Where be all the mad
rhyming skillz up in dis piece?
O snap, holla back pimp!

Who did she learn from?
Your daughter sucked my cock like
a real champ last night.

Give a call (ring)
i drop phone in couch!!!!
nooooooooooole! i go dig.

Here i sits son
Lookin at pron on net
I need the sex

Oh fuck. How the hell
Did I manage to post two
of my entries twice!

This is super fun!
Can't stop making up haikus.
Time for a wank break.

Hey Rufs, I got yer
Smash Bros. right here, you coward.
Yeah, son. Fox Fury.

Son, I want anal.
No, you get a stinky wee.
But shit washes off.

lame haiku writer
enough of the handle jibe
repetition sucks

All aboard ManTrain!
Crap. That's all I had to say.
So, uhm....A/S/L?

All aboard ManTrain!
Crap. That's all I had to say.
So, uhm....A/S/L?

Dude, I'm gonna go
masturbate and relieve some
quality stress. Quality.

Dude, I'm gonna go
masturbate and relieve some
quality stress. Quality.

I never met a god but I knew one day someone would buy me dinner.
I'd clean the plate and shake her hand in thanks.
She came from the Japanese equivalent to Mt. Olympus or Heaven or Nirvana, you know.
That means she's a goddess.

(This is stolen from Space Ghost: Coast to Coast)
"I hope I don't win.
It said to bring a friend.
I don't have any."

I'll break haiku law
by refusing its structure.
Take that, syllables.

Haiku haiku hai
ku haiku haiku haiku
haiku haiku damn.

Warm water makes pee.
Cold water makes hard nipples.
Dropped water makes rain.

My nipples are now
Calming down from guaging up
Momentary bliss

.....
.......
u suck

I shalt not permit
you to claim my handle. Try
using oak or pine.

I smell Haiku fart
I piss 14 carat gold
Choke on that swill, beeyatch!!

ugh...my cumstained twat!
damn Chlamydia victim...
Betty is a whore

Wake up, it's your life.
Don't give me that crap, says I.
Oh. I'm a toilet.

my mom has no meat
you had better recognize
say my name, bitches

I've dyslexia.
sonn i cna't tpye rfo dgo htis
i lkie hte nmmnam ssack

I don't eat the meats.
I will make an exception,
though, for your mother.

Arnold's granddad said,
"Scat," and added, "You know. Scat.
What you're standing in."

The first word man said
was probably ouch or ow
or goddammit. Right.

mmm penis penis
mmm penis penis penis
mmm penis penis

haikus limited
to 1000 characters
those would be big words

This is forgery.
These words are someone else's.
I'm a big fat thief.

i don't come to class
i was at the hospital
you want a apple?

kissing cousins are
my cousins (they're taiwanese)
i never kiss them

The TV is loud.
It makes my thinking come slow.
"Come slow" sounds perverse.

I know my last name.
It rhymes, I believe at least,
with the phrase "Blue Cyst."

banging and banging
do you in the doggie way
say you love my cock

It's funny how time
can reduce great lovers to
a stain on my couch

Guaging a piercing
To make small hole now bigger
It's throbbing fire.

quelle c

et votre haiku stupide aussi!

Va te faire foutre levez l'

De petites vacances

A day in Venice
It took me but a minute
To get me some tweed

Andrew McCarthy =
unattractive as they come
I'd have picked Duckie!

amoeba of love
show a little affection
'cos it's all you've got

anonymous grump
don't insult my synapses
noting the plural

i suffer daily,
oh until when i dont know
i want to scream now.

why are we joined now,
when love has flown away high
too far to get back.

this is too much pain.
i want to get out but cannot
beloved will hurt.