Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 349 Days and 77328 Haiku later...

Warm day in mid march
With friends, ready to play game
No game? What the fuck!?
Haiku # 27122, March 16, 2003 11:29 am ET
by yammahoper
The foolish cleaners
Put everyone's stuff into
A single black bag
Haiku # 27121, March 16, 2003 10:29 am ET
by A Student of And I don't think they properly cleaned any of it, suckas
Eventually, yes
They would produce all Shakespeare
But in the first week
They'd probably write
Modern british 'comedy'
Or something better
Haiku # 27120, March 16, 2003 3:22 am ET
by A Student of Everyone knows american comedy is written by three monkeys, anyway
back from the bayou,
lovin' the company here,
new home sweet new home.
Haiku # 27119, March 16, 2003 1:51 am ET
by Cornea Pete
it's just too damn slow
i want a new computer
and i will have one
Haiku # 27118, March 15, 2003 11:49 pm ET
by ash
Accept the message
Let it penetrate your soul
Deep down within you
Haiku # 27117, March 15, 2003 8:47 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
Remove your clothes, child
And let the holy father
Cleanse you of your sin
Haiku # 27116, March 15, 2003 8:46 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
Querulous Plough horse
Chafes, admonishing dark earth
Jutting moaning plough
Haiku # 27115, March 15, 2003 4:29 pm ET
by William Nippress
Ok understood
But for now I
Haiku # 27114, March 15, 2003 4:21 pm ET
by William Nippress
Just gotta feel it
This is bad haiku anyway
Don't try so damn hard.
Haiku # 27113, March 15, 2003 4:13 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Head for five dollars
Sorry ho I don't do tricks
I gets mine for free
Haiku # 27112, March 15, 2003 4:11 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Not sure I can do
Too new at this Haiku lark
Show me what you mean
Haiku # 27111, March 15, 2003 4:11 pm ET
by William Nippress
One too many
What a damn mess I've made here
Negligence is mine.
Haiku # 27110, March 15, 2003 4:07 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Buttered up them thighs
Open wide lonely housewife
Therapy's in session.
Haiku # 27109, March 15, 2003 4:06 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
No value statements
Haiku must cut like a blade
Drop the dualism
Haiku # 27108, March 15, 2003 4:03 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Too much abstraction
Use words of the everyday
No philosophy.
Haiku # 27107, March 15, 2003 4:01 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Frowning scarecrow laughs
Enraptured hungry black crows
Take the farmers dance
Haiku # 27106, March 15, 2003 4:00 pm ET
by William Nippress
Conjunctions don't work
Keep them to a minimum
Kill self consciousness
Haiku # 27105, March 15, 2003 3:59 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Steer clear of gerunds
Turn haiku into big mess
Always here and now
Haiku # 27104, March 15, 2003 3:56 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Modifiers suck
Makes for clumsy jumbly prose
Must be crisp and clean
Haiku # 27103, March 15, 2003 3:53 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Peasant
Haiku # 27102, March 15, 2003 3:51 pm ET
by William Nippress
Oh toilet scrub brush
Let the Lord's song be with thee
Wash it all away.
Haiku # 27101, March 15, 2003 3:51 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Greasy icy rocks
Boasting dirty oceans crash
Earths waste putrefies
Haiku # 27100, March 15, 2003 3:42 pm ET
by William Nippress
The problem I see here
Bad haikus trying to be good
They fail miserably.
Haiku # 27099, March 15, 2003 3:41 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Solitary path
A songbird shatters stillness
Lame Buda stumbles
Haiku # 27098, March 15, 2003 3:25 pm ET
by William Nippress
Deliverymen smirks
Bridegrooms supplicate disturbed
Caught with his pants down
Haiku # 27097, March 15, 2003 3:14 pm ET
by William Nippress
Infinite number
Of monkeys with infinite
Number typewriters
.
Was said of Shakespeare
Tempting, but my stuffs poor crap
No Shakespeare am I
Haiku # 27096, March 15, 2003 3:10 pm ET
by William Nippress
Best not touch my beer
Or my sausages or I'll
Get CCTV
Haiku # 27095, March 15, 2003 2:38 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
I came home to cook
As I have much work to do
But all! All my pans!!
Haiku # 27094, March 15, 2003 2:37 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
The bloody cleaners
First they move my stuff around
And now it's not there
Haiku # 27093, March 15, 2003 2:36 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
Infinite number
Of monkeys with infinite
Number computers
That is what I think
Nippress has working for him
Oh his haiku farm
Haiku # 27092, March 27, 2003 2:28 pm ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
Flashing coal dark eyes
Lips of strawberry murmurs
Loves hot desires
Haiku # 27091, March 19, 2003 4:09 am ET
by William Nippress
High mountain rescue
In case you didn
Haiku # 27090, March 19, 2003 12:27 am ET
by William Nippress
Phantom gatekeeper
Gloating snowy carnivore
Norfolk
Haiku # 27089, March 18, 2003 6:13 pm ET
by William Nippress
Names to strike terror
Ascent imagination
Shrieking devils quake
Haiku # 27088, March 18, 2003 4:51 pm ET
by William Nippress
yikes nippleless
he's going down for the count
and many others
Haiku # 27087, March 15, 2003 6:55 pm ET
by ap
Norfolk
Haiku # 27086, March 15, 2003 11:00 am ET
by William Nippress
Mountains flouting death
Icy meandering wind
Roaring unbroken
Haiku # 27085, March 15, 2003 11:00 am ET
by William Nippress
Faintly impatient
Feathers floating aimlessly
Gloomy storm drain laughs
Haiku # 27084, March 15, 2003 10:32 am ET
by William Nippress
Sharp barren gray peaks
Call Norfolk mountain rescue
Lofty climbers lost

Haiku # 27083, March 15, 2003 10:16 am ET
by William Nippress
Don
Haiku # 27082, March 15, 2003 9:47 am ET
by William Nippress
Apologies all
I saw the spelling too late
But now know there
Haiku # 27081, March 15, 2003 9:32 am ET
by William Nippress
Fish with a shotgun
Comes out to get its revenge
Goes on a rampage
Haiku # 27080, March 15, 2003 2:23 am ET
by A Student of Artificial insemination via the ear canal
the lad drophammer
skids along same passages
shitty description
Haiku # 27079, March 14, 2003 9:37 pm ET
by mellie
I miss bung daddy
sometimes I really miss him
not very often
Haiku # 27078, March 14, 2003 9:28 pm ET
by mellie
death is forever
no talk of chocolate please
until after lent
Haiku # 27077, March 14, 2003 9:22 pm ET
by mellie
take a hint please will
observe the reset button
use it more often
Haiku # 27076, March 14, 2003 7:47 pm ET
by ash
goddamnit nippress
let me spell it out for you
GIVE OTHERS A CHANCE
Haiku # 27075, March 14, 2003 7:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i remember love
distant grayscale reflections
gone and all but lost
Haiku # 27074, March 14, 2003 3:36 pm ET
by The Count of Montecristo
the warm egg salad
looks different on the way out
more green, less salad
Haiku # 27073, March 14, 2003 3:29 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
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