Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

k is wrong again,
Anonymous Poet is
the first, with the most
Haiku # 23479, November 22, 2002 12:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You can pick your friends
You can even pick your nose
Don't pick your friend's nose
Haiku # 23478, November 22, 2002 12:29 pm ET
by Mac of Loserville
damn, the preceding
should have been attributed
to the lone maestro
Haiku # 23477, November 22, 2002 10:05 am ET
by maestro
i do not aspire
to dampen the ashen mound
a daunting prospect
Haiku # 23476, November 22, 2002 10:00 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The banality
Of this whole endeavour keeps
me nicely sedate
Haiku # 23475, November 22, 2002 9:49 am ET
by Janis of Toronto
no inspiration
absence of profundity
i embrace this site
Haiku # 23474, November 22, 2002 8:38 am ET
by maestro
k may think it's bad
sure i write lots of haiku
but then, who's counting ?
Haiku # 23473, November 22, 2002 8:08 am ET
by ash
looming before you
largely unavoidable
the rest of your life
Haiku # 23472, November 22, 2002 8:02 am ET
by ash
new uncertainties
honed by old anxieties
rake me like a knife
Haiku # 23471, November 22, 2002 7:59 am ET
by ash
i should get a life
but i write haiku instead.....
oh, this IS my life
Haiku # 23470, November 22, 2002 2:36 am ET
by ash
yes, i remember
8/20/2001
although not fondly
Haiku # 23469, November 22, 2002 12:40 am ET
by scotch (thx for the stats & the preview fix!)
i hold 12th place in
stats for badhaiku poets
who post the most here


I'm not sure, but it
can't be a good thing, at least
I'm not ash in 1st
Haiku # 23468, November 21, 2002 10:15 pm ET
by k
where is everyone?
badhaiku can be lonely
when avoiding work.....
Haiku # 23467, November 21, 2002 10:14 pm ET
by k
listening to tom
waits while coding is just
the ticket I need.....
Haiku # 23466, November 21, 2002 9:42 pm ET
by k of Blood Money
blah!
Haiku # 23465, November 21, 2002 8:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Jackfruit



My body is like the jackfruit on the branch:
my skin is coarse, my meat is thick.


Kind sir, if you love me, pierce me with your stick.
Caress me and sap will slicken your hands.
Haiku # 23464, November 21, 2002 8:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Autumn Landscape


Drop by drop rain slaps the banana leaves.
Praise whoever sketched this desolate scene:


the lush, dark canopies of the gnarled trees,
the long river, sliding smooth and white.


I lift my wine flask, drunk with rivers and hills.
My backpack, breathing moonlight, sags with poems.



Look, and love everyone.
Whoever sees this landscape is stunned.
Haiku # 23463, November 21, 2002 8:27 pm ET
by Ho Xuan Huong
Snail, snail, glister me forward,
Bird, soft sigh me home,
Worm, be with me.
This is my hard time.
Haiku # 23462, November 21, 2002 8:24 pm ET
by Roethke of a greenhouse in Michigan

The most important act of a
poem is to reach further than the page, so that we are aware of
another aspect of the art. This will introduce us to its
spiritual essence. This essence has no limits.
What we are setting out to do is to delimit the work of art, so that it
appears to have no beginning and no end, so that it
overruns the boundaries of the poem on the page.
All of the arts share this need for delimiting.


Coleridge said that a poem must be both obscure and clear.
This is what we search for in our poem,
this beautiful balance between the hidden and the open.


What is this poem that appears to be opening within our hands?

Haiku # 23461, November 21, 2002 7:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"how deep is the sea?
no one really knows for sure..."
-from "Fishing with John"
Haiku # 23460, November 21, 2002 7:49 pm ET
by k_avoiding_coding_the_last_part_of_this_app_through_ANY_distraction
How far is Far Rock?
How far away is away?
How vast is the map?
Haiku # 23459, November 21, 2002 7:40 pm ET
by inquiring minds want to know
Terminal Lake



Although they know no other waters
and have no creation myths,
the fish don't like it here: no way out,
no river to swim upstream or down.
Terminal Lake squats there,
its belly filled by springs, oh rain
and ice and snow. It's deep,
Terminal Lake, and no one's gone to the bottom
and come back up.
All's blind down there, and cold.
From above, it's a huge black coin,
it's as if the real lake is drained
and this lake is the drain: gaping, language-
less, suck- and sinkhole.


-Thomas Lux
Haiku # 23458, November 21, 2002 7:27 pm ET
by k_who_will_not_post_a_haiku_right_now of Underwater
actually, make that
urban SNOB instead of slob
suits me better
Haiku # 23457, November 21, 2002 3:27 pm ET
by urban snob
crack head asks us how
to get to Far Rockaway
look at a map, jerk
Haiku # 23456, November 21, 2002 3:26 pm ET
by urban slob
ask a floating oak
for sound advice and it says
"No, I'm a split pear"!
Haiku # 23455, November 21, 2002 2:52 pm ET
by word salad
already wrapped it
but it has a poem glued
inside with some fish.....

a dream box is where
one puts things having to do
with interiors
Haiku # 23454, November 21, 2002 2:47 pm ET
by k_to_inquiring
What glory is this?
Morning wood is the hardest
I have a big cock
Haiku # 23453, November 21, 2002 2:17 pm ET
by X-wing Ace of Space
through a puff of breath
I see a fir tree tremble
in the wintry light
Haiku # 23452, November 21, 2002 1:56 pm ET
by Gwenhyfar
would love to see that
a dream box filled such as yours
can we see a pic?
Haiku # 23451, November 21, 2002 1:03 pm ET
by inquiring minds want to know
A billion lives lost,
whole worlds destroyed, led up to
this epic battle
of evil vs.
goodness: Onjaysun fights the
About Blank Pop-Up!
Haiku # 23450, November 21, 2002 12:28 pm ET
by onjaysun (warrior/prince/fry cook)
can't catch my subie
355 crank HP
the turbo just screeeems
Haiku # 23449, November 21, 2002 7:02 am ET
by ap
made a "dream box" for
my mother's birthday. Inside...
water and poems
Haiku # 23448, November 21, 2002 4:55 am ET
by k of can't stop working on art projects...
g'day moxie maaate
gladly I admit it too
others more fucked up
Haiku # 23447, November 20, 2002 5:09 pm ET
by mellie
well, I have been fucked
but haven't fucked off
so, I still post sometimes
Haiku # 23446, November 20, 2002 4:53 pm ET
by Mox
"Jesus Loves Me More"
is the sticker appearing
on Scotch's auto.....
Haiku # 23445, November 20, 2002 4:24 pm ET
by k
ha! being *shrink-wrapped*
and packaged is hard enough,
but then no money?
Haiku # 23444, November 20, 2002 4:23 pm ET
by k
you dreamt you were small?
i've no idea what that means
better ask a shrink
Haiku # 23443, November 20, 2002 4:14 pm ET
by scotch to k (cool site)
"do you love that guy?"
i'm pointing to a bumper
jesus rolls his eyes
Haiku # 23442, November 20, 2002 4:00 pm ET
by scotch
unhurt but shaken,
jesus creates a speed trap
to snare subarus
Haiku # 23441, November 20, 2002 3:57 pm ET
by scotch (swears, not swearing, that should have been...)
i dreamt i was small
enough to be shipped fedex
but not enough cash
Haiku # 23440, November 20, 2002 3:38 pm ET
by k_of_bizarre_dreams of Slow Wave will make a cartoon of your dreams even
jesus doesn't use
his goddamned turn signal and
is run off the road
Haiku # 23439, November 20, 2002 3:34 pm ET
by k_against_people_who_drift_from_lane_to_lane_without_signaling
jesus swerves to miss
a drifting cell phone yakker,
swearing softly: "elvis!"
Haiku # 23438, November 20, 2002 3:30 pm ET
by scotch
"hey, this wine is good.
where did you get it again?"
"i made it myself."
Haiku # 23437, November 20, 2002 1:25 pm ET
by scotch, tripping
"shouldn't we get gas?
we've been driving for hours."
jesus smiles, drives on
Haiku # 23436, November 20, 2002 1:23 pm ET
by scotch, on a road trip with jesus
what would jesus drive?
i keep thinking "festiva"
a hitchhiker's dream
Haiku # 23435, November 20, 2002 1:04 pm ET
by scotch
random meat to eat
what is fun?-turduckin-meat
neopolatan
Haiku # 23434, November 20, 2002 12:38 pm ET
by lazy gravy of san francisco
If Google doesn't
count "a's", why should I. Call it
haikuic license.
Haiku # 23433, November 20, 2002 12:36 pm ET
by onjaysun
The day finally came
Dad sat me down for "the talk"
and said, "Jacko's a freak!"
Haiku # 23432, November 20, 2002 12:28 pm ET
by onjaysun
Seen some people count
three syllables in "haiku" -
But it's only two
Haiku # 23431, November 20, 2002 10:52 am ET
by R. of PT
There's snow on the ground
here in Toronto, but it
will all melt today
Haiku # 23430, November 20, 2002 10:41 am ET
by Janis of Toronto
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