Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 345 Days and 77325 Haiku later...

Is it wrong of me
to want the wife to wear that
cheerleaders outfit?
Haiku # 29360, April 22, 2003 9:08 pm ET
by Bubba Zephyr
ALL CAPITALS NOW
ALL CAPITALS FOREVER
MAKES SENSELESS HAIKU
Haiku # 29359, April 22, 2003 8:36 pm ET
by Robbie of Waco, TX
Eagle Scouts cussing
I have never heard of such
Must be just a joke
Haiku # 29358, April 22, 2003 8:33 pm ET
by Robbie of Waco, TX
and the winner is sf by unanimous
decision.
Haiku # 29357, April 22, 2003 8:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
checked my horoscope,
then I thought alot about things,
just another night
Haiku # 29356, April 22, 2003 8:05 pm ET
by something rosie
ON POKER NIGHTS DADDY HAS
HIS FRIENDS OVER AND I'M
FORCED TO PERFORM CABARET
IN DRAG. THEY DON'T PLAY MUCH
POKER
Haiku # 29355, April 22, 2003 7:54 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
MOM AND DAD ARE BORED WITH
THEIR SEX LIVES. SO THEY THREW
ME IN THE MIX. WE FOUNDED THE
FAMILY MENAGE, REAL TREND
SETTERS WE ARE
Haiku # 29354, April 22, 2003 7:51 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I LOVE PLAYIN CATCH WITH DAD.
"OH YEAH, HEAR I COME SON,
HERE COMES THE PITCH, AAAAHAH
AAAAAAH YEAAAAAAH! COME ON
SON, REAL BALL PLAYERS DON'T
NEED MOUTH WASH."
Haiku # 29353, April 22, 2003 7:48 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
MOM SAYS NO TV ON SCHOOL
NIGHTS, BUT I SAY BITCH "WHY YOU PLAYA HATIN! FIX ME SOME
SMORES, WENCH, WITH EXTRA
MARSHMELLOWS JUST HOW I
LIKE EM."
Haiku # 29352, April 22, 2003 7:45 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I'LL PROBABLY GO STAG TO PROM,
BUT MAYBE AT THE AFTER PARTY
I CAN WATCH OTHER COUPLES
MAKE OUT.
Haiku # 29351, April 22, 2003 7:41 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
ME AND DADDY ARE READING THE
BIBLE AND WE COME ACROSS
THIS PASSAGE ON SODOMY. HE
LOOKS AT ME SAYS, "BUT THE
BIBLE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
BONDAGE DURING HORSEPLAY."
Haiku # 29350, April 22, 2003 7:36 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
GRANDMA GAVE ME FIFTY BUCKS
FOR BECOMING AN EAGLE SCOUT.
BIG DEAL, YOU SAY? DO YOU
KNOW HOW MANY POKEMON CARDS
THAT'LL BUY ME?
Haiku # 29349, April 22, 2003 7:33 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I GOT A NEW LORD OF THE RINGS
LUNCH PALE FOR CHRISTMAS.
YEAH, LAUGH IT UP, BUT THIS
THING'S A COLLECTOR'S ITEM
Haiku # 29348, April 22, 2003 7:30 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
MOTHER STILL BATHES AND I
CAN'T SAY I DON'T LIKE IT
HAAAHAAA SHE FEEDS ME
BALONEY SANDWICHES IN THE
BATH TUB
Haiku # 29347, April 22, 2003 7:28 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
NO GAYS ALLOWED IN BOY SCOUTS
BUT I SLIPPED BY HAAAAHAAAA
THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME.
Haiku # 29346, April 22, 2003 7:26 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I PLAY RODEO WITH MY FATHER
IT'S GREAT FUN. HE LASSOES ME
AND RIDES ME BAREBACK, BUT
NEVER IN FRONT OF SOCIAL
WORKERS
Haiku # 29345, April 22, 2003 7:23 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
SOMEHOW THE GIRLS AREN'T
IMPRESSED BY MY X-MEN ACTION
FIGURES HAHAAAAA
Haiku # 29344, April 22, 2003 7:19 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
SOMETIMES DADDY LETS ME DRIVE
THE CAR ON THE DRIVE WAY ON
WEEKENDS WITH BALONEY
SAMMICHES
Haiku # 29343, April 22, 2003 7:16 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I'M NOT AS CREATIVE AS SF
BUT I TRY MY HARDEST HAAAAA
HAAAAHAAAAA
Haiku # 29342, April 22, 2003 7:13 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I THUMB MY NOSE AT ARSON
LARSON HAAAAAAHAAAAAAA
HAAAAAA
Haiku # 29341, April 22, 2003 6:21 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
I'm not a sailor,
I'm not strong out of my shoes,
Dragging like anchors.
Haiku # 29340, April 22, 2003 6:09 pm ET
by something rosie
HAHAHAHAHHAHA HE'LL NEVER WIN
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA THE
FORCE OF BALONEY SAMMICHES
TOO STRONG
Haiku # 29339, April 22, 2003 6:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I AM INVINCIBLE HAHAHAAH
BALONEY SAMMICHES WILL BE
VICTORIOUS OVER IMPOTENCE
Haiku # 29338, April 22, 2003 6:05 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
I AM A SUCCESS!! HAVE T
THOROUGHLY MADE HIM ANGRY..
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAA
YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME..HAH
HAAAAAAAAAA
Haiku # 29337, April 22, 2003 5:57 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Rain drops falling down
seem to be meant just for me
I can see no end
Haiku # 29336, April 22, 2003 5:47 pm ET
by Robbie of Waco, TX
BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICHBALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH
Haiku # 29335, April 22, 2003 5:19 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
this guy's a tard
Haiku # 29334, April 22, 2003 5:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
YO SEARLE, YOU WANT A PIECE OF
MY BALONEY SAMMICH. I CAN
SEW MY OWN CLOTHES AND MAKE
A CAMP FIRE, YOU KNOW YOU
WANT DIS!
Haiku # 29333, April 22, 2003 5:04 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
art is killing me
i should give up
reality v's desire
Haiku # 29332, April 22, 2003 4:58 pm ET
by searle of glowering at old art
ME AND MY BOYS, PITCHIN A TENT
IN DA BACKYARD, I'M A WORKIN
EM LIKE MJ IN A GAME OF HUNGRY
HUNGRY HIPPOS
Haiku # 29331, April 22, 2003 4:57 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
HAHAHAHHA, I'LL NEVER STOP,
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH. I DO WHAT
I WANT, UNTIL MOMMY TELLS ME
IT'S DINNER TIME
Haiku # 29330, April 22, 2003 4:55 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
morning ritual
coffee and depression
i hate the day, give me darkness
Haiku # 29329, April 22, 2003 4:54 pm ET
by searle of squinting at daylight
suicide
mind rot wanting closure
no, not yet
Haiku # 29328, April 22, 2003 4:51 pm ET
by searle of land of apathy
MARK ASS BUSTER, AIR JORDANS
ARE FOR PUNKS, CHECK OUT
THESE KEDS, THAT'S ONE
HUNDRED PERCENT GLOW IN THE
DARK VELCROE
Haiku # 29327, April 22, 2003 4:50 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
eat shit and die freak
mind is screaming
stranger in the mirror looks back
Haiku # 29326, April 22, 2003 4:48 pm ET
by searle of rio on the mountain top
I BE LIKE BITCH, I DON'T SMOKE
CIGARETTES. I BLOW BUBBLES
Haiku # 29325, April 22, 2003 4:47 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
WHERE MY CUB SCOUT'S HAT
BACKWARDS, PANTS HANGIN REAL
LOW, STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA LIKE
TYIN SLIP KNOTS AND SEWIN MY
OWN CLOTHES AND SUCH
Haiku # 29324, April 22, 2003 4:44 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER, I JUST GOT
TWO THOUSAND HIT POINTS FOR
RYGAR, ALL HAIL THE DUNGEON
MASTER EAGLE SCOUT. IT'S LIKE
THE GIRLS DON'T DIG
RENAISSANCE MEN.
Haiku # 29323, April 22, 2003 4:42 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
SHE BE TRIPPIN, NOT WANTIN
TO GO TO PROM WITH A PRIME
RIB EAGLE SCOUT LIKE MYSELF.
FUCK DA ICE, I WEAR CUB SCOUT
PATCHES
Haiku # 29322, April 22, 2003 4:39 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
I BE LIKE, WASSAP, I'M A
STRAIGHT UP EAGLE SCOUT. YOU
FOOLS WANNA PIECE A DIS?
I KNOW HOW TO TIE A SLIP KNOT
BEEOTCH!!!
Haiku # 29321, April 22, 2003 4:36 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
WORD UP, ME AND MY BOYS
CHILLIN UP IN THE TREE HOUSE
MUNCHIN BALONEY SAMMICHES
PLAYIN DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS
Haiku # 29320, April 22, 2003 4:33 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
EAGLE SCOUT REPRESENTIN
ILLINOISE TO DA FULLEST, EATIN
CHOCALATE SMORES LIKE DON P
Haiku # 29319, April 22, 2003 4:31 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield, IL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHH HE CAN'T USE
SPELL CHECK BALONEY
SAMMICHES
Haiku # 29318, April 22, 2003 4:27 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield,IL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHHASHAHAH
BALONEY SAMMICHES
Haiku # 29317, April 22, 2003 4:27 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Springfield,IL
I AM SF AND I CANT SPELL
SPRINGFIELD,...HAAAAHAAAAAA
Haiku # 29316, April 22, 2003 4:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED MUST BE
A LITTLE P.O'D...HAHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAA
Haiku # 29315, April 22, 2003 4:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I ROCK THIS JOINT
EAGLE SCOUT FOR LIFE, BEEOTCH!
Haiku # 29314, April 22, 2003 3:40 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
All these pubes stuck in my teeth.
you'd think daddy would give me
time to brush my teeth between
our bouts of love making, but no.
Haiku # 29313, April 22, 2003 3:36 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
I WET MYSELF WITH BALONEY
SAMMICHES TALKING TO GIRLS
Haiku # 29312, April 22, 2003 3:33 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
i built this awesome tree house
with my stepfather. finally, us
two have a place to make sweet
love
Haiku # 29311, April 22, 2003 3:31 pm ET
by Richard Larson of Sprinfield, IL
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