your angry wit is
a dose of medicine to
a world gone dormant

that is what I want
to see, this place to keep the
tradition alive

the wit of the net
as it once was, not this thing
sanitized, made flat

I'm so serious
Someone is sitting somewhere
and this is their job.

So that ViaSPAMgra
Pretty sure it's not a bot
Mechanical Turk?

You know what I love
About this old old damned site?
Just its existence.

not just at easter
in one form or another
we all bear our cross

well at least old me
hasn't lost the art of that
beloved trick the typo

I liked the idea
people had memories but
now social chagers

want to change the one
great meaning what it means to
be "human" dear grace

well as long as I'm
here irritating people like
I've done for years then

maybe the insult
meter can keep the natives
finding new ideas

my inspiration
has become less vigorous
on many levels

but must the story
end, the narrative die and
the words stop coming

this place is dead

just like kerouac
said to bill lush, you can't quit
the shakespeare squad man

well this is how it
becomes quieter, the board
becomes a ghetto

alright then, fuck it
morons abound and robots
I quit, goddammit

Terrorism

Cultists unleashing
into underground tunnels
canisters of sarin

Anaphylaxis

Mast cells releasing
into human blood vessels
granules of histamine

today's generation
someone said we are the last
to know what albums

are, and so Gen Y
seems to like albums for
some reason...

God bless Gen Y about albums

in the world of run
away machinery don't
we miss "irony?"

I resign to show
up the pariah gives his
regards, spam as art

essence in absence
a vacant hallway, no doors
still I remain... torn

t'ignore the spammer
becomes easier with age
I miss Drophammer

plumes of smoke ascend
kiss the ring motherfucker
from my wedding vow

eat, smell, fuck, fart, shit, fly, be free.
Where stinks the tuna land, I do love the.
Upside backwards, keep rolling still.
Pop the green, 10 milligram, fun-loving pill.
Whiskey guzzle, nuzzle muzzle, brown liquid down.
This rhyme, do shove where honey goes, and become you will a clown.
Yell do not these words to be a flame fiery.
Picked you did, 8 boogers of Syd, else a liar be.
Down them gobble, bobble wobble, wallow in the lard.
Too wild you be, and we you free, out into the yard.
Your pretty butt, now you do strut, out in the world to roam.
Confined never more to the fucking bore of a greenhouse silicon dome.

some guy named forest
gump sat on a bench and said
life is like a box

and he was stupid
or so they said but he was
buddha, 1990s

from freaking alabama

Poetry is dumb.
Like, it's just so like stupid.
It's like, y'know, dumb.

It is a pleasure to
Be greeted by
Harry in the morning

Country music is
not uncivilized. Problem's
the whiny twang sound.

Cat steps on my boob
She puts all her weight on it
Oww oww oww oww oww!

remember sarcasm
how it seems dead in the face of
jingoistic youth

estoy buscando
una mujer hermosa
con bonita tetas

Find three words from a
Medical Dictionary
P.h.D. that's me

My farts do not stink.
They often smell like perfume.
May I fart on you?

unstoppable force
meets unmovable object
wonder which will win

rogue teacher for hire
i will do your math homework
and you can play games

Silenced fiddles,
unstrung, unglued -- the fiddlers
felled in genocide

Spent old bachelor
coughing into the cold night
nude posters hanging

The chirp of crickets
and the flickering of stars
make the perfect night

conscientious boy
who's taken Yosemite sticks
in letter; gives back

a world without a
twitter or facebook and I
just don't get the thrill

staid poster of che
rotting in the back of the old
coffee shoppe, collects...

dust

Leper's Poem

Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked it back up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did, my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection I wave "Yoo hoo!"
What will you do if I wave it at you?
Will you laugh, scream, or run away? Or maybe you'll like it, maybe you'll stay.
Maybe you want to be dismembered fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted.
Black-listed bastard.
"Evade Dave" is "Evade Dave" Backward.

Rip... a hole in your bath water.
Scream... into it the first thought that pops in to the corn on your foot long
Dick Tracy paper doll.
Painted... just like a whore.
Crying... for more.
Screaming... into the bath.
Talking... to the soap.
Up... a rope.
Don't... bend over, Ben Dover.
There... are no baths in prison.
Only... showers.
No... one to talk to.
The... soap is lye and the soap lies when you talk to it.
(don't... talk to it.)
Keep... your mouth shut and you won't go to the hole.
And... they won't go to your hole.
Keep... the gaze of the psycho; it's your only protection.
Don't... ever let them know you're human.
Laugh... when you should cry.
Smile... when you're serious.
Live... when you should die.
Peacefully... talk delirious.
Bite... things.
Everything.
Sharpen... your teeth.
Keep... deadly weapons close at hand.
Preparing... for the final stand.

FREEDOM = DEATH!!!!!

undressed and distressed
drunk on hand sanitizer
all problems modern

with cynical insight
I am nostalgic for it
and am sick of fluff

You can f*** all night
Just click to buy viagra.
Make your wife happy.

life changes things some
even when we aren't ready
pretty much always

the happy ending
poses a question, what does
happen after "ever after..."

Wacky Monty Haiku

asteroid near miss
meteor over russia
snow falls in scottsdale

Led Zeppelin Reunion Haiku

led zep reunion
tour and new song recording
"wheelchair ramp to heaven"


yes, i know there are six syllables in the last line of my haiku but it doesn't work without the extra syllable.