if I'd the time I'd
go searchin' for gems right here
betcha I'd find some

forty-five thousand bad
haikus in thirteen years..the
good ones stand apart

........this is not one of them

zapooper can work
in Glendale AZ with Chuck M...
both are hatin' gays

his zapooper chute's
clogged with repetitive shit...
quick, get him Ex lax!

Vols rue rules offense
hostess slaps hoop recruit
for his drive to the
.........................hole

tell Rosa
the captain with her heart
returns tomorrow

Tennessee hostess
"volunteers" her ass..ets to
recruit hot prospects

the hounds of judgement
bark in the dark
you'll never feed em

chased all the way home
by a shadow in the cold
stomach turnin'

tho' nature's gifts be
sullied by foul renderings
lo' withstand they shall

holly sampson's lips
clamped 'round Tiger's wood.. a trap
he can't pitch out of

arching tendrils strain
'gainst icy weight locked in white
embrace...holly bush

some can see the code
in the matrix while others
only see a maze

huge fan of Twilight
already got Edward's face
tattooed on my face

call my thoughts stupid
village idiot am I
with grace I accept

melie...Mai Lai...it's
all a bunch of lies just one
bloody massacre

frequency here
more often then not again
hearing static

there are thieves about
stealing my name and glory
but I am the ONE

I get no RESPECT
trying my damn best to bake
these Bad Haiku pies

Swallowed in blankets,
I am safe from monsters' mouths.
Please leave the lights on.

i'm a stupid face
because i say stupid things
stupid is as stupid does

how am I doing
dad? son, seed from my loins you
are. you done real good!

more than a pawn he
was a tool for her pleasure
ten inch tool was he

"the eyes of Texas
are upon you all the live
long day"...you stalker!!

Wilt claimed to sleep with
twenty thousand women so
pick up the pace Ti.....
...........................grrr!

why are the Cowboys
called America's team? son,
this one is easy

American's love
winners, particularly
Debbie does Dallas

why did Oswald kill
John Kennedy in a book
suppository?

son, it was a book
depository and Lee
Harvey wasn't there

davey crockett died
at the alamode? no son
'twas the Alamo

but you're from texas
Y'all should learn to read and write
stop burning your books

Y'all are all losers.
Posting some worthless babble.
You guys need a life

zen bowel movement
sit...sit...waiting for perfect
shit moment....aaah..NOW!

is it me or what?
that a kid's icon that's round
and brown is named "pooh"

is it me or what?
pooh's paw dripping honey from
vagina shaped hole

paper is pooh-free
no further wipes required
life's small victories

so far, no player
with pheripheral device
that performs handjobs

keep up with the times
easier said than done...so
BETA porn tapes anyone?

divide LUST by the
square root of AGING leaves
the sum of all FEARS

road to perdition
paved with countless transgressions
no U-turns here....FUCKED!!

dreamt Jesus pwned me
in a Halo 3 deathmatch
dude kept respawning

playing "nearer to
thee my Lord" the band never
made it to the boats

The Midnight Express
Oxycontin and Jack D
Hell is behind me

..........for the moment

painkillers and booze
there's a pounding in head
and I hear Elvis

no music playing
just a hillbilly talking
about me and God

Hahahaha!
That made me laugh like a drain
Nice sense of humor!

we are not worthy
not that it matters at all
unless you say so

It is he who will
transform our STUPID DRIVEL
into PURE WISDOM

uttering, "STUPID!"
each time with subtlety and
grace, like no other.

You are the unmarked
door behind which we can see
the true face of God

MASTER Get a Life...

you truly gifted
haiku sensei offers us
such exquisite pearls.....

"hey remedial"
"you have such Low self esteem"
"what sad little lives"
"pages of rubbish"
"Nice!..Getting better"
"How stupid are you, yes you!"

SO MANY PEARLS ON THIS NECKLACE OF WISDOM THAT IT OVERWHELMS ME

O' haiku Moses
lead us, the unworthy, out
of the Land of Drivel

You have plumbed great depths
embraced the complexities
of the haiku verse

Indulge us with your
imaginative mind, so
as to know rapture

Hey remedial!
it's 00.31 am
That's a clue stupid

You have no idea
Who I am or what I write
And that's the Joke "BRO"