ON POKER NIGHTS DADDY HAS
HIS FRIENDS OVER AND I'M
FORCED TO PERFORM CABARET
IN DRAG. THEY DON'T PLAY MUCH
POKER

MOM AND DAD ARE BORED WITH
THEIR SEX LIVES. SO THEY THREW
ME IN THE MIX. WE FOUNDED THE
FAMILY MENAGE, REAL TREND
SETTERS WE ARE

I LOVE PLAYIN CATCH WITH DAD.
"OH YEAH, HEAR I COME SON,
HERE COMES THE PITCH, AAAAHAH
AAAAAAH YEAAAAAAH! COME ON
SON, REAL BALL PLAYERS DON'T
NEED MOUTH WASH."

MOM SAYS NO TV ON SCHOOL
NIGHTS, BUT I SAY BITCH "WHY YOU PLAYA HATIN! FIX ME SOME
SMORES, WENCH, WITH EXTRA
MARSHMELLOWS JUST HOW I
LIKE EM."

I'LL PROBABLY GO STAG TO PROM,
BUT MAYBE AT THE AFTER PARTY
I CAN WATCH OTHER COUPLES
MAKE OUT.

ME AND DADDY ARE READING THE
BIBLE AND WE COME ACROSS
THIS PASSAGE ON SODOMY. HE
LOOKS AT ME SAYS, "BUT THE
BIBLE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
BONDAGE DURING HORSEPLAY."

GRANDMA GAVE ME FIFTY BUCKS
FOR BECOMING AN EAGLE SCOUT.
BIG DEAL, YOU SAY? DO YOU
KNOW HOW MANY POKEMON CARDS
THAT'LL BUY ME?

I GOT A NEW LORD OF THE RINGS
LUNCH PALE FOR CHRISTMAS.
YEAH, LAUGH IT UP, BUT THIS
THING'S A COLLECTOR'S ITEM

MOTHER STILL BATHES AND I
CAN'T SAY I DON'T LIKE IT
HAAAHAAA SHE FEEDS ME
BALONEY SANDWICHES IN THE
BATH TUB

NO GAYS ALLOWED IN BOY SCOUTS
BUT I SLIPPED BY HAAAAHAAAA
THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME.

I PLAY RODEO WITH MY FATHER
IT'S GREAT FUN. HE LASSOES ME
AND RIDES ME BAREBACK, BUT
NEVER IN FRONT OF SOCIAL
WORKERS

SOMEHOW THE GIRLS AREN'T
IMPRESSED BY MY X-MEN ACTION
FIGURES HAHAAAAA

SOMETIMES DADDY LETS ME DRIVE
THE CAR ON THE DRIVE WAY ON
WEEKENDS WITH BALONEY
SAMMICHES

I'M NOT AS CREATIVE AS SF
BUT I TRY MY HARDEST HAAAAA
HAAAAHAAAAA

I THUMB MY NOSE AT ARSON
LARSON HAAAAAAHAAAAAAA
HAAAAAA

I'm not a sailor,
I'm not strong out of my shoes,
Dragging like anchors.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA HE'LL NEVER WIN
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA THE
FORCE OF BALONEY SAMMICHES
TOO STRONG

I AM INVINCIBLE HAHAHAAH
BALONEY SAMMICHES WILL BE
VICTORIOUS OVER IMPOTENCE

I AM A SUCCESS!! HAVE T
THOROUGHLY MADE HIM ANGRY..
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAA
YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME..HAH
HAAAAAAAAAA

Rain drops falling down
seem to be meant just for me
I can see no end

BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICHBALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH BALONEY SAMMICH

this guy's a tard

YO SEARLE, YOU WANT A PIECE OF
MY BALONEY SAMMICH. I CAN
SEW MY OWN CLOTHES AND MAKE
A CAMP FIRE, YOU KNOW YOU
WANT DIS!

art is killing me
i should give up
reality v's desire

ME AND MY BOYS, PITCHIN A TENT
IN DA BACKYARD, I'M A WORKIN
EM LIKE MJ IN A GAME OF HUNGRY
HUNGRY HIPPOS

HAHAHAHHA, I'LL NEVER STOP,
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH. I DO WHAT
I WANT, UNTIL MOMMY TELLS ME
IT'S DINNER TIME

morning ritual
coffee and depression
i hate the day, give me darkness

suicide
mind rot wanting closure
no, not yet

MARK ASS BUSTER, AIR JORDANS
ARE FOR PUNKS, CHECK OUT
THESE KEDS, THAT'S ONE
HUNDRED PERCENT GLOW IN THE
DARK VELCROE

eat shit and die freak
mind is screaming
stranger in the mirror looks back

I BE LIKE BITCH, I DON'T SMOKE
CIGARETTES. I BLOW BUBBLES

WHERE MY CUB SCOUT'S HAT
BACKWARDS, PANTS HANGIN REAL
LOW, STRAIGHT UP GANGSTA LIKE
TYIN SLIP KNOTS AND SEWIN MY
OWN CLOTHES AND SUCH

YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER, I JUST GOT
TWO THOUSAND HIT POINTS FOR
RYGAR, ALL HAIL THE DUNGEON
MASTER EAGLE SCOUT. IT'S LIKE
THE GIRLS DON'T DIG
RENAISSANCE MEN.

SHE BE TRIPPIN, NOT WANTIN
TO GO TO PROM WITH A PRIME
RIB EAGLE SCOUT LIKE MYSELF.
FUCK DA ICE, I WEAR CUB SCOUT
PATCHES

I BE LIKE, WASSAP, I'M A
STRAIGHT UP EAGLE SCOUT. YOU
FOOLS WANNA PIECE A DIS?
I KNOW HOW TO TIE A SLIP KNOT
BEEOTCH!!!

WORD UP, ME AND MY BOYS
CHILLIN UP IN THE TREE HOUSE
MUNCHIN BALONEY SAMMICHES
PLAYIN DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS

EAGLE SCOUT REPRESENTIN
ILLINOISE TO DA FULLEST, EATIN
CHOCALATE SMORES LIKE DON P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHH HE CAN'T USE
SPELL CHECK BALONEY
SAMMICHES

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHHASHAHAH
BALONEY SAMMICHES

I AM SF AND I CANT SPELL
SPRINGFIELD,...HAAAAHAAAAAA

SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED MUST BE
A LITTLE P.O'D...HAHAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAA

I ROCK THIS JOINT
EAGLE SCOUT FOR LIFE, BEEOTCH!

All these pubes stuck in my teeth.
you'd think daddy would give me
time to brush my teeth between
our bouts of love making, but no.

I WET MYSELF WITH BALONEY
SAMMICHES TALKING TO GIRLS

i built this awesome tree house
with my stepfather. finally, us
two have a place to make sweet
love

one time, my little brother, broke
one of my dungeon's and dragons
pieces, and i was like "bitch you
betta recognize and get some
supa glue befo Rich dog puts the
smack down!"

next week i become an eagle
scout. the ladies love a man in
uniform. maybe then i'll get a
date for the prom

one time, i actually saw this girl's
panties through her shorts. it was
so cool.

Sometimes momma let's me stay
up late and we eat chocalate
smores.

I AM RICH LARSON PICKED ON AT
SCHOOL, VERY UNPOPULAR
AMONGST MY PEERS,
MASTURBATING TO TELETUBBIES