Darling, stop staring
at that poor old woman's cock
those are her grand kids

Reached into your purse
hoping for your cigarettes
but finding tampons

Over there you stood
eyes sparkling garden snow peas
hair thick like string beans

My Google induced
Epileptic episode.
A search and seizure.

large fish gelato
you think banana is bad
this is off the scale

ryan bites apple
seems like a product moment
no sponsors i bet

A pair of butt cheeks
clench and embrace each other
like two moons kissing.

Nude soliciting
Landed zero customers
Just one more arrest

Null Haiku, 'nother
idea for an even
more boring website

at eleven o'clock
just for the sake of a rhyme
my girlfriend just sucks

ja null null sieben
gesch

oh video chat
so fascinating thou aret
senseless invention

NULL

what is a ran tan?
I just tried to find that out

none the wiser now

thought I was on one
skimming through haiku daily
missing all the fun

Getting iPod fixed
Another hard drive crashes
Apple products stink.

Drive golf sliced swerve
Armchair Armco Death
Hence talentless Kitten Cat

not insomniac
atelo, it's the piercing
you've jammed your eyelids

no long engagement
a short passionate marriage
and a quick divorce

Ash once gave advice
Never engage with the trolls
It feeds their ego

I don't sleep, don't dream-
my eyes never shut, i work.
this has got to stop.

look on the bright side
he thinks he's the messiah
not a naughty boy

well goodness gracious
it's the gnome from alaska
playing with his bone

NULL

NULL

A man

kiss kiss sexy cat
like velvet your fur
oh no fish again

It's gang related
I should rob all these niggas
Gimmie yo air max '95s

Lazy reflections
Floating brown leaves amble past
On soft blown Ripples

Poetic motion
My every move she follows
Dancing like a dream

Kyoto curling
katabatic winds endure
making ice hard, HARD!

you need a snowboard
or better global warming
or going coastal

put the thought on ice
an achondroplastic team
called "short and curling"

Not really a sport
More like shuffleboard on ice
Curling is so gay

Three Four Six Two Four
I love it when a haiku
Makes me laugh out loud

Was Rasputin offed
By British Intelligence?
Watch cable TV.

Blessed are the poor
in spirit: for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven.

Olympian heights
Soused upon nectar of gods
Bode Miller's drunk

Food, glorious food!
Bananas and Bad Haikus
for body and mind.

why dont you like food
just give me one good reason
and ill leave u alone

why dont you like food
just give me one good reason
and ill leave u alone

A knock at the door.
An unimpressed monkey wants
his bananas back.

Just sold all haikus
on this site to a monkey
for some bananas.

your waves are to blame
unnecessary surfboard
why did i buy it?

korg m1 you old bitch
your cheap tech house piano
get out of my brain

Copyright

what if it is his?
his haikus not yours - that's fine?
checked the site - all his!

emailed them just now
they offer to share income
with contributors

You

i'll donate my brain
you can have my kidneys too
but piss on yourself

i'm keeping my heart
and the shit on my liver
and of course, my spleen

it is my talent
only he offers me nix
and the risk as well

pay me a bucket
buy my soul with big dollars
and make me your bitch

but i'll need samples
lots of real cute assistants
and a makeover

i am not convinced
why not earn money - any way?
it's not your talent

you seen to enjoy
writing commercial haiku
is it frustration?