i feel my member
its rising, confined by pants
i unzip and hold

Buzz goes the small bees
a fuse sparks in the night sky
You might get the die!

The bitch gets knocked up
and wasted on booze and pot.
I hate trailer trash.

Your white-trash slut mom
is in the kitchen getting
real drunk and pregnant!

I am very sick.
Wankers Anonymous is
a group I joined.

my pee-pee is sore...
i think i beat it too much...
Is that possible?!?!

i fuck ur gurl's bung
and then give her cum-showar
she like it dirty

wahts teh dilly-o
up in dis joint fo' real, yo?!
i forgot the rest.....

A slip of the tongue
the situation goes stale
best go get the run

i have discovered
that there be form in haiku
god dammit fuck me

Tranquil skys, green grass
Wild horses run like the wind.
Your mom is a MILF.

Son, son, OMG!
Sorry for those last couple
of tasteless "haikus"!

Take a ride on the Tricky Wee
a short pass by a the small bees
toss a pickle and a firecrazer son

Where be all the mad
rhyming skillz up in dis piece?
O snap, holla back pimp!

Who did she learn from?
Your daughter sucked my cock like
a real champ last night.

Give a call (ring)
i drop phone in couch!!!!
nooooooooooole! i go dig.

Here i sits son
Lookin at pron on net
I need the sex

Oh fuck. How the hell
Did I manage to post two
of my entries twice!

This is super fun!
Can't stop making up haikus.
Time for a wank break.

Hey Rufs, I got yer
Smash Bros. right here, you coward.
Yeah, son. Fox Fury.

Son, I want anal.
No, you get a stinky wee.
But shit washes off.

lame haiku writer
enough of the handle jibe
repetition sucks

All aboard ManTrain!
Crap. That's all I had to say.
So, uhm....A/S/L?

All aboard ManTrain!
Crap. That's all I had to say.
So, uhm....A/S/L?

Dude, I'm gonna go
masturbate and relieve some
quality stress. Quality.

Dude, I'm gonna go
masturbate and relieve some
quality stress. Quality.

I never met a god but I knew one day someone would buy me dinner.
I'd clean the plate and shake her hand in thanks.
She came from the Japanese equivalent to Mt. Olympus or Heaven or Nirvana, you know.
That means she's a goddess.

(This is stolen from Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)
"I hope I don't win.
It said to bring a friend.
I don't have any."

I'll break haiku law
by refusing its structure.
Take that, syllables.

Haiku haiku hai
ku haiku haiku haiku
haiku haiku damn.

Warm water makes pee.
Cold water makes hard nipples.
Dropped water makes rain.

My nipples are now
Calming down from guaging up
Momentary bliss

.....
.......
u suck

I shalt not permit
you to claim my handle. Try
using oak or pine.

I smell Haiku fart
I piss 14 carat gold
Choke on that swill, beeyatch!!

ugh...my cumstained twat!
damn Chlamydia victim...
Betty is a whore

Wake up, it's your life.
Don't give me that crap, says I.
Oh. I'm a toilet.

my mom has no meat
you had better recognize
say my name, bitches

I've dyslexia.
sonn i cna't tpye rfo dgo htis
i lkie hte nmmnam ssack

I don't eat the meats.
I will make an exception,
though, for your mother.

Arnold's granddad said,
"Scat," and added, "You know. Scat.
What you're standing in."

The first word man said
was probably ouch or ow
or goddammit. Right.

mmm penis penis
mmm penis penis penis
mmm penis penis

haikus limited
to 1000 characters
those would be big words

This is forgery.
These words are someone else's.
I'm a big fat thief.

i don't come to class
i was at the hospital
you want a apple?

kissing cousins are
my cousins (they're taiwanese)
i never kiss them

The TV is loud.
It makes my thinking come slow.
"Come slow" sounds perverse.

I know my last name.
It rhymes, I believe at least,
with the phrase "Blue Cyst."

banging and banging
do you in the doggie way
say you love my cock