Wacky Monty Haiku

asteroid near miss
meteor over russia
snow falls in scottsdale

Led Zeppelin Reunion Haiku

led zep reunion
tour and new song recording
"wheelchair ramp to heaven"


yes, i know there are six syllables in the last line of my haiku but it doesn't work without the extra syllable.

have you forgotten
we're all supposed to hate
country music as

civilized civil
superior intellects
well forget that, where's

my merle haggard album

Building a building?
Could stand for one hundred years,
to remain building.

And that reCaptcha
I say holy fucking shit.
Third time is the charm

A strange place the internet
Humans, all toiling
Non-robotic spam

To the Ladies:

I'll write you a rhyme to tickle your ear.
Then pinch your bum to make you swear
and slap my face,
To my disgrace.
But, my! What a fine derriere!

Life suck, death swallows.
They should have sent
me to the gallows
when they had their chance.
With the dead I'll dance.
And laugh at he who follows.

I am here, yet I
am not here, I am never
I am not all here

if allen ginsburg
and jack kerouac had a
love child, two hearts BEAT?

Major Tom Meets Captain Kirk Haiku


Major Tom come in.
Ground Control to Major Tom.
Were is Captain Kirk?


Ground Control come in.
Major Tom to Ground Control.
Captain Kirk is dead!


Come in Major Tom.
Your signal's weak. Say again.
Is there something wrong?


Tom to Ground Control
There is nothing I can do
Captain Kirk is blue.


This is Ground Control
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Who killed Captain Kirk?


I killed Captain Kirk!
All ahead warp factor two.
This story is true.

Where's Spock?



Inspired by "Space Oddity" by David Bowie
and "Where's Captain Kirk" by SpizzEnergy

Much snow fell today
Roads are not cleared tonight
Certain crash, car dies

The trash cans do smell badly
Summer heat is not helping
Bad nausea comes

the pope resigned and
peter the roman comes? this
just might be the end

well I'm shocked but I'm
also annoyed, because gen x
ate itself whilst slacking

if that's not cannibalism I don't
know what is

old habits die hard
I can stop at any time
cannibalism

seems like the old
erase the viagra rootkit
adds needs to get out

I feel like I'm a
breaking record and I need
to take the needle off

woe. whoah... a mourning.
the best tribute to demise?
a poignant silence.

World's worst poetry
can be downloaded right here.
Just click on the link

Seriously, it's a sick disturbing/humorous novel with very bad poems interspersed throughout.
Hope you hate it. ;-)
evi1-a novel about you

Wife quit birth control.
I now have to use condoms.
My penis is sad.

Here's a grotesque joke.
You know what's an ICBM?
It's a frozen turd.


Get it? ICBM: icy BM
Well, at least it's not Cialis!

by the way folks of
toronto, you have a
korova milk bar

not quite like the one
in white plains, new york but
horrorshow, really

I am tired of
being paranoid about
america gone mad

bookstores closing down
data mining prevalent
and it gets in the

way of my real creative desires

girlfriend wanted:
girl next door type; smart, sexy
loves giving haiku

My farts are divine.
From my ass wholly holy,
comes the wind of God.

A cold, cutting wind
punishes me savagely;
What have I done wrong?

as time progresses
entropy, not progress is
the spirit rising

A five syllable
Then a seven syllable
Next five syllable

did i smell something ?
like leftovers past their prime
itself a low point

apostrophe now !
or capital punishment
if i may be frank

no haiku today
stuck in a creative lull
no inspiration

I don't honestly
care guy who's been here for so
long he needs to die

before he changes and
I imagine I need to die too
maybe good damn riddance

to both of us

A wet wood fencepost;
Evidence of a rainstorm
That passed through last night

The weather forecast
Gentle snow or heavy ice
San Antoni-NO

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=surveilence+culture&ei=UTF-8&fr=moz35

find inspiration
a spiritual motive,
then go drink a beer.

within this empire
should they make me a ruler
i'd prefer metric

Nothing Happened Today

five o-clock news cast
pretty anchor woman says
nothing to report

why the universe
can't get the hell out of the way
when I have things

to do is always
a mystery to me

an unblemished hope
might seam that shit together
or prove it's own void

vacant hereafter
or some corrupt thereafter
dwindles to the same

one mustn't despair
generation density
son will rise again

have to stay awake
i feel like sleeping right now
can't let my eyes close

it's times when a doubt
hits a person, feels stuck keeps on
fighting but feels like

giving up, the old
introverted whine fest kicks
in but it is real...

I collapse within
a dream of methods without
justice eludes

vhs, my man
never doubt your value, son
please, please me. then...

mine mirrored beauty
and wealth immeasurable
curse this small penis

in an ideal world
i would be rich, good looking,
and not just well hung

in an ideal world
i would be thin, rich, well hung
and good looking too