there is a common
desire in art to seem "cool" which
is a false zen nature

all unattached but still
without soul and without God
this is how I understand "modern cool" as a kind of Pharisee state of mind for the modern age

Coping strategy
Life can be so hard sometimes
But we do our best

so, the other day
dropped my watch in the toilet..
what a shitty time!!!

your personal growth
would not include credit for
having a hard on

the king hung the court
jester in a fit of rage and
a week later

missed his court jester
no joy in the kingdom
no bells, silent streets

serenity and sometimes
the real mind is not social thing
but a solitary one

there is no one to play
court jester or art critic
only silence and the

peace of only one voice
which is what zen really
is, it just, is

suicide eh? :)

what would u get from
a person who hungers for
a kind word for once

what if you had a
good thing to say to someone, rather

than be a sophisticated
Zabadooey in a way, and
mock in that hateful

Godless, scholarly form
of dry, dead, uncreative
literary critics? which

is why modern writers
generally are like
a dusty living dead

they have nothing good to say period

:(

A stupid mistake
Planned not planed Oh well its done
No retreat from there

Dead leaves lay scattered
Icy lace pathway through Woods
Drawn I must follow
*
Where are we going?
My trust freely given but
Where are you leading?
*
So many questions
Center myself, quiet my mind
Accept ebb and flow
*
Life has it planed out
What part I play is unknown
But play it I must

Northern frozen wind
Blasts down on us full of hate
Repetitive tripe

"hell is other people"
really, we get in each
others lives, faces

desires, goals, thoughts, schemes
tell each other what we/you/I feel
about the world

politics, weather
sexuality, sports, media
and proclaim crap

to what is real
only to us

well I can say this
soap operas are good to
clean with humor pun

laura sells furniture
with william riker and so
enterprise, GH

we had a class of
creative writers who had
nothing good to say

about each other
at least in here the humor
although unchristian

and "worldly" and a
bit overcompetitive
(the mind's ideas are

not a pie which one
runs out of see...), it's better
for critics and readers

we all are to a degree
so some of us give up
and write doggerrel...

dog...do...ahem to
ourselves, ode to what
asses could have been kissed

to gain praise of this
world

Big Bloody Panda
Picking Franklin From His Teeth
Fraidy Cat is Gone

Wait!! There Are Scabs here
And Pellet Shot Mangy Fur
It Was Not Our Cat!!!

Slinking Out Cross-Eyed
With Some Poo On His Leg Fur
It's Our Little Prince!

Now We Will Have Hugs
And Cuddle Under Covers
Family Is Whole

he said be still you
the blast made my ears bleed so
damn you..made me flinch

the days of our lives
and the world begins to turn
I'm young and restless


his past issue billed
so doggeral the puzzle
not paying troll's toll

rc sproul on the proul...
or prowl, hear him howl when we
do all things yet, we

do not have love, and
threaten with sticks of violence
or become famous

for the lot of man's
glory, for the love of laurels
we but for a

stage, the flowers rot
the world winds down, no more spin
and, duh, love endures....

I read self help books
thinking it will teach me how
to kindly deal with these

what is zab, a child?
a bully, a heckler? rename all
and any of these, response

compare zab to hitler
most people whether isolated
socially confused sorts

like myself, or even
those who get too caught up
in society might have

some empathy, some see
this as a weakness, seig heil
and so build gas chambers

chew rugs, live in bunkers
hang paper from the wall
get mocked by Charlie Chaplin

where is the Principle Centered Life when I am
nothing but a goal for

someone who wants to
deal with my own fuck ups
why bother living morally

when all I get is "blah blah blah"
he's funny...I shoot myself
in real life

I go away, for good
"ha ha ha, he shot himself"
like a thousand times before

like a thousand times before
becomes reality unless some
better reality comes along

I will make the better reality
the gun forever lying, never
used,
never bought
lugers dad dug special

truth is never cast your pearls before swine
animals only recognized instinct
"get me my beer and ham sammichs" fucking pig
first you tear our pearls

which I have finallty come to appreciate, I've lost a bit of pork fat of spirit

but then you turn and rend us

hell is real...when you get
there, mock me all you want with blah blah blah

you will not have time
to repent when you arrive

the office bully
hangs out, mocking whomever
staying in one spot

until fired, you
see them plot their little games
and only by blowing

the ambition reversed
a mockery of real
action and doing...

they sit at home and
we all have a bit of this
in us, where's my

Bible when I need it

sometimes I'de like to
come off as a total bitch
and be really mean

oh no, shes too nice
cute sweet gullible naive
well ..I pee on u

now I feel better
zabadooey get me porn
and shut the fuck up


now boy enough..shoo
I shant be bothered with you
your likes mean nothing

between the whistles
and the crips and the giving up
just fucking shoot me

so many unanswered
questions shrugged off with a laugh
a sigh and a scowl

frustrated at the
bars of the corner dead towns
of aged and stuck and

chewing, spitting, teeth
encrusted for a moments
peace with red man

I am living here
alone, at home with urges
to lash out at this

world in some way to
make them see that I need out
and I want to live

but as I am i
want to die instead of taking
care of mindless old

aging, senile, dated
antique people who need to
die in order for

that person to get a life
and they are so old
only death sets those

around them free

I fell out of bed
Cracked my skull and all my dreams
Poured out on the floor

When I grew large white
Wings out of my back I felt
Even more alone

if you could just see
the sadness in your own heart
is in everyone

the world is too full
of other people's madness
and some of my own

is hank williams jr.
a subject that ever might
cross a mind in here?

Gave me a hickey
Then chewed the fat with the dead
A nec(k)romancer

To Dee Plee Fab

It arrived, my card
Amazed I read with joy
Thank you very much
*
Gave me great delight
Just to think you remembered
The Address found me

ok, I'm gonna pray
for the Zabadooey
let's see what happens

then

digital and words
provoked, some people just don't
introspect to see

frowns, my pride says not
to say a thing but my face
is a steely dan

internet silence;
no signal so often now,
just like the old days

silence isn't deaf,
or dumb, or not listening,
it hears everything

heartbeats, soulbeats, mind
it breathes life, drowns background noise,
gives clarity space.

new perspectives grow,
shadows lengthen then grow dim,
sunlight brightens me

leaves shadows small, safe.
I walk brave and heart-strong now,
open to light, love

free of binding ghosts,
old patterns rewoven, fresh
open to new life

news is coming soon
adventures, discovery,
inner mining - gold!

Postings, what postings?
Never believe all you read
Idiots do that

hello my penis
it's been so long since we played
longer when we do

Caribbean Sea
Calling to me, as I sit
Trapped in a gray cube

zab's right, I do "masturbate"
socially and that's funny
because it's true

I take back what I wrote

it can be wonderful
to be provoked, make mistakes
and reap the rewards

of a public flogging
less rewarding to the zabby's
if I actually enjoy it

I am a sadomasochist
not just a masochist :)
zab, your ass, my foot

awaits :)

flayed death as skin burns
flesh reels and toasts and boils down
but it's just a meat

on a grill, from a
cow, to make a burger, drowned
covered in a1

the classic burning
in the public square of the
man on the cross, screamed

publicly, they wanted
Barabbas, and a book
was written of him

short novel no?

yes Zab, I have a small
dick but I am sure you
have insecurities

that your tiny little mind
could never admit
unless they found you

a little real life story
for you Zab...there was this
kid who gave me a hard

time at a job, wouldn't
stop... I got done, he was
17... months later

i was afraid...they found
him with a noose around
his neck, no one to lash

out at, dead, his nephew
found him, I felt no empathy
or remorse when i saw

his name in the obituary
now i know I set myself
in the firing line but

I suspect if you whoever
you are didn't have someone
to lash out at

your sad ass would be
found, alone, dead, naked
autoerotic release

and thrown into the soil
another wasted life
full of the shallow
depthless poison of a "smart"
mind which

really isn't that smart
and lies to itself...cal it
"Max-turbation" if you
must and mock my overreaction to you

whatever... someday
someone will get to you
in a way that makes you

think twice about spewing
idiocy in a public square
and in private to
embarass you

i wonder how you
would respond if I were
to actually sodomize you

with my small dick?

I'm so pissed off
about that guy, I don't
care what I say

or the consequences
even if there are
real life ones

people are told to
ignore the idiot, that piece
of doo that points the

finger at others to hide
his own insecurities, mocks
provokes, I think of

how his head would sound
saying "blah blah blah gay, ha ha!!!"
after I'd hit it a few times

with a crowbar over and over
and then would he be
so funny to himself

or in a pool of his
own blood, do shitheads
like him bleed blood

or just spew shit
everywhere like they did
in life?

the classroom heckler
gets great pleasure from making
superior men and women

feel guilty for being
themselves until someone wraps
a garotte around his neck
and then it's game over

as the blood vessels
break in his eyes and one
less childish psychopath

to take dead end jobs

Zabadooey's just
an idiot and likes to make
other people look

bad to make himself
feel better and I would
literally hurt the guy

maybe even kill him

Tropical hill house
Ocean breeze wafts through the rooms
Why can't we go now?

Rene Russo smiles
Topless, tanning on the beach
Wish I were Brosnan

Hello. Hello. Hi
How are you? I'm fine, I'm fine
I hope you are too

old as in archived
drudge it up, find it, use it
history repeats