I knock up your wife,
leaving you to raise my spawn.
Think hard - Who I am?

Blistering hot sun
Sweat on my brow, working hard
to figure out cows

Ostrich ranch wrangler,
realize your dreams, don't let
the Man keep you down

Guns, food, and water.
Plenty of ammo, radio.
Porn and vaseline.

Sole fate you offer:
a soft tongue bath for my balls
nice offer, no thanks

Frank Zappa wrote this
Chunga

Zappa was right, from
heavenly bank account to
you are what you is

lest ye want to meet your fate
you silly anteating slut
don't talk now

urine coloured wave
on a sepia background
him bin long time now

Mango popsicle.
Tasty. Made in Mexico.
Still pretty tasty.

Trilobite dreaming
Holochroal eyes, filter mud for food
You'd make a great pet

Sixteen point nine three
Bad Haiku per day. Tell me:
What do they all mean?

Moderate thyself
before asking moderation
lest ye be thwacked

luxurious smile,
salacious eyes invite
I dissolve in her

Corn dogs, chili beer
Sassafras soda, pork rinds
huckleberry pie

Measure by measure,
stepping over the ruler
of centimetres

Edmonton Oilers
I've hated you all my days
That feeling endures

fook all these bastards
Jaaaannnnniiiiiiiiissssss!!!
Must moderate this numbsense

Never fathered;
Genetic algorithms:
I survive in code

It will surpass us:
Genetic computation
but not the Haiku

I thought mine was big
This was until I saw that
Grandma had a cock

Garlic parmesan
jalapeno pesto. Wow.
Life is pretty good.

California
flatbread. Trendy, hip, costly.
Tastes much like cardboard.

Two red dots on thumb
Skin peeling away, sore, numb.
What is with my thumb?

Superstring theory.
Multiple universes.
All he wants is laid.

Hawk poops in my face
My diagnosis: bird flu
Don't look up. Ever.

Conclusion jumped
But why the insert error?
Humble apology

Censorship, eh? Bah.
Rot in your hell of shit waves.
Close your mind further

Janis keep the wave
Make the colour blue and white
My original

I'll swim undeterred
crystal adriatic sea
pooh to shitty waves

The shit coloured wave
Envelopes the site header
Time for replacement?

Banality Rex
Evolution, Survival
Full of one's self verse

pity the humans
victims of circumstances
beyond their control

Hello Kitty rules!
I'm like: you didn't know that?
I'm like: whatever

Bleeding hearts unite:
Toyota Prius saves gas
Suicide saves more

Pristine spring forest
Fallen log with yellow spots
When did I eat corn?

Snail inches along.
The razor blade splits it in half.
Two squishy pieces.

Smelly cockroach, pain.
Unlighted box confines me.
Nine years now. You well?

What a cake job, eh?
UPS parcel driver
Big truck, fun, hot chicks

Furry pet's teeth
Sharp. Make oral sex difficult,
and bloody affair

Hello dear spam bot
I love how you waste my time
But you make me write

Monty Python is
to 'funny' what accountant's
are to 'boring' blokes

Big thick bettz, one thick bettle
hei bettz, where u gonna
with zeth big goon in ya hand

Super heroes die,
but their memories live on...
bad is good, baby!

Talking on the sidewalk with a woman
PT Cruiser passing by
Three men laughing inside
---
A gust of windshield antifreeze
catches my eyes
Ruining my mood for the evening
---
I don't know if Mr.Bush knows
Why I was sent to Belgrade (Iraq)
To suffer this Serbian terror
---
some % of Serbs
What they have against me an't sure
But sure as hell, they "know" me
---
Fuck you too
And hope you rot in hell
Whoever set me with this bloody trap
---
A day will come
Hope you will get yours, yours, yours...
And you will get it Bastards

A long, tall fence: a
blunt approach to a problem
multifarious.

eliminate the
impossible, whatever
remains must be truth


- inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (May 22, 1859)

Found Haiku no. 1 = Donald Rumsfeld

"It is easier
to get into something than
to get out of it."

We could fight about
agreeing to disagree
Or not. Whatever

The poet's two friends.
His readers and his critics
Not in that order