the swell is tiny
rain is falling and falling
my life is boredom

What is attraction?
Attitude? Don

Pugilistic dicks
Punching blokes and claiming oscars
Asses: Penn and Crowe

Rotten telephone
Manufactured by Siemens
Display is broken

I know it was lame
I was bored and feckless
Had to write something

"...and he was all like,
'hhyaa,' and I was like 'Oh. My.
God.'
"I know!" "Totally."

i'd like to thank the
Academy, Mom, Janis,
my agent, my shrink...

We have a winner
Haiku three three five thirty
Poem of the year

"cold gazpacho soup"?
'tis chilled by definition
a tautology

Some are born to lead
Others feign such qualities
I don't give a crap

Cold gazpacho soup
Uses ice cubes to cool it
Solid water no?

Hats are to fashion
What intelligence is to
President George Bush

comfortable? no.
stylish? durable? hell, yes!
linoleum hat

Toby? Toby! Come
here and help your mother bring
the shopping inside

A survey: what is
the most unneccessary
soup ingredient?



my answer is this:
the solid form of water
adds very little

where are those damn keys?
photographic memory
must be out of film

fat-free fig newtons
nirvana made with real fruit
a fine weight-loss plan

that rabbit habit
fuck a duck, there's no justice
after withdrawal

Nothing to be done
same as before
renicarnate nothing to be done

Turkey day is here
Good day for unfeathered friends
Not for the feathered

Odd double posting
Not my poetic intent
Cyber-glitch I guess

Haven't bathed in weeks
Developing white-boy dreads
Need shampoo sample

Haven't bathed in weeks
Developing white-boy dreads
Need shampoo sample

Now this is funny
"Are you ok little man"
Screaming in terror

(Rat Boy Video Link)

In the name of shite!
Javascript error, my ass.
Some websites just blow.

gotta love your job
amidst the froth and bubble
seeds of hangover

Adding new cities
To beerhunter.ca
Is not trivial

Nifty search feature
Will return to the site soon
First I need coffee

Tunginated drive
On the bad haiku server
Causes loss of sleep

whatever you say
it doesn't mean much to me
but what do i know ?

Lou Reed, Iggy Pop
Tom Verlaine and Richard Hell
The Brothers Ramone

President Clinton
Never inhaled so why you?
Hold your breath, turn blue

one needs to exhale
so that there's room to inhale
there's a good reason

Final Installment
No Value In Utterance
Why Might I Exhale?

I'm soaring toward
That valid misanthropy
There's nothing beyond

I apologize
For the missing syllable
In the last 3rd line

Morons on the run
The idiocy unleashed
Yards of retards

Instant oatmeal
Eaten dry in class is good
Better than the class

Warning: mysql_connect():
...line 13 Could not connect
badhaiku search down

Age of surrender
Are we sure we should stay put
Or just run away

Let us now stamp out
the evil philatelists
before they stamp us.

we're still together
vicarious existence
reminds me of you

foolish optimist
foamy salt effervescence
as i kiss the surf

Numerologists
Count on cleverness and wit
To sum it all up


One two three four five
Two three four five six seven
Three two one zero

Powdery white stuff
Speeds into aching nostrils
Ahh, hastening pulse

Librarian clothes
she wears today, been looking
at art books, bad boy!

The Ginsu master
Quickly parses the text file
Using godly perl

Powerdy white stuff
Drifts gently downward, anon
blanketing the earth

If you are a man
Get your face slapped by woman
Make rude proposal
*
If you are Woman
Just take a chance, surrender
There, wasn