Yeah right, like those small
Metallic strips inside are
Going to stop me.

A bookstore thief, I
Will never pay fifteen bucks
For a paper back.

Can't you wear the shoes?
And then you change your clothing
Cowardly sucka

Fool who wears the boots
"It's so I can run away.
"It's too cold outside."

Haiku excellence
Bad is an understatement
It's total, utter...

After your third penile implant
You start to question whether your
Mag Lite-size member belongs on
your 120 lb frame.

don't explode too much
I've noticed the worst threat
is those who have nothing

that refuse to work to go from nothing
but work very hard to get rid of your something
which is why they have nothing in the first place

I will suck your dick,
For free if you want,
Cause I just hate cunt..

Alan Alda, chewing my balls,
While I toss Liberace's salad,
Gayness for the new millenium..

The time is not true
Found secret of time travel
27886

Time difference UK!
I have to get up early
And go to bed late

Fish-net stockings, basque
Hot-pants, high-heels and panties
Rather comfortable
(apart from my feet)

Hey William Nippress
no offense, but do you sleep?
Posts at 4 and 9?

Desires to rejoin
Sun pulls through the canopy
Oaks lush green scramble

Kayak down river
Turn on end, fast hard paddle
Launch myself off wave

River soaked my skin
Red-hot sun warms up my face
Ready for next soak

Blam goes another
Hard rough reverberations
Killing civilians

Good or bad speaking
Not good sign of statesmanship
Tell them to shut up

Blair is good speaker
Blair is much too clever
Shoots himself in foot

Bush is poor speaker
He

Is old Reagan dead
Or just had a bush face lift
Hard to tell difference

Carouselambra
Sisters of the wayside, Man
You

very frightening
his voice is just like reagan's
and his dementia

eyeballs flying by
barely faster than the train
pretend you don't see

It's after five now
but I'm still at work doing
some stupid haikus?

I told some jokes to
my friend Brad - he wouldn't give
a courtesy laugh.

Carouselambra
is 10 minutes of good fun.
Especially high.

My brother used to
race roaches across the grill
at Krystal Burger.

I ate White Castle,
Taco Bell, Jack in the Box
My guts are shellacked.

If I was a small
kid when Saddam was small too
I'd have punched his balls.

I wrote that last one
after I cleared the chamber
on my Graphix bong.

I wish we all could
get in a time machine and
see how we end up.

My diagnosis?
the world needs an enema
up the ole poop shoot.

What would you give me
to wear a meat helmet with
vegetarians?

The televised plane crash, our eyes
pop out, we gasp in awe. But how
wonderful it is to be alive while
others die in our place.

Shopping to their hearts content
The soul screams out "Consume or
Die!" Bless the holy Macy's, stifling
my fear of death.

I'm no underground man, just
a poor bastard who's been fucked
over one too many times. I'm an
evil man, a sick man, but my liver
doesn't hurt, I'm on drugs.

OUch..
my liver hurts,

I am Richard Larson,
Queen of Drag, I like womens
clothes too...

Poor bloated pidgeon feasting
On human waste, renouncing all
energy to fly. You're one of us
now.

I am the Real Slim Shady,
So I will now stand up,
and fight the power..keeping me down......

It's hard to walk the streets
without thinking about the pipes
pumping rivers of shit just below
the surface.

"Mm. That's a strange fragrance
you're wearing, what's it called?"
"The stink of death."

Snow white. She thought that
seven up was a drink till she discovered vodka

betrayl of truth or
betrayl of trust or the loss
of spelling words right

a job is a job
and they usually blow but
money is money

and the irs is a pimp

guess who's back, again...
send eminem across those
waters, bitching war

total annihilation
explosives not necessary

the golden road is
often covered with dead munchkins
on the way to oz

Is Donald Rumsfeld the tin man?
who's behind the curtain in Baghdad?
(don't get me going on "if I only had a brain")

Death chooses the drugs
Can

My life is over
Audit has come to an end
My soul longs for tax