

Resolve to evolve
beyond the need to respond
to shitty drivers

what if one types the
following "baahaiku.com?"
file not found error

(new year's start)
resolutions anyone?

One more shitty year.
It ends with a muffled flush.
I, for one, am glad.

Seven syllables:
Explosive diarrhea.
Did I spell that right?

What to do this night?
I'll dress up my favorite pig
with lipstick and gown.

And shoot fireworks
at the neighbors' wooden roof.
I be so evil.

Fuck, I hate Win 8.
I mean, Vista was better!
At least it's no Mac.

the universe does
not keep time or calendars
time is relative

happy new year

another year gone
just another day over
like all of the rest

such tired poetry
iamback pentameters
that need to take five

Hey that one guy thinks he's a joker talking smak about someone imitating me. Anyone who helps me perpetuate the great gayness of their anus and having a StarWars themed wedding back inna day is good with me! w00t! w00t!

Balls ,Nippress Ash in gay StarWars Wedding back inna day. w00t! Jan-ass the Hutt officiating and the boyz as StormPooper and Darth Gaydar. w00t!

Ash Nippress connection equals gay homosexuals.....

i bring you presents
our relationship is short
then i go away

If I watch candles
Will you pay me with angry
Donkey cough money?

No!
That's dumb
Why should we?
You should do it first.
After all, it's your idea.

Oh shit! I just did it. Well played you clever bastard.

Let's get higher than
John Denver on a jet plane
Except for he's dead.